Roy Harper – Feeling all the Saturday – a song to cheer you up!

This was a part of Roy’s stage act back in the late sixties. Roy had many dimensions. His act contained deep poetic social epics such as McGoohan’s Blues, instrumental extravaganzas that showed off his innovative and masterly guitar skills such as One For All (a la Davy Graham), love songs such as Another Day, experimental pieces like In My Time of Water and humorous ditties like Feeling al the Saturday. He melded them all together to create a multidimensional experience. One minute we’d be intensely listening to a poetic diatribe on the state of society and the next laughing our heads off. It worked.

I remember Roy once saying to me back in the late sixties that there were a number of directions he could go off in and that maybe he should concentrate on one or the other.

There was a feeling that while all these songs worked well together on stage they might not fit the mood of a serious album like Flat Baroque and Berserk. There was a discussion about whether to include Feeling all the Saturday on the album. Roy made a suggestion that it should be included by cutting it into the cardboard of the cover so that you had to play the cover. That turned out to be infeasible. Would have been weird though wouldn’t it? I’m not sure that the cover would have been capable of turning round on a turntable without the corners catching. They would probably have had to make a round cover.

Anyway, I’m glad that Roy chose to include it. I have such fond memories of him playing it live. It is fun but there is a deepness to it as well. I love it.

Fun and thoughtfulness! Stay safe everyone!

Another fun collection of wine images – the never ending wine meme

Loved this one too!

The Wine Wankers

wine laughs funny stuff laundry doing it right

After the success of Wine… It pairs perfectly with Christmas!A collection of fun wine images and A great collection of wine infographics, I thought I’d create a new post as a way to store away a few more wine funnies that have come our way.

I wish I could credit the brilliant minds behind these but unless it’s on the image that important fact has been lost through time.

The humorous wine memes seem to be never ending. Enjoy! 😛

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A collection of fun wine images

This tickled my fancy and uncorked my bottle!

The Wine Wankers

After the success of our “Wine… It pairs perfectly with Christmas” post that was full of fun Christmas wine related images (in which you can have a look at by clicking here), I thought I’d share another lot of the fun wine related images that have come through our Twitter and Facebook feeds.

I wish I could credit the brilliant minds behind these but unless it’s on the image that important fact has been lost through time.

Enjoy!    😛

a-funny-cat-glass-wine-bottle

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Beauty tips for mature Yorkshire Lads – not a hint of humour.

Beauty tips for mature Yorkshire Lads

Straight from the Nothern Powerhouse – if you’re pissed off with all those beauty tips that tell lasses that they’re worth it and tell ’em how to get tarted up then get on to these great tips. These are essential beauty tips for us blokes!

Because you’re worth it!!!!

  • Mayonaise/Black pudding for wrinkles round the eyes and soft skin that lasses like to run their fingers over. Ladle on a thick layer of Hellman’s over face, back and chest. Cover eyes with slices of black pudding. Leave for 3 days for a pefect result – because you’re worth it!
  • The Yorkshire tan – the gravy stain – why waste time in a tanning parlour when you can get a lovely lass to rub it in for free!
  • Washing up liquid shampoo – none of the Fairy shyte though!
  • Defoliate with ajax and a scourer! Try the metal scourer for lasting effects!
  • The toilet plunger for under the arm care – A bit of used engine oil for lubrication and the toilet plunger (rinse first) can be used for removing unwanted odour.
  • Saturday night fashion tips – there are none! You’re good as you are.
  • Fashion accessories for a night down the pub – anything you can think of – traffic cones, road signs, masks of Steve Bruce/Johnny Depp or a cardboard box.
  • The minx effect – spray WD40 under t’armpits – drives lasses mad – ‘ave ’em chasing round after yer.
  • Lard – suffer from spots/acne – scoop on the lard – Vitamin z3 – paste it all over the body, seal with clingfilm and leave for three days – When you unwrap your skin will be perfect.
  • Dripping – the revitaliser – Viagra of north – full of Vitamin z9 and Provitamin g as well as allolipidomosities – makes the Todger Podger. Eat three pound of lard straight before going out for the night. It’ll put zip in you.
  • Used Engine oil for that well-groomed hair! Look good – smell good!
  • Grey round the edges – dulux for colour – touch that hair up to perfection – whatever colour – brighten yourself up. (Good for beard and chest hair too – but be careful with the boxer line!)
  • Deodorant – goat and ferret extract – put dead ferret through mangle and stand juice in extract of goat bollocks for three months – souse armpits and you’re away lad!

I did all these for a year and I had lasses running after me (well they were running anyway – that’s a start!).

Poetry – The Wonders of Aging – the complete list!

The wonders of aging

There is nothing more infuriating than not being able to find the right word when you want it. It’s like having an argument with an officious person in authority and then thinking of what you should have said when you are half a block away.

I don’t enjoy the physical limitations. I used to love playing football. Now that’s a dream.

I used to have great optimism and dreams. I wanted to change the world. My idealism is becoming tinged with realism. Every now and then I have to have a clear out in my head, round up all the pragmatism and kick it out.

Then you go into a room to get something and have to stand there like a fool trying to remember what it was. And you repeat yourself.

I don’t like aching.

I don’t like slowing down.

I don’t like time running out.

I don’t like aging.

Where’s the wisdom when you can’t remember the experience?

Have I told you about the frustration of not being able to find the right word?

Here’s a list of all the wonders of aging:

1.

2.

3.

The Wonders of Aging

 

My electrons are orbiting slow.

My dreams are drying out.

I ache in every joint

And all I seem to do

Is shout.

From the way it now seems,

I’ve got desiccated dreams.

My memory is shot

I’ve forgotten who I was.

I repeat myself too much.

I think it’s because

My neurons

Are full of fuzz

So the electricity

Doesn’t buzz.

I wander into a room

To find something I’ve forgotten.

My memory is shot

I’ve forgotten who I was.

I repeat myself too much.

I think it’s because

My neurons

Are full of fuzz

So the electricity

Doesn’t buzz.

Opher 9.11.2015

Culture – Stuck in the past – Frivolous and shallow – Confused – Methodical and stylised – Or Opher’s Vibrant new Zeitgeist? The choice is yours!

Changing the culture culture-cartoon

It seems to me that culture is in need of a remake! We are in dire need of standing back, taking a really good hard look at how we humans are living our life and creating a new universal culture for the 21st Century.

Let me sum up culture as I see it in a nutshell:

We have Middle Eastern Culture stuck in a time-warp in the dark ages with medieval costume, misogyny, intolerance and stultification.

We have Western Culture – frivolous, hedonistic, indulgent, superficial, celebrity and fashion crazy, shallow and status orientated.

We have Far Eastern Culture – superstitious, methodical, serious and lacking in emotion

We have South American Culture – full of Roman Catholic guilt laid over fiery fun and traditional ethnic culture, held down by poverty

We have Jamaican culture – laid back and naïve.

I could go on but I wouldn’t want to get accused of being stereotypical. I think I may have upset enough people already.

What we need is a new culture for the 21st century – Fun, Caring, Tolerant, Aesthetic, Serious, Creative, Environmentally Aware, Outward Looking, Varied, Peaceful, Energetic, Sporty, Artistic, Exploratory, Open, All Encompassing, Problem Solving, Vibrant, Accepting, Respectful, Empathetic, Responsible and Loving.

Join the new Positive Zeitgeist, take the best from the past and make something better!!

A bit of the good stuff does you good!!

happy-quotes-488-520x245 happy BIMBI-Safe-Caring happyball happy-heart-resized-600 Mother Holding Child's Hand

Sometimes in amongst all the terrible things going on – beheadings, hatred, terrorism, rampant capitalism, trials, abject poverty, overpopulation and environmental degradation, we lose sight of the great things people are doing.

Out there, right now, are a set of saints pulling out all the stops to make things better.

I salute them.

The health workers dealing with Ebola who put themselves at risk

The aid workers helping the refugees

The reporters trying to tell us what is going on in the war zones

The nurses, doctors and orderlies dealing with the sick and dying in the most deprived parts of the world, in our inner cities

The psychologists trying to comfort and rebuild the lives of the tortured, bereaved and traumatised

The people going out of their way to do kind things, help, give, smile, cuddle and love.

The mediators and peace makers

Those who forgive

The creators of beauty

The environmentalists fighting to save a forest, a tree, a species, a single insect.

Those who give sanctuary to an animal or family

Those who succour and care

Those who give more than they can afford

The educators who are building a better future through knowledge, truth and understanding

These are the heroes! These are the people who deserve medals! These are the people who make life worth living!

Fascism and fanaticism are killed by education and good deeds – not bombs! Help build a better zeitgeist!

So who did I miss out who is deserving of our thanks?

An attempt to lighten up!

It seems to me that what the world really needs is a lot more fun. Things have got far too serious. There should not be so much cruelty, hatred and sectarian violence. We should all lighten up and be peaceful, happy, helpful, loving and friendly.

For that reason I would like to propose that we all take a mandatory look, once a day, at George Carling. It should replace superfluous stuff like praying. Instead of pointless prayers to an invisible supernatural human construct we should take the time to lighten our minds, bring in a little mirth and have fun.

I suggest everyone should check out George Carling – ‘religion is bullshit’ and ‘the ten commandments’ on Youtube:

The ten commandments – http://youtu.be/CE8ooMBIyC8

Religion is bullshit – http://youtu.be/8r-e2NDSTuE

Then, having refreshed the spirit with a little light relief, we can get back to looking at Opher’s World and start considering all the shit that governments and religions don’t want us to think about. We can exercise our intelligence, turn on the brain, stop believing anything the government tells us, discount everything we read in newspapers and start trying to stop the destructive ravages of war, overpopulation, ecosystem destruction, poverty and religious hatred.

They are things that can be solved. We can create a better world. All the rhinos, elephants, whales, chimps, tigers and gorillas do not have to die. Let’s feel really good by making things better.

Opher’s World is about a better zeitgeist!