New Political Party – The ReBorn Party.

We’re going to put the Great back in Britain again!

I’m going to cut crime by 95% in two days! We ship all criminals off to Siberia to special camps and close all prisons!! That’ll save a fortune!

I will triple the number of police and arm them with assault rifles!

I’ll bring in compulsory conscription and create an army of millions.

I will ban all protests and deport protestors.

I will introduce public floggings for minor crimes and bring back capital punishment.

I will build a wall around the UK and shoot immigrants who try to enter – on sight!

I will increase pensions by 50% and double the winter fuel allowance.

I will do away with ALL welfare payments and make work compulsory.

I will institute a fifty hour week to raise productivity and boost the economy.

I will raise the retire age to eighty so that we can harness the skill and experience of our seniors. No more thrown on the rubbish heap!

I will triple the pay of politicians so that we attract in the right calibre!

I will cut taxes for millionaires to increase investment and do away with corporation tax to attract companies! There will be a trickle down to the poor.

I will make it easy to fire people. With no welfare to fall back on they will have to work hard. We will not tolerate skivers and freeloaders.

I will end all wars in 1 day!

I will give Gaza to Israel and Ukraine to Russia!

I will nuke Iran and North Korea removing threats and making us safe!

I will not only ban burqas but completely ban Islam. This is a Christian nation!

All citizens will have to speak English fluently and immigrants and their progeny will have to pass a citizens exam or be deported!

We’ll ban trade unions and make all strikes illegal.

Free Speech will be mandatory with NO restrictions!

The government will run the BBC and all media outlets so that no misinformation or fake news can be distributed!

We will make the singing of the National Anthem compulsory at the start of the day in all schools and government institutions. It will be played at the end of the day on all media and radio. People will be expected to stand, sing and place their right hand on their hearts.

I will introduce a British pledge of allegiance!

I will have a St George’s week where people should dress as crusaders.

The school curriculum will only feature British history and reflect the greatness of our fabulous Empire. We will teach our children that Great Britain is superior to any other race and they should be proud to die for their country!

I will start a programme of reinvasions to take back what is rightfully ours.

I will double down on Brexit and break ALL ties with Europe – we’ll put a 200% tariff on all EU goods!

I will replace all statues with people that have inspired us – Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump – people will be expected to bow their heads in passing to recognise their greatness.

The proms will be compulsory viewing with renditions of Rule Britannia and Jerusalem mandatory.

I will reclaim the USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand and take control of the Suez Canal.

I will make Donald Trump King and replace the royal family (they’re all Germans)!

I am not nuts! I am a patriotic Englishman – proud to be British!

God save the New King! God save the UK! God save Farage and Trump! Put the Great back in Britain!

In the second week I will…

Should Great Britain lay claim to the USA?

Well now we’ve got Trump laying claim to Greenland, Canada and the Panama Canal, perhaps it is time that Great Britain reasserted its claim to the USA?

We should send a gunboat and oust the scurvy terrorists who took over! They have no right! The USA is a British colony.

We have far more right to the USA than the USA does over Greenland or Canada!!

I am sure that most sane Americans would welcome Britain’s common sense and intelligence. They are mad for someone to bring some sanity back into play. They are thoroughly fed up with all the craziness. The would welcome the grown-up’s taking charge.

We could start by Canada, a British partner, assuming control. Then the British government would take over and bring intelligence and common sense to bear. America could be great again with somebody intelligent in charge.

Britain would clean up the mess, sort out the racism, sort out the gun craziness, put the religious nutcases back in their boxes and create a pleasant dynamic multicultural society!

Think.

You know it makes sense!

Great Britain – those glory days of the past. What a myth.

I keep hearing about how great it used to be in the past. You must be joking! It stank.

Back in the days of Empire Britain exploited a great deal of the world, robbed their wealth, stole their resources and used cheap labour to create huge wealth. That wealth came back into the aristocracy and the huge stately homes but did not filter down to the workers. Their conditions were appalling.

My Grandfather fought in the First World War. My father’s generation fought in the Second World War. I was in the first generation that didn’t get massacred in war. Fortunately my sons and daughters have not had to fight either. Things are much better. I wouldn’t want that worry.

Times were hard when I was young despite being risen middle class. The house was so cold I got chilblains every winter. There was no central heating, telephone and we got the first TV on the block – a little black and white.

My Dad worked in Fleet Street in London. He worked six days a week. Left the house at six thirty and got back at six thirty. He ate his tea, read the newspapers, watched a little TV and went to bed at ten. On Sunday he cut the roast and mowed the grass. He had two weeks holiday a year.

From where I stood he had no life. He had no possessions. His life was hard and regimented. He wore his suit and toed the line.

Britain was great? No. The aristocracy and wealthy creamed it all off. The middle class were subservient and knew their place and the working class worked hard for low wages in dangerous conditions. One of my classmates was killed at work in the first three weeks after he left school. Thank heavens for unions and a decent wage. Thank heavens for the health and safety that the unions fought for. They had to be wrested from a screaming management.

My father was a man of great integrity, intelligence and principles – but he was a product of his time. Because of his poor background he was shunned by management and ostracised. He knew his place and just got on with it. There was such a rigid class system that it was claustrophobic. If you were part of it you got on and had it made. The Old Boys’ network ruled. The Rotary Club and Masons, the all-male clubs in London. It was obscene.

I was offered Rotary and Masons and turned them down flat. I will have nothing to do with secret societies scratching each others backs. The Old Boy network and class system stink worse than a room of dead rats.

Women were second-class citizens – good for typing, shop-work and nursing.

Racism was extant. My father believed that a white Englishman was better than everybody else. He was racist and refused to employ foreigners, blacks or Asians. He had an impossible test he gave any applicants he did not like. We would argue like mad about it.

Where is this greatness?

Back in the early twentieth century we were a major power. Yes we were. That was because we robbed our empire and stole all the raw materials and exploited our own working population. The profits went to the rich and powerful.

We were respected? I’m not so sure about that. We were feared because we were so brutal, but respected?

So we are heading back to greatness when everything was great. So where is this wealth coming from now? We have no empire anymore. The working class don’t want to work for low pay and be exploited and we have little manufacturing and resources.

I had a great life. I had fun fighting for a liberal world and an outgoing society. I wanted fun, freedom, fairness and equality and had a great life fighting for it. I have a life with possessions and travel and a standard of living that my parents could only have dreamed of.

Great – this is the greatest it’s ever been!