My friend Graham sent me these. They made me chuckle.
The roadmap out of lockdown. The world-beating, oven-ready Brexit. A clown with a haystack on his head. A cabinet of extreme nincompoops. A set of lies and stupidities. Dithering. Disunity. No bloody idea at all!!!
We’ve broken down on the Smart Motorway!! It doesn’t look good. Where the hell are we going???
‘Like so many things in politics, Brexit was always different things to different people, which was part of the trick.
Each voter for Brexit thought their version was what they were voting for’.
The reality is that it has cost us a fortune, buried us in red-tape, slowed down trade, put people out of work, caused firms to go bust or open European branches, put up prices and given more power to a bunch of Eton schoolboys who are making a mint out of it!!
Reclaimed sovereignty?? A joke!!
It was labelled project Fear.
What’s it called now?
Do you think that the truth is going to come out? Or are they going to cover it up with covid??
Thanks John Peachey!
I don’t know what is going to happen to the GOP. 61% of Americans, including a big chunk of Republicans, thought that Trump should have been impeached. I think the GOP have shot themselves in the foot by standing behind lies and conspiracy. They’ll pay for it.
Thanks to John Peachey for sending these Chris Riddell’s through.
He’s got the pompous Tory bluster and arrogance down to a tee.
Just what we want – more mismanagement and stupidity.
As Mitch McConnell makes his nonsensical statement that Trump is guilty as hell while then acquitting him, the Republican Party is still in thrall to fascism. Instead of standing up for Republican values, honesty and honorability they have gone for cowardice and self-interest. We’ll see where that leads.
Meanwhile, the pave the way for the return of the fascist tyrant.
Who would have believed that this populism could harness virulent nationalism and slide so easily into fascism?? Who could believe it?
A short while ago these same senators that voted to acquit Trump were cringing for cover and having to be escorted from the Capitol by armed secret service to protect them from a mob, incited by Trump, seeking blood and seeking to overturn a legitimate election.
They were threatened by Trump that if they did not support him he would orchestrate his boot-boys to vote them out of office.
These senators have received death-threats. Their families have been threatened.
Is this what democracy looks and sounds like in America today? Ruled by the mob and not by law and order? Ruled by a fascist dictator who sits in the wings and deploys his bully-boys to do his will?
Is this what the Republican party now stands for?
Was this what draining the swamp was all about?
So now lies, fear and hate rule and morality goes out the window.
Phew!!! I was worried there!! I thought for a minute that Brexit was all going to prove a terrible mistake, make us a lot poorer, lose loads of jobs, wreck our economy, greatly reduce our power and influence and saddle us with mountains of red tape!! Glad to hear that it’s all just teething problems and that soon we’re all going to be turbo-charged and the over-ready deal was going to make the UK great again (And not just put money in Rees-Mogg’s pockets).
Fabulous Chris Riddell sums it up.
‘Now then PM,’ Dan grinned, ‘time to take stock.’
‘Arf Arf, right you are, err err.’
‘Hancock’s releasing the white paper on the reorganization of the NHS. We have to make sure we put a positive spin on it and keep the attention off covid and Brexit.’
‘Fish-hooks, gazooks. err arff, you’re not wrong there Dan. Bally disaster, err.’
‘Quite.’ Dan shrugged. ‘It’s OK, nobody seems to have noticed.’
‘Bally lorries parked up, eerrr, arf, parked up all over. Firms going arf err bust, people winging yaah.’
‘Yes, yes,’ Dan nodded with a smirk. ‘But they’re not blaming it on you, are they? They think it’s covid and the EU causing the problems, don’t they? We’re still two points up in the polls! Just keep telling them it’s teething problems. It’ll settle. A bumpy take-off.’
‘Easy for you to say Dan arf arf. Those blighters want my balls!’
‘Yes, well,’ Dan handed the sheet of paper across the table. It was all simplified into ten bullet points. That was the maximum Boris could be relied on to read and probably more than he could take in. ‘A bit of a deflection from reality.’ He chuckled.
‘Err arf yaa, I don’t know Dan,’ Boris looked aghast. ‘with err 115,000 deaths arf. It’s er, er, getting damn hard to deflect. Bally worst in the world! Jolly hard to arf arf deflect that!’
‘I keep telling you,’ Dan replied with a frown and exasperated shrug, ’13 million vaccinated and the curves coming right down. It’s all looking rosy. You can’t compare countries. They use different stats. They lie. Nobody saw this coming. Nobody could do it better. We’re straining every sinew. Just keep repeating it. It’s going in. I hear people saying it. Two points up in the polls!’
‘Gosh, by Jove, err, err, you cheer me err up Dan, arf. What would I do, err err, with err out you?’
Dan said nothing.
‘Are you, are you err sure, that this um um change is right in the err midst of a err err bally pandemic?’
Dan raised his eyes and sighed. ‘We’ve been over this Boris. We need to take their minds off the Brexit chaos and the covid mess. Be positive. We are seizing the opportunity to make the NHS a lot better. Now,’ he waved the white sheet of paper, ‘Hancock’s coming out with the details. As much as he needs to tell the bastards,’ he muttered under his breath.
‘Bu,but, but, arf arf, isn’t this just undoing all the er, bloody things we brought in ten, err arf, years ago?’
‘ Boris,’ Dan said with a shake of his head. ‘That’s ten years ago. That’s a different world. Cameron and Langley were nincompoops. Nobody remembers that far back. They won’t associate it with a Tory government. We’re safe. We’re fixing glaring errors.’
‘But err err hell Dan. Those reorganisations cost billions and aaahh ah caused chaos. Won’t um um these ones err ummm cost us a bally fortune?’
Dan threw up his hands and looked shocked. ‘Whatever you do don’t say that! We are streamlining, we are connecting, we are joining up.’ He looked imploringly at Boris. ‘Look at the sheet man. We’re linking care and health into a single organisation. We’re making them accountable to government.’ He tapped the paper with his finger. ‘Read it man. We’re cutting red tape. It all makes sense. It’ll save money.’
‘Yes by jove, yes,’ Boris said eagerly, scanning the sheet without taking a word in. ‘But, err, err, what ummm what if the blighters daa umm start umm asking about err the 110,000 vacancies arf arf and the errm nurses and er doctors that err we’ve ummm driven out err with Brexit??’
Dan looked weary. ‘We’re putting more money in. We’re supporting our loyal nurses and doctors. They’re doing a gallant job. Salt of the earth. We’re training up proper British doctors. We’re doing all we can. National emergency.’
‘But ummm, everyone knows errr umm, we’ve cut the NHS to the bone and all the bally nurses are using food banks.’
Dan shook his head. ‘No, they don’t know that at all.’
‘And Brexit is erm erm like a huge err brain drain.’
‘No,’ Dan said firmly. ‘We all support our nurses and doctors. That’s why we’re doing this. We’re making their jobs easier and cutting red tape.’
‘But Brexit has caused, errr erm bloody mountains of red tape!’
‘We don’t say that do we? Massive opportunities. Strength to strength. Bright future!! DO NOT MENTION RED TAPE, LORRY QUEUES, JOB LOSSES OR FIRMS MOVING ABROAD!’ He looked exasperated and was actually thumping the table.
Boris looked chastened. ‘Couldn’t err, we err just arf arf, give them a pay rise?’ He asked pathetically.
‘Don’t be daft,’ Dan said angrily. ‘They’re not any of ours.’