The johnny hunt
We were only nine years old. We didn’t know the first thing about sex. There wasn’t any internet back then where we could have viewed the whole thing in graphic detail and probably gained an equally confusing and disturbing picture. All we had were various dry definitions in the dictionary. But we certainly were interested. We had a whole repertoire of naughty words. Sex was very exciting.
What we knew we had gleaned from the older boys – so that had to be true!
Jeff, Dave and I used to discuss this exciting topic. Jeff and I had sisters so we knew a little bit more that Dave who only had a younger brother. We knew that boys had willies and girls didn’t. They had fannies. Fannies had a hole in them that babies came out of. We found that very hard to conceive. Even stranger was the idea that boys put their willies in girls fannies and that’s how babies were made.
We knew there had to be more to it than that. It was intriguing and hugely exciting.
We listened in on what the older boys were saying and pieced some more together. Boys squirted stuff out of their willies. That sounded absurd. Boys peed out of their willies. What was this stuff?
Then we found out that some of the older boys had gone on a Johnny hunt and found a number of Johnnies in the woods. This was a missing link. Johnnies were an essential part of this whole sex business. We listened in avidly to the conversations and understood a fraction of it. Of course you could not ask questions of the older boys. That would have shown that you didn’t know and you would have been ridiculed. No. We were boys of the world. We picked up the snippets and worked it out. If a boy and girl wanted to make a baby they had to use a Johnny. The boy would strap this device over his penis and it would enable him to squirt juice. The boys talked a lot about this juice. They had lots of jokes about squirting it that we did not fully understand, though it was extremely rude. The older boys had found Johnnies in the woods. We wanted to find some.
We set off on an expedition. We only had a vague idea what we were looking for. It had to be a tube that the boy put over his willie and straps to hold it on. We’d know when we found one.
Well we spent all day looking where the courting couples went. We knew all of the spots. One of the older boys had bragged about sneaking up and watching a couple actually at it.
Unfortunately we did not find anything that matched the description. There were no tubular objects with straps to be found anywhere in the woods.
Our Johnny hunt was a complete failure. Sex had still to be discovered.
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