The strange things you write when you are twenty one and your brain is still wiring up! This is a sort of mystical bit of strangeness about reality, infinity and where we fit in.

30.

It was Wednesday – a quiet day. Messny felt the sunlight bouncing on the wall and off out into space as he lay in his morning bed. It was still relatively dark in here with the curtains drawn.

‘Wait a bit?’ Messny thought to himself. ‘How did I manage to feel the sunlight hitting the wall?’

But he allowed himself to retreat into his drowsy state. It did not really matter how one felt these things.

‘Outside,’ he thought sleepily, ‘how absurd. If there was such a thing as outside I could not possibly feel the sunlight. No – at last there was no outside or inside.’

After a while the sunlight lessened in intensity and then there was only the softer play of moonlight on the wall which played a gentler tune and lulled Messny to sleep.

Dreaming, dreaming softly, dreaming of green fields and soft hues – tranquil, lazy days in which the Earth is bathed in sunlight. It is a new world – forever young, with no yesterdays or tomorrows. Messny was busily moulding it out of thin air. In his lazy dreams he lay on his bed and felt the sunlight meander through the layers of the wall before bouncing off into space.

Messny whimsically thought to himself – ‘if someone was to wake me now and say ‘Hey, you were dreaming,’ I would have to say – ‘No, I was not dreaming, but now I am.’

A hand shook Messny’s shoulder and he woke into the room with sunlight bouncing off the wall again.

‘Do you want something to eat?’ Janey asked with a smile.

‘No thank you,’ Messny replied. ‘I’m OK I’m dreaming.’

As soon as his eyes closed he awoke back in his bed, dreaming of sunlight bouncing off the wall. He thought to himself – ‘Only a dream away I had thought that I was doing precisely this. Now it is really happening.’

Another annoying side of him whispered in his inner ear in a tone of voice that suggested that it knew better – ‘How do you know you are not dreaming now?’

‘That’s easy,’ he answered himself, ‘if I were dreaming I could pinch myself and wake up.’

Messny pinched himself and woke up in the same room with the same sun busy at work.

‘That’s incredible,’ Messny said to himself, looking around the room, ‘Only just now I was dreaming about exactly this.’

‘You thought it was real then,’ his irritating inner voice said in such a superior tone.

‘Yes,’ Messny replied, continuing the inner dialogue. ‘But at least I am sure that this is real.’

‘Don’t be too sure of that,’ it replied in a tone that suggested that it was in possession of better information that the rest of Messny.

Before Messny could really decide if this element of doubt could ever be resolved the door opened again and disturbed his trend of thought. Janey appeared with a concerned expression on her face.

‘Are you sure you are not hungry?’ she asked. ‘You haven’t eaten for over a day.’

Messny became aware of a decidedly uncomfortable hollow feeling in his stomach.

‘You know, I think you’re right,’ he replied. ‘I’m ravenous.’

‘Well get up then,’ Janey instructed him.

‘There you are,’ Messny said internally, addressing that inner voice of doubt. He was feeling smug because he thought he had a little bit of ammunition this time. ‘I’m feeling hungry and in a minute I am going to get up, go to the loo, get dressed and have something to eat. I can remember back into all my past life and this is a logical extension of where I was. If this was a dream it would not be so rational. It would be chaotic and disjointed. This is my life. It is ordinary.’

Messny swung round and got himself out of bed. There was no reply from his inner self and he interpreted that as admitting defeat. It had caved in before such impregnable logic.

Messny ate his meal and made pleasant conversation with Janey. She had been concerned over his strange behaviour and thought that he must be sickening for something. Messny reassured her that he had merely been exhausted. It was a lie. He wandered off into the garden with a mug of coffee. He could feel the sunshine bounce off his face. It seemed to beckon him.

Without a thought he stepped out of his clothes so that it could play across his skin. He luxuriated in the naked energy interacting with his body. He walked around watching the energies cascading in delicate arcs of a billion different hues and his senses sang with pleasure. His skin throbbed as his cells soaked up the warmth and light. He could sense the earth and grass all pulsing in time to the rhythm of the sun. He was part of it. They all danced to the melody of the sun. The ground crawled up and the sky reached down. Messny was bathed in the ecstasy of the cosmic dance – connected to the furthest star and beyond through the universal stream.

Energy was all there was and everything vibrated with energy.

A voice pulled Messny back from his infinite reveries. It was a tiny vibration almost too small to bother with. He felt little as hands gently guided him away.

Dimly heard voices filtered through to his ears from another dimension:

‘I’m really worried about him,’ the vibration was saying. ‘He’s been acting very strange lately – lying in bed all day and not eating. I’ve just found him wandering about outside with no clothes on. He appears to be in a daze. He’s not there at all. I’m wondering if I should call a doctor?’

‘He’s probably just got a dose of flu,’ another vibration answered. ‘Give him a day or two and he’ll probably be fine.’

Messny woke in bed with the sunlight bouncing off the walls. He was full to the brim with contentment.

‘Where are you now?’ the irritating voice inside his head asked.

‘Lying in my bed, of course,’ Messny replied.

‘Are you still sure you are not dreaming?’ it sneered.

A wave of panic passed through Messny’s mind but before he could reply the doctor arrived and proceeded to examine him. He checked Messny’s throat, took his temperature, poked around his abdomen and proceeded to ask a series of questions. He prescribed a sedative and left.

His prognosis was too much sun.

Messny was drowsy and passed into a deep sleep. The last thing he remembered was the feel of atoms playing in the sunlight. His dreams were empty and forgotten.

A while later he woke into a fresh world. Energy was causing crazy patterns to flow in the wallpaper. He quickly got out of bed and dressed.

The others were up and starting to eat and he joined them. They greeted him jovially – delighted to see him looking so perky and bright. It appeared that Messny was back to normal. He made small talk, smiled and was positively glowing with health and joined them for breakfast.

Messny looked out of the window at the garden with all its vivid colours. The sun was shining and the earth and flowers danced. He wanted to go out to play but thought that he had best not – at least not yet.

The doctor’s prognosis was probably right – a case of too much sun.

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