Comeuppance – an extract from ‘Farther from the Sun’.

Was Trevor’s life exciting during those early years of growing up? I don’t remember meeting his family. Would you like to imagine what they were like? Perhaps kind, loving, tactile folk with refined sensitivities? You don’t suppose they beat the shit out of him, do you?

I last met Trevor on Walton High Street when we were both twenty. I was home from college and he was unemployed. All the cockiness had dissipated. He seemed sullen brooding and sad and eager to talk. He seemed pleased to see me and wanted to tell me what he’d been up to.

He told me that a while back he’d emigrated to New Zealand because he couldn’t get a job over here in the UK and he’d heard that there was plenty of work out there. He came back a few months later. He hadn’t liked it. He told me that he’d got into fight after fight and they kept locking him up. According to him, New Zealanders were all a bunch of wankers. They didn’t like the British. I rather suspected that it was more that they didn’t like arrogant and aggressive people.

Terry laughed and told me that he’d come home to where it was civilised. He seemed a lot more chastened at twenty compared to the cocky youth of fifteen that I remembered. Life did not seem to be progressing the way he had imagined it would. It was leaving him morose. His self-esteem had evaporated. He was no longer the big guy. Perhaps it was because he no longer had an audience, or perhaps that, compared to fully-grown adults, he was no longer so awfully big and fearsomely tough? He could no longer intimidate and beat the shit out of anyone who crossed him.

You don’t suppose that Trevor ever battered his kids do you? You don’t suppose that there could be a self-perpetuating cycle of violence? You don’t suppose that all those fights Trevor regularly instigated were the result of people picking on him and giving him funny looks do you? Because he was always the innocent party you know. He never started anything, honest.

Am I stereotyping or reporting? Probably a bit of both.

You don’t suppose that life trained Trevor to be violent and rewarded him with status and attention when he was, do you? Then callously took it all away.

I don’t suppose there’s any too much shit left in Trevor these days. There did not seem to be that last time I met him. He seemed like a beaten man, a balloon with a hole in it.

Life’s a game and it appeared to me that Trevor was one of life’s losers. But was it his fault?

13.10.01

 

My dad taught me to play chess. He always beat me but I kept trying until one day I beat him. From there on we were fairly evenly matched.

Chess gets the brain cells firing. Chess is a game of tactics and stylised war. It is absorbing and complex. If played properly, with the full resources of the intellect and concentration, it is the game of games

But there again, I don’t want to exaggerate its importance too much. It is no substitute for life.

26.10.01

Anecdote – The prig of a prefect

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The Prig of a Prefect

Ours was an ordinary State School yet power goes to the head. The prefects had power and they liked to exert it. They were able to give out lines, essays or even two lashes of the cane as punishments. A group of them thought they were escapees from Tom Brown’s schooldays. They had taken on all the affectations of Public School boys. They thought they were really something. They strutted around the school and even took to wearing little paisley waistcoats.

I thought they were pretentious pillocks and had numerous run-ins with one in particular. He centred me out for special attention. He did not appreciate my hair, the liberties I took with the school uniform or my attitude. There was a mutual dislike.

After one altercation he handed me six pages and demanded that I write out an essay on Newton’s Fourth Law of Thermodynamics. I told him he could stick it up his arse.

It was a dangerous ploy. The bunch of them could turn nasty.

Shortly afterwards he gave me another six page essay on ‘should psychoanalysis be used as evidence in courts?’

He had given me blank paper so I drew a line on each side and wrote in big letters – ‘NO! BUT ALL THOSE IN POSITIONS OF POWER SHOULD BE PSYCHOANALYSED BEFORE BEING PLACED IN THOSE POSITIONS!’

He was furious.

The matter went as far as the Headteacher and my father got involved. He was angry. He thought the essays were inappropriate for a fourteen year old. The Head agreed.

My victory did nothing to improve relationships with the guy.

It all came to a head one day at the milk crates. Everyone, right up until Thatcher put a stop to it, received a third of a pint of milk at break-time. I was standing around with a small group of friend, drinking milk and having a laugh. This particular prefect was on duty and was swanning around with a couple of his henchmen. Some of the kids had thrown their empty bottles in the puddle instead of putting them back in the crates.

There were lots of Year 7, 8 and 9s milling about but he viciously selected me and ordered me to pick up the bottles out of the puddle. I was in Year 19. There was no way I was going to be humiliated by picking up dirty bottles out of a puddle in front of little first years. I told him to get stuffed. He lost his temper and threatened to have me thrashed. I lost it and was right in his face. I explained to him very slowly that if he so much as laid a finger on me I would put him in hospital. Then I stalked away.

It was all that was required. He could see that I meant it. I never had any more trouble with him again.

Since then I’ve seen power mess with a lot of people’s heads. It does strange things to people. Most people cannot handle it. I think it was Tom Paine or it might have been George Washington who said – ‘Most men can handle failure but if you want to see the real character of a man – give him power’. How true.

Here are a few of my books. They are available on Amazon in both paperback and on kindle.

Anecdotes – paperback just £6.95  Kindle – just £1.99 or free on Kindle Unlimited

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anecdotes-Weird-Science-Writing-Ramblings/dp/1519675631/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459501044&sr=1-7&keywords=opher+goodwin

More Anecdotes – paperback just £7.29  Kindle – just £2.12 or free on Kindle Unlimited

http://www.amazon.co.uk/More-Anecdotes-Essays-Beliefs-flotsam/dp/1530770262/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459501044&sr=1-1&keywords=opher+goodwin

My other books are also available. There is some unique to suit most tastes if you like something thought provoking and alternative.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Opher-Goodwin/e/B00MSHUX6Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1459501044&sr=1-2-ent

Anecdote – The johnny hunt

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The johnny hunt

We were only nine years old. We didn’t know the first thing about sex. There wasn’t any internet back then where we could have viewed the whole thing in graphic detail and probably gained an equally confusing and disturbing picture. All we had were various dry definitions in the dictionary. But we certainly were interested. We had a whole repertoire of naughty words. Sex was very exciting.

What we knew we had gleaned from the older boys – so that had to be true!

Jeff, Dave and I used to discuss this exciting topic. Jeff and I had sisters so we knew a little bit more that Dave who only had a younger brother. We knew that boys had willies and girls didn’t. They had fannies. Fannies had a hole in them that babies came out of. We found that very hard to conceive. Even stranger was the idea that boys put their willies in girls fannies and that’s how babies were made.

We knew there had to be more to it than that. It was intriguing and hugely exciting.

We listened in on what the older boys were saying and pieced some more together. Boys squirted stuff out of their willies. That sounded absurd. Boys peed out of their willies. What was this stuff?

Then we found out that some of the older boys had gone on a Johnny hunt and found a number of Johnnies in the woods. This was a missing link. Johnnies were an essential part of this whole sex business. We listened in avidly to the conversations and understood a fraction of it. Of course you could not ask questions of the older boys. That would have shown that you didn’t know and you would have been ridiculed. No. We were boys of the world. We picked up the snippets and worked it out. If a boy and girl wanted to make a baby they had to use a Johnny. The boy would strap this device over his penis and it would enable him to squirt juice. The boys talked a lot about this juice. They had lots of jokes about squirting it that we did not fully understand, though it was extremely rude. The older boys had found Johnnies in the woods. We wanted to find some.

We set off on an expedition. We only had a vague idea what we were looking for. It had to be a tube that the boy put over his willie and straps to hold it on. We’d know when we found one.

Well we spent all day looking where the courting couples went. We knew all of the spots. One of the older boys had bragged about sneaking up and watching a couple actually at it.

Unfortunately we did not find anything that matched the description. There were no tubular objects with straps to be found anywhere in the woods.

Our Johnny hunt was a complete failure. Sex had still to be discovered.

If you are enjoying these little tales from a life and would like to read more then you can purchase them all in my two books of anecdotes.

They are available on Amazon in both paperback and on kindle.

Anecdotes – paperback just £6.95  Kindle – just £1.99 or free on Kindle Unlimited

More Anecdotes – paperback just £7.29  Kindle – just £2.12 or free on Kindle Unlimited

My other books are also available. There is some unique to suit most tastes if you like something thought provoking and alternative.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Opher-Goodwin/e/B00MSHUX6Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1459501044&sr=1-2-ent

Good News – More Anecdotes, Essays, Beliefs and flotsam is unsuppressed!!!

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Createspace have unsuppressed my new book! It is available again on Amazon!

I am a new man! It is great not to suffer suppression!!

Please take the time to check them out.

I’m in these books.

This is my new book of anecdotes:

This is my new book of poems and ramblings:

Government Announcement!!

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The government have contacted me with a plea to make you aware of all my other books. They particularly want me to inform you of my new poetry book release – Codas, Cadence and Clues.

In an attempt to remove the unbearable pressure on the Samaritans they would like me to focus my massive fan-base on the latest release in the hopes that it may tide you over until the suppression of More Anecdotes, Essays, Beliefs and flotsam has been lifted.

Please – do not jump! The book will be available shortly. Please read Codas, Cadence and Clues instead! Or one of my other books. All is not lost. I am still writing. There will be more!

My other books are here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Opher-Goodwin/e/B00MSHUX6Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1457515636&sr=1-2-ent

Thank you and please leave a review.

Good News!!! – More Anecdotes, Essays, Beliefs and flotsam is available on Kindle!

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Now I know that reading it on a kindle and having an electronic copy is not quite the same as holding a real book in your hands and having something to feel, smell and own, but it is the next best thing.

Kindle has not suppressed my book! It is available to download! You can even get it for free on the Kindle Unlimited! (Though don’t do that – please pay the price. I only get a small amount per book sold but it enables me to purchase stale bread every now and again so that I have the energy to type)

All I ask is that you do not take your life because the paperback is being temporarily suppressed. It will be available again shortly!

Satisfy yourself with my extensive back catalogue!

My other books are here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Opher-Goodwin/e/B00MSHUX6Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1457515636&sr=1-2-ent

Thank you and please leave a review.

My new book cover – More Anecdotes, Essay, Beliefs and Flotsam – What do you think?

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This is the cover for my latest book.

The book is a collection of anecdotes and other writing. It is a book to dip into. It is also a companion book to my first book of anecdotes.

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So I thought I would take the same artwork that I had used on the first book and alter the colour.

I think it works and complements the first book. What do you think?

I’m in these books.

Two new books out in paperback – Codas, Cadence and Clues & More Anecdotes, Essay, Beliefs and Flotsam

Both new books now out on Amazon as paperbacks.

Codas, Cadence and clues – £4.97

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More Anecdotes, Essay, Beliefs and Flotsam – £7.87

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I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. Full of passion, thought provocation and stimulation – wit, anger and a window into days long passed.

I’m in these books.

 

Trying for a record – publishing two books on one day!

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It’s a bit of a race against time.

I have been working on both of these books simultaneously.

I have finally completed the third edit on both and managed to get both of them up to publishing standard.

The question is whether they can go through their review and processing in time.

We’ll see.

In the meantime perhaps you would like to take possession of a unique artifact of the 21st Century – a luscious Opher Book – unique in every way. A treasure to adorn your coffee table. A work of art in its own right!

These are a couple of other of my poetry books.

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If you enjoy my poems or anecdotes why not purchase a paperback of anecdotes for £7.25 or a kindle version for free.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anecdotes-Weird-Science-Writing-Ramblings/dp/1519675631/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1457515636&sr=1-3&keywords=opher+goodwin

Or a book of poetry and comment:

Rhyme and Reason – just £3.98 for the paperback or free on Kindle

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rhymes-Reason-Opher-Goodwin/dp/1516991184/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1457515636&sr=1-4&keywords=opher+goodwin

My other books are here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Opher-Goodwin/e/B00MSHUX6Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1457515636&sr=1-2-ent

Thank you and please leave a review.

New book – More Anecdotes, Essays, Beliefs and flotsam – in review

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While I was away on my voyage I wrote three books.

The first was my book of poems I Codas, Cadence and Clues –

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The second was a Sci-fi novel that needs a lot of work before it sees the light of day – if ever.

The third was this book of anecdotes and other writing.

I have been putting a lot of this out on my blog and receiving very good responses. I thought that a number of you might like a second volume of anecdotes from life. This has me in the spotlight.

Some are humorous, some are sad. There’s Rock and Blues, sixties, childhood, love, sex, drugs and everything else.

You’ll find Jimi Hendrix, Son House and Roy Harper.

Extracts from my life.

It’s written with passion.

I have just completed the editing and it is presently in review!

In the meantime content yourself with other morsels of my life and imagination:

Do me an honour and purchase an Opher. There’s nothing like it. They are unique!

Be the first one on your block to come home with an Opher book!

These are a couple of other of my poetry books.

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If you enjoy my poems or anecdotes why not purchase a paperback of anecdotes for £7.25 or a kindle version for free.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anecdotes-Weird-Science-Writing-Ramblings/dp/1519675631/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1457515636&sr=1-3&keywords=opher+goodwin

Or a book of poetry and comment:

Rhyme and Reason – just £3.98 for the paperback or free on Kindle

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rhymes-Reason-Opher-Goodwin/dp/1516991184/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1457515636&sr=1-4&keywords=opher+goodwin

My other books are here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Opher-Goodwin/e/B00MSHUX6Y/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1457515636&sr=1-2-ent

Thank you and please leave a review.