Frank Zappa – Brown Shoes Don’t Make It

Posted on by Opher

Frank was the first to use satire to comment on the hypocrisy of society. He identified the way it was one rule for the people at the top and one rule for everyone else – that the moral stance was a veneer.

He talked about the leaders being sexually perverse while projecting a moral stance.

How right he was. The sex scandals have revealed some of the seamier side of these supposedly moral pillars of society.

They are depraved and exploit their position to abuse.

The elite live a life of luxury, with a two-faced lifestyle, while the poor live a life of drudgery and get blamed for immorality.

“Brown Shoes Don’t Make It”

Brown shoes don’t make it
Brown Shoes don’t make it
Quit school, why fake it
Brown shoes don’t make itTV dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You’re okay, he’s too weird
Be a plummer
He’s a bummer
He’s a bummer every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot
For a world that doesn’t care
That’s right

Smile at every ugly
Shine on your shoes and cut your hair

Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Be a jerk-go to work
Do your job, and do it right
Life’s a ball
TV tonight
Do you love it
Do you hate it
There it is
The way you made it

A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer in a desk by a Naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office

We see in the back
Of the City Hall mind
The dream of a girl about thirteen
Off with her clothes and into a bed
Where she tickles his fancy
All night long

His wile’s attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed his teen-age queen
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
Baby, baby. ..
Baby, baby. . .
Cimmie then cakes, uh!
If I do I’m gonna lose my…

And he loves it, he loves it
It curls up his toes
She wipes his fat neck
And it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled
Old City Hall Fred
She’s nasty, she’s nasty
She digs it in bed
That’s right

Do it again, ha
And do it some more
Hey, that does it, by golly
And she’s nasty for sure
Nasty nasty nasty
Nasty nasty nasty
Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty

She’s a dirty young mind, corrupted
Corroded
Well she’s thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded

If she were my daughter, I’d…
What would you do, Frankie?
If she were my daughter, I’d …
What would you do, Frankie?
Check this out
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
She’s my teen-age baby
She turns me on
I’d like to make her do a nasty
On the White House lawn
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And boogie ’till the cows come home

Time to go home
Madge is on the phone
Got to meet the Gurney’s and a dozen gray attorneys
TV dinner by the pool
I’m so glad I finished school
Life is such a ball
I run the world from City Hall

Plastic People – Frank Zappa

Posted on by Opher

Frank’s early satirical look at America from 1966. His view of the consumerist society was that it was all superficial – plastic. There was no substance to it.

This was certainly groundbreaking in 1966.

“Plastic People”

Ladies & Gentelmen . . . the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES!

Fella Americans . . .
DOOT, DOOT, DOOT . . . DOOT . . .
He’s been sick.
DOO-OO-OOT . . . DOOT! DOOT!
(Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet . . . Teet-Teet-Teet)
And I think his wife is gonna bring him some chicken soup.
DOOT, DOOT (Teet-Teet)

Plastic people
Oh baby, now . . .
You’re such a drag

(I know it’s hard to defend an unpopular policy every once in a while . . . )

Plastic people
Oh baby, now
You’re such a drag

(And there’s this guy from the CIA and he’s creeping around Laurel Canyon . . . )

A fine little girl
She waits for me
She’s as plastic
As she can be
She paints her face
With plastic goo
And wrecks her hair
With some shampoo

Plastic people
Oh baby, now
You’re such a drag

(I dunno . . . sometimes I just get tired of ya, honey . . . it’s – Ah – your hair spray . . . or something.)

Plastic people
Oh baby!
You’re such a drag

(I hear the sound of marching feet . . . down Sunset Blvd. to Crescent Heights, and there, at Pandora’s Box, we are confronted with . . . a vast quantity of PLASTIC PEOPLE.)

Take a day
And walk around
Watch the nazis
Run your town
Then go home
And check yourself
You think we’re singing
‘Bout someone else . . . but you’re

Plastic people!
(Woooooooooooooooooooh!)
Oh baby, now . . .
You’re such a drag

Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooo-Ooo-Ooo Ooooooooh!

Me see a neon
Moon above
I searched for years
I found no love
I’m sure that love
Will never be
A product of
Plasticity
A product of
Plasticity
A product of
Plasticity:

[FZ:]
PLASTIC! PLASTIC PEOPLE!
PLA-HA-HA-HA-HA . . .
PLASTIC . . . PEOPLE
PLASTIC PEOPLE . . . OO-OOOH OO-OOH . . .
PLASTIC . . .
A prune is a vegetable . . . no, a prune is not a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable . . . makes it O.K. PLASTIC PEOPLE . . . PLASTIC PEOPLE, PLASTIC PEOPLE!
Ooo-Hoo-Hoo . . . Ooo-ooh-ooh-ooh Hoo-Hoo
Ooh-ooh Ooh-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo

[Ray:]
You are. Your foot. Your hair. Your nose. Your arms. You eat. You suck. You love. You are. Your being is . . . you’re PLASTIC . . . PEOPLE . . . BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . . plastic pepples . . . [?]
You drive. You live in. You dream about . . . you think only of . . . you eat . . . you are . . . pepples . . . plastic . . . plastic pepples . . .
Purple prancing. Plastic people. Every pepples . . .

Peep-peep Pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-peep!

 

It Can’t Happen Here – Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention

Posted on by Opher

Well obviously it is happening here!

This wasn’t exactly the classic two and a half minute track! For 1966 this was extremely weird.

They are freaking out in Washington DC.

“It Can’t Happen Here”

It can’t happen here
It can’t happen here
I’m telling you, my dear
That it can’t happen here
Because I been checkin’ it out, baby
I checked it out a couple a times

But I’m telling you
It can’t happen here
Oh darling, it’s important that you believe me
(Bop bop bop bop)
That it can’t happen here

Who could imagine that they would freak out somewhere
in Kansas . . .
(Kansas . . . Kansas . . . Kansas . . . Kansas . . . )
(Kansas, Kansas, do-do-dun to-to
Kansas, Kansas, la la la)
(Kansas, Kansas, do-do-dun to-to
Kansas, Kansas)
Who could imagine that they would freak out in Minnesota . . .
(Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi
Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi . . . )
(Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota,
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Mama Minnesota,
Mama Minnesota, Mama Minnesota,
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma Mama Minnesota)
Who could imagine . . .

Who could imagine
That they would freak out in Washington, D.C.
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
(AC/DC do-do-do-dun, AC/DC
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma, AC/DC)
But it can’t happen here
Oh baby, it can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
Oh baby, it can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It can’t happen here
Everybody’s safe and it can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
No freaks for us
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It can’t happen here
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
Everybody’s clean and it can’t happen here
No, no, it won’t happen here
(No, no, it won’t happen here)
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
I’m telling you it can’t
(AC/DC bop-bop-bop)
It won’t happen here
Bop-bop-ditty-bop
(I’m not worried at all, I’m not worried at all)
Ditty-bop-bop-bop
Plastic folks, you know
It won’t happen here
You’re safe, mama
(No no no)
You’re safe, baby
(No no no)
You just cook a tv dinner
(No no no)
And you make it
Bop bop bop
(No no no)
Oh, we’re gonna get a tv dinner and cook it up
(No no no no no no no!)
Oh, get a tv dinner and cook it up
Cook it up
Oh, and it won’t happen here
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in the suburbs!
(No no no no no no no no no no
Man you guys are really safe
Everything’s cool)

I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool

And they thought it couldn’t happen here
(duh duh duh)
They knew it couldn’t happen here
They were so sure it couldn’t happen here
But . . .

Suzy . . .
Yes yes, oh yes-I’ve always felt that
Yes, I agree man, it really makes it . . . yeah . . .
It’s a real THING, man, it really makes it

[FZ:] Suzy, you just got to town, and we’ve been . . . we’ve been very interested in your development
[Suzy:] Forget it!

Hmmmmmmmmm
(It can’t happen here)

Cosmic Debris – Frank Zappa

Posted on by Opher

Well Frank was always excellent at satire. The humour was brilliant and he could such take the piss out of anything from politics, sex and middle America to religion.

Frank always surrounded himself with quality musicians. I sure miss him. I’d love to hear his take on Trump.

The Muffin Men did a great version of this song the other night but I still rate Nick Harper’s as the best.

“Cosmik Debris”

The Mystery Man came over
An’ he said: “I’m outa-site!”
He said, for a nominal service charge,
I could reach nervonna t’nite
If I was ready, willing ‘n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?)
Look here brother,
Don’t you waste your time on me

The Mystery Man got nervous
An’ he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An’ he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An’ a can of foamin’ goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin’ his box won’t do
With the oil of Afro-dytee
An’ the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said:
“You might not believe this, little fella, but it’ll cure your Asthma too!”
An’ I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
Look here brother,
Don’t you waste your time on me
Don’t waste yer time . . .

I’ve got troubles of my own, I said
An’ you can’t help me out
So take your meditations an’ your preparations
An’ ram it up yer snout
“BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!,” he said
An’ held it to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An’ I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper ’round my head
So I’d look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An’ told him he was goin’ to sleep
I robbed his rings
An’ pocket watch
An’ everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn’t even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around,
I said
“The price of meat has just gone up
An’ yer ol’ lady has just gone down . . . ”
Look here brother,
Who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?)
Don’t you know,
You could make more money as a butcher,
So don’t you waste your time on me
(Don’t waste it, don’t waste your time on me . . . )
Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm
SSHONTAY