The letter arrived through my letter box. I picked it up and could immediately see that it was addressed to someone else but I opened it anyway.
Dear Noddy,
Please warn Big Ears that I’m going to nuke London.
That’ll teach you limey’s not to help me bomb the hell out of Iran in my big beautiful war. (which we’ve won by the way! We didn’t need you!)
Donald J Trump
‘Bloody Hell!’ I thought. ‘Why’s that come to me?’
Then I noticed that Hegseth had been charged with sending it to Noddy.
‘Phew,’ I thought, ‘nuking the whole of London just cos we didn’t join n with his ill-thought-through mess. That didn’t seem fair. Maybe if he’d told us first and involved us instead of simply going gung-ho.’
What to do now? I went on the internet to see if I could find Big Ear’s address so I could redirect it and send it on to him.