Cosmic Debris – Frank Zappa

Well Frank was always excellent at satire. The humour was brilliant and he could such take the piss out of anything from politics, sex and middle America to religion.

Frank always surrounded himself with quality musicians. I sure miss him. I’d love to hear his take on Trump.

The Muffin Men did a great version of this song the other night but I still rate Nick Harper’s as the best.

“Cosmik Debris”

The Mystery Man came over
An’ he said: “I’m outa-site!”
He said, for a nominal service charge,
I could reach nervonna t’nite
If I was ready, willing ‘n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?)
Look here brother,
Don’t you waste your time on me

The Mystery Man got nervous
An’ he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An’ he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An’ a can of foamin’ goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin’ his box won’t do
With the oil of Afro-dytee
An’ the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said:
“You might not believe this, little fella, but it’ll cure your Asthma too!”
An’ I said . . .
Look here brother,
Who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
Look here brother,
Don’t you waste your time on me
Don’t waste yer time . . .

I’ve got troubles of my own, I said
An’ you can’t help me out
So take your meditations an’ your preparations
An’ ram it up yer snout
“BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOL!,” he said
An’ held it to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
An’ I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper ’round my head
So I’d look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
An’ told him he was goin’ to sleep
I robbed his rings
An’ pocket watch
An’ everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn’t even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around,
I said
“The price of meat has just gone up
An’ yer ol’ lady has just gone down . . . ”
Look here brother,
Who you jivin’ with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?)
Don’t you know,
You could make more money as a butcher,
So don’t you waste your time on me
(Don’t waste it, don’t waste your time on me . . . )
Ohm shonty, ohm shonty, ohm shonty-ohm

5 thoughts on “Cosmic Debris – Frank Zappa

  1. Frank was a Republican. Have you forgotten his battles in court with these lefty-you-will-do-as-I-says over free speech? Most of his songs took the piss out of lefty Democrats, he hated them.

      1. And he certainly was no Democrat, who he HATED. The Republicans he later LOATHED because of their increased alliance with conservative Christians, but that developed during the 1980’s and was not where he had stood back in the 1960’s.
        It’s easy to see Zappa as a republican-hating leftist, but Zappa wasn’t left-wing at all. He was very much an old-school, genuine fiscal conservative who disliked income tax and proposed a flat sales tax not at all unlike the proposed FairTax. Zappa didn’t see that this was regressive, or if he did, he didn’t care.
        He wouldn’t have liked Trump’s dismissive attitude to cops bashing people’s heads on the car roof as they get bundled in as he had police problems on a “trumped” up charge on porn production in the early 60’s.
        But through and through Frank was a very conservative guy. Hated hippies, hated flakey liberals, hated “alternative lifestyle” people, hated drug people. Hated a lot of people and behaviour associated with the left.
        Frank’s biggest beef was with people that adopt a position of moral and executive superiority and I’ve a sneaking suspicion that you just might be one of them.
        I find it always helps to know a little first before shooting from the hip in the hope that the target is the appropriate target.

      2. Oh Muffin catastrophe now. How weird.
        Frank hated phoniness and arrogance! I don’t think you’d get on at all. You haven’t got near to getting the measure of the man.

  2. Not too sure you’re dead on there Opher.
    Kind of arrogant to remove a comment from someone who knows what they are talking about. How creepy is that…

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