The Ballad of Dominic Cummings
There once was a couple called Domie and Boris
Who hosted a party in their garden of roses
All their pals and the media had gathered there
For Domie Cummings, his soul to bare
We had a pandemic in the World you see
The people were told they were no longer free
To go outside and socialise
Nor visit their loved ones as they died
But that rule was not for everyone
And Cummings broke it with impunity
He got a story drafted for us
Knowing that Boris would provide immunity
After all Boris had nothing else on his plate
Just the pandemic and that could wait
So he and his cronies supported their buddy
As the truth, his tale, was intended to muddy
Fairy Tale of Barnard Castle
[Based loosely] on the tune of “Fairy Tale of New York”, The Pogues]
“ My eyes were fuzzy and I could not see so good
So we all got in my car. I’m really quite a dude
And then we had a trip to Barnard Castle town
But going back again, we had to stop”
Then the river was calling so we took a little walk
Alongside it’s rippling flow we passed the time
But then we had to leave to drive back home again
Then came the miracle, my sight was fine
Now that bit is the truth there will be no regrets
And I’ve always got Boris to watch my back
Though I spread the beastie
through our green and pleasant land
I am pretty sure that I’ll not get the sack
Chorus
We’ve got cars big as bars
We’ve got bank accounts to match
So we really don’t care much
For daft rules on our patch
Just let all the low paid keep this country fit
While we open the champagne and dream of Brexit
He’s a bum
He’s a twit
He’s gotta be on smack
If he thinks we believe him
He’s buttoned up the back
As the boys of the right wing syndicate
were singing Jerusalem
The bells were ringing out for Dominie
