The New European – A Short Story

The New European – A Short Story

 

Jack White was feeling uneasy. That was highly unusual for him; he was normally ice cool. Something did not feel right. Perhaps it was merely this unusual partnership with MI5? It did not add up. Why weren’t the Brits doing their own dirty work? They had experts who could work with this stuff. Why did the CIA have to get involved? He’d been mulling it over on the train all the way down to Salisbury. He could not figure it out. But one thing Jack knew was that he could not get the feeling out of his head that he was being set up. But he had his orders and it wasn’t his job to deal with the politics.

Towards the end of his journey the agent from Porton Down dropped the package off without problem. It was small but deadly. He had no doubts about it doing the job.

It was the dark haired woman in the black coat that was causing the hair at the back of his neck to bristle. He’d noticed her when boarding the train and something about her demeanour raised his instincts.

 

Reg was so nervous his face was bright red and his hands were shaking. He’d been planning this for weeks. It meant a lot to him. He was really keen on Ivy and he knew that she liked him. They’d been seeing each other for over a month now but this was his first time he was meeting the boys. Reg knew that it was crucial to make an impression. If they took a liking to him it would make all the difference.

Why did things have to go wrong just when you needed them to needed them to go right?

 

Reg, noted the dark haired woman trailing in his wake and set off along the High street, looking relaxed but with every sense straining to pick up every detail. It might be coincidence but he was taking no chances. He slipped into a supermarket and, with practiced skill, shook her off. The sooner he got this job done the better.

He checked his information. The Russian’s daughter had parked in the multi-storey carpark. It was a short distance away. The assumption was that they would be leaving shortly to head for the restaurant. The Russian did not cook. Jack had time.

He entered the carpark and checked; there was no CCTV and the place was deserted. Jack pulled on the surgical gloves, slid a facemask on, and purposefully approached the car. Extracting the small aerosol and deploying it as trained, he squirted the fluid into the car’s air vents. Striding away he slipped the empty canister, gloves and mask into the airtight envelop and sealed the pack. His training was thorough. You could not afford to makes mistakes with anything as dangerous as this. He placed the envelop into a second airtight bag and headed off back to the station. His work was done.

 

Reg simply could not get his car started. He was in a bit of a panic and toyed with a taxi but his teenage son, Bob, came to the rescue and offered him his. It was not quite the image he was hoping for with its fake red fur seat covers and that stupid great Christmas tree air freshener dangling from the mirror; but beggars can’t be choosers. He was late.

Ivy gave him a funny look when he arrived in Bob’s old Fiesta. It was not quite what she was used to. She raised her eyebrows.

‘My car wouldn’t start,’ Reg explained forlornly.

Ivy looked over the faded red paintwork and her eyes settled on the scratches on the bonnet.

‘It’s my son Bob and his Sue,’ Reg told her with a wan smile. ‘He tried to scratch their names on the bonnet,’ He shrugged. ‘Young love.’

Ivy chuckled.

Reg needn’t have worried. The boys didn’t seem to notice. They piled into the back, joking and laughing. By the time they reached McDonald’s, the first port of call on the way to the park, Reg’s nerves had settled. Ivy seemed happy and relaxed and the boys were easy.

They parked up in the carpark, finished up their burgers and fries, and headed off for the boating lake and water chute in good spirits.

 

Jack made his way to the rendezvous in the bookshop and slipped the package to the Porton Down man. Feeling much happier now he headed for the station. Just inside the entrance he caught sight of her. The dark haired woman with the black coat was casually drinking coffee while surreptitiously watching the crowd. Jack faded into the background slipped into the newsagent to observe her for a minute. There was no doubt. His training kicked in. There was no decision to be made. He headed straight to the busses and boarded the first one.

 

The sun was shining and the boys were having a great time, racing each other in the pedalos and running off to the water chute. Reg and Ivy sat drinking coffees and watching. They held hands and smiled happily lost in a warm glow that had welled up inside them. The hours passed.

 

Jack’s training was thorough. He was one of the best. In these circumstances it was essential to do the unexpected. He disembarked at the park. Noting that there was no cameras he strode purposefully into the carpark selecting an unexceptional car as he went. Walking up to it he opened the door with practiced expertise and within seconds had the engine going. It was no real challenge with these old Fiestas. He drove out of the carpark and headed off. Pulling into the first lay-by he used his phone to set up the route. His exit strategy was already thought through. He counted on having at least three hours, probably a lot longer, before the details of the stolen can filtered through to any police cars or vehicle number plate recognition systems. He had time to get to Bristol. He would park the car up in a side street and hope that, when they found it, the police would put it down to just another joy-rider. He had ample time to disappear.

Of course, there were so many things beyond his control. If they had anything about them they would soon track the car down. They would get there. No matter how careful he had been there was bound to be traces left. Nerve gas clings to material. The car would have traces. Jack would be tracked down. By the time that happened he would be long gone – first to Finland, through Russia, then to China before seeking the safe house and being whisked home. That should be enough to confuse the issue. There would be repercussions. He was sure about that.

 

‘Where’s the car?’ The four of them stood aghast, staring at the space where they knew the car had been. Despite that they all looked around the carpark but, of course, no red Ford Fiesta presented itself. It was definitely gone.

‘It’s been stolen,’ Reg articulated the thoughts that had been going around all their heads, with an air of disbelief.

‘HU17 BAC’ Reg said to the young police officer who was assiduously noting everything down. ‘I can’t believe anybody would want to steal it. It’s just an old banger really.’

‘I’m sure it’s just a young joyrider, sir,’ the officer assured him, looking up from his notebook. ‘A few more details if you could, sir.’

‘It’s just an old Red Ford Fiesta,’ Reg explained hesitantly, straining his brain for any other helpful details. ‘It’s not even mine. It’s my son Bob’s.’

The police officer did not seem impressed.

‘It’s got Bob and Sue scratched on the bonnet,’ Reg added eagerly. ‘Though that is not very clear.’ He said doubtfully, realising that this might not be too helpful.

Even so the officer meticulously wrote it down.

‘It’s got red fur seat covers,’ Reg volunteered. ‘And a GB sticker. Bob and Sue went round France in it last summer.

‘I see,’ the officer said, completing his notes

Reg couldn’t think of anything else to add. ‘I hope it hasn’t been used in a robbery or anything?’ His imagination was running riot. Criminals did steal cars to commit crimes.

The officer chuckled reassuringly. ‘Don’t worry sir. I’m sure your car won’t spark any international crisis.’

The Amazing Unbelievable Adventure of Lipher Stoke.

Well this short story was a bit of fun. It had a little bit of bite to it though.

The Amazing Unbelievable Adventure of Lipher Stoke.

 

‘Well Lipher Stoke?’

My mind began to whir horribly. I was desperate. She was going to crucify me this time.

‘It all began on Friday when I was on my way home,’ I began, going for the wide-eyed, innocent look. ‘I had just turned the corner into the cut-through, and there in front of me was this immense orange blob with purple dots. It had four stalks on its head each culminating in a huge eye and six long tentacles waving out of its body. All those four eyes were focussed on me! I turned to run, only to find that there was another similar blob behind me. This one was vivid green with blue squares. In one of its tentacles it held a ray gun. It pointed it at me and I found that I could not move.’

‘They took me off to the playing field where a massive shiny, yellow disc was hovering above the grass. A ramp came down and they took me on board.’

‘There was no sensation of moving but we zoomed up into the sky. Soon the Earth was nothing but a blue fluffy ball receding behind us, while the moon was rushing towards us. Suddenly, outside were all flowing colours and flashes. When the stars reappeared we were heading towards this huge yellow planet.’

‘We landed and I was taken into this big hall and sat on a chair in the middle. All around me were these ranks of multi-coloured aliens all staring at me with their four eyes. It was terrifying. There was every colour you could think off – blues, yellows, reds, oranges, greens, violets and purples all adorned with dots, squares, triangles and stripes of contrasting colours. It made my eyes go funny just to look at them.’

‘Then a huge red alien with yellow circles drew up in front of me. I could tell he was the King.’

‘Lipher Stoke,’ he said inside my head. ‘You have been selected to represent your race. The outcome of this interrogation will determine what becomes of the human race.’

‘Well I was stunned and filled with horror. It felt like my throat had filled with concrete. ‘I’m only fourteen,’ I thought. I was unable to speak. ‘How can I have that responsibility?’’

‘All you have to do is answer our questions truthfully,’ the King said sternly. ‘We shall know if you are lying.’

‘I didn’t have a choice. His voice was icy and I knew he meant it.’

‘Without more ado he launched in.’

‘Is it true that humans are chopping down forests and killing all the animals?’

I tried to think of a suitable answer but there was no way to evade such a blunt question. ‘Yes,’ I replied rather pitifully.

‘Is it true that humans are killing one another with explosions, poison gas and fire?’

‘Well there was simply no way I could deny that either was there? We were. ‘Yes,’ I told the king.’

‘This wasn’t going well. That concrete in my throat was stopping me breathing and my heart was pounding. I kept thinking about what they might do to people on Earth. Hopefully he’d ask me some questions that might show us in better light.’

He didn’t.

‘Is it true that humans are pumping out chemicals from their factories that are polluting the land, sea and air and poisoning the environment?’

‘Well yes we were so I had to answer honestly’ – ‘Yes’.

‘Is it true that humans hate each other because of their colour?’

I looked around at all the gaudily coloured aliens ranked around me and I just knew this was not going to be popular. ‘Only some,’ I protested, trying hard to prevaricate. ‘Only some stupid humans. Most people don’t. They don’t mind what colour a person is. It’s only the stupid ones who feel that way.’

‘I could see all the eye-stalks bobbing but at least I was making some defence of humans.

‘Even so, it is true that many hate each other merely because of their colour? the King persisted.’

‘Well, yes, I suppose so,’ I finally agreed peevishly. ‘But only some!’

‘The king looked around at the throng and waved his eye stalks. They all waved their eye-stalks back at him.’

‘Is it true that humans organise their societies so that a few live in complete luxury while many millions starve and live in misery?’

Well I found my mind considering all those multimillionaires with their yachts and penthouses while the poor kids from the slums were picking through garbage and playing in the sewage. I couldn’t help myself. I knew they were all seeing it in my mind too.

‘I suppose so,’ I acknowledged.

‘I was beginning to see what a jaundiced view these aliens had of us. They thought we were not a very nice race, and to be honest, I was finding it very hard to defend us.’

‘There was something about the King that was beginning to look smug. Though how you can tell that about a blob I don’t know.’

‘Is it true that humans elect leaders who only look after themselves and their friends? Who promote war and conflict? Who supervise a system that creates this division and destruction?’ His voice boomed in my head.’

‘But we don’t have much choice,’ I protested. ‘The people they put up for us to vote for are pretty much as bad as each other.’

‘But you still all vote and support such corrupt people?’ The King persisted cunningly.’

‘But what can we do about it? It runs on money – mega cash. We haven’t got a say.’

‘The King took a long look around and waved his eye-stalks.’

‘I could feel all those eyes on me. I knew we were lost. Even I was beginning to believe that the world would be better off without us.’

‘Finally the King turned back to me. ‘Is there anything you would like to put forward in your defence?’

‘Well I had a right panic, I can tell you. My mind had a moment of blankness. The whole future of the human race depended on me coming up with something good. All these positive things raced through my head. I wanted to tell him that most people weren’t mean and nasty. Most people were kind and helpful. They helped each other and they tried to look after the environment too! They did care for animals! They weren’t hate-filled, cruel, greedy and selfish. And I wanted to tell him about all the creative things we do – the music, art, dance, great stories and the architecture too! I wanted to tell him about love and beauty but I just couldn’t find the words. I stood there looking stupid. All those great things had rushed through and were gone.’

‘Look,’ I said, nodding to all the ranks of aliens. ‘I know we’ve done some terrible things. We’ve made some terrible mistakes. We’ve acted stupidly.’ I paused and nodded sadly. ‘We’ve been remarkably greedy and selfish. But…..’ I looked round at them imploringly, ‘we’re just starting out. We just need a chance. We are learning. And we are getting better. I’m sorry. I truly am. But please give us one chance to make amends…….. Please!’

‘The room was silent. I felt like they were all probing my mind. Then they all seemed to come to a decision and began to disperse. The king floated away and I was left alone with my escort.’

‘I was taken back to the flying saucer and dropped off back at the playing field.’

I could feel Miss McLoughlan’s beady scornful eyes glaring at me. She was not impressed.

‘And that is why I haven’t had time to do my homework or hand my book in,’ I finished lamely.

What if? – An Alternative Possibility.

What if?

 

‘I’ve got us a gig on Saturday in Manchester,’ John informed them.

Nobody seemed that impressed.

‘How much does it pay?’ Pete asked.

‘Fifty quid,’ John said.

The atmosphere in the rehearsal room was pretty gloomy. Fifty quid hardly went anywhere in 1966. Once you’d put petrol in the van, bought a bag of chips and a pint you were left with ten quid each.

‘We were lucky to get that, lads,’ John said, trying his best to raise the spirits. ‘All the clubs are shutting down. Bloody cavern shut down last week.’

If he’d intended to raise them up he was failing badly.

‘Where are we going lads?’ he asked cheerily, attempting to urge them into their mantra of optimism. There was no ‘To the Toppermost of the Toppermost’ refrain. Nowadays they were just hanging in there rather than looking to break through.

‘Feels like the bottommost of the bottommost to me,’ Paul observed.

‘I’m thinking of packing it in,’ George said gloomily. ‘My Dad said he can get me a job as a cashier in the bank.’

Nobody said anything. They’d all been down that road. Doing casual labour to make ends meet was no fun. They could sense that the thing was falling apart. The energy had gone and audience sizes were dwindling. Nobody was interested any more. It had had its day. Perhaps it was time for them all to call it a day?

‘Who we on with?’ Paul asked.

‘The Rolling Stones again,’ John said.

‘They still doing that Blues stuff?’ Paul asked, plugging in his bass.

‘Yeah, Brian has it down to a t’ John said, ‘though they’ve not been the same since Mick left.’

‘I’ve heard he’s going into law,’ George reflected, plugging his guitar in.

‘Ha,’ John smirked. ‘I can just see him as a solicitor. He’ll be a judge before he’s through.’

‘Rory’s bunch have broken up,’ Paul remarked. ‘Ringo’s got a job as a redcoat at Butlins.’

‘The hurricane’s blown out then,’ John observed with a narrowing of the eyes. ‘I bet Ringo’ll go down a storm.’ He laughed mockingly.

‘Well at least he’s bringing in a pay packet,’ George pointed out.

‘Let’s get down to playing some Rock ‘n’ Roll,’ John suggested as an antidote to the gloom.

‘Why don’t we try something different,’ Paul suggested. ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll is old hat. Have you seen the charts? Cliff is number one again and Bobby Vee and Bobby Rydell are racing up. They’re all doing ballads. Charts are just full of American pop and ballads. We could try doing something a bit more poppy.’

‘I’m not doing any of that American shyte,’ John asserted firmly. ‘I hate that pop crap – all flashing teeth and Italian suits. I hate that lightweight rubbish. Give me good old Rock ‘n’ Roll any day. I don’t care what’s in the charts. They’re all shyte.’

‘Even Elvis is doing pop stuff,’ Paul reminded him. ‘All this leather gear is out. We’ve become boring old dinosaurs. Nobody’s interested any more. It’s all old fashioned. Teddy boys are a thing of the past.’

John glared at him myopically through slitted eyes. ‘I’m not playing pop shyte.’

Pete sat behind his drum kit and looked on. It was always like this. He never said much at the best of times. Now that his good looks were fast fading, as the beer was bloating him up, he was losing his popularity with the girls and in great danger of being kicked out of the band. Not that he was that bothered any more. None of them were very popular with the girls these days. Things had moved on. The days of screaming girls were long past.

‘We could try doing some of our own or doing more standards. They always go down well.’

‘We’ve been down that road,’ John said belligerently. ‘All that One After 909 and Love Me Do crap. Nobody was interested. It was crap. We’re never going to be as good as Buddy Holly or Chuck Berry, why bother?’ He glowered at Paul. ‘No. Let’s just stick to what we’re good at and play Rock ‘n’ Roll.’

Paul shrugged.

‘Perhaps we should have done what Brian wanted us to do?’ George suggested.

‘What?’ John turned on him angrily. ‘Had our hair cut and worn poncey suits? Played liked Bobby Vee?’

‘He offered to manage us,’ George insisted. ‘He said he could get us an audition with Decca.’

Pete did a drum roll.

‘Like hell he could,’ John sneered. ‘What did that posh git know about anything? He couldn’t even run a record shop properly. What did that smarmy ponce know about the music business?’

‘He said that if we smartened up and played the game he could have got us lots of gigs and an audition,’ George persisted.

‘Yeah,’ John scoffed, ‘and Decca would have signed us up and we’d conquer America and be bigger than Elvis. Yeah, poncey Brian Epstein would have done that, wouldn’t he? Who gives a fuck about British Rock anyway? Even Cliff couldn’t break America. They will never give a damn about the Brits. That’s a waste of time.’

‘Well, if you hadn’t laid him out,’ George suggested, ‘he might have managed us and we might have had a chance?’

Jack Kerouac Quotes – A man who saw an lternative way of living.

When I read On the Road and Dharma Bums when I was seventeen they altered my life. I saw something more worthwhile than the pursuit of money and power, I saw an alternative way of living that was more mad, vital and alive. It was the crazy excitement of Jazz, poetry and Zen – that was seeking kicks and enlightenment – that wanted something more than security and boredom. I knew there had to be more – be more spontaneity – be more excitement – be more meaning. I wanted to live – the colours to be vivid – to find out what life was about – and to have no limits!

41e79xd-x7l-_ac_us160_

I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
Well that’s a beginning. To be confused about the stupidity of this society is a start. If you are confused by what you see around you then you can either ignore it and carry on or try to figure out a better way of doing things.
Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.
It is the pioneers with an alternative vision who are the real inventors – the crazy people who won’t listen to reason and follow the crowd.
My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.
Passions are the essence of life but they can be so destructive too.
Maybe that’s what life is… a wink of the eye and winking stars.
We are a flash in eternity. Our lives are over far too soon – I’m hardly getting started!
All human beings are also dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together.
We dream of better futures – more fun, more love, more freedom, more understanding and a better world.
I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only live in others but give them life, and not only life, but that great consciousness of life.
I believe our lives send out ripples through the world around us. All the people around us are affected. They in turn affect everyone around them. We need a tsunami of compassion.
All of life is a foreign country.
Understanding it is crucial. We don’t even speak the same language. We journey through life getting our kicks and seeking truth.

John Steinbeck Quotes – Someone who wrote about the plight of poor people.

Reading ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ and ‘East of Eden’ had a profound effect on me. I have recently read Tortilla Flat and thoroughly enjoyed it. He writes with such candour. The writing about the plight of the Dust Bowl refugees and their exploitation was an eye-opener.

IMG_6536

If you’re in trouble, or hurt or need – go to the poor people. They’re the only ones that’ll help – the only ones.
That’s been my experience too. I’ve lived in poor areas of London and Hull and have been exceedingly poor myself. You always can count on people to give you a helping hand if you need it.
No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself.
What assumptions we make? Every one of us is different. Who can know what somebody else has been through or feels like? Who knows what their consciousness is like?
No one wants advice – only corroboration.
We all think we are right – but we can’t all be right. I enjoy having an argument as long as it doesn’t get too personal and abusive. It keeps the brain sharp. I have even been known to change my mind!
The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.
So difficult when you are writing a book that requires so many hours of concentration and belief. Decades of lack of success tend to dent your belief. But I’m still writing and my books are brilliant!
It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.
 The subconscious is far better than the conscious for solving problems. It just needs a bit of time.

Lawrence Durrell – Justine – some thoughts

My second literary event in the space of a few hours was to finish my reading of Lawrence Durrell’s book Justine – the first book of his Alexandria Quartet.

I bought the book back in 1969 and it has been sitting on my shelf ever since. It was one of those books that I was attracted to and yet thought it might be stodgy and old-fashioned.

I am a great fan of Gerald Durrell and loved all his books – particularly the Corfu trilogy. I adored his light humorous style. In that book he gives a pen-picture of his two brothers, mother and sister. Lawrence comes out as a bit of an arrogant prig, a bit up his own backside with lots of pretentions to literary genius.

I found that I was automatically thinking of the name Durrell differently in pronunciation for the two men. With Lawrence it came out as a more affected French sounding, refined Du Rell rather that the more common Durrell of Gerald. But that was just me.

I enjoyed the book and its picture of Alexandria. It was rather old-fashioned and it did take me a while to read. I found I could only do it in small chunks. But it was colourful. It left me with three abiding impressions:

  • One the vacuousness of life with its preoccupation with love affairs and sex
  • The casual elitism and racism that the white elite should exist at a totally different, rarified, level to the native Alexandrians
  • The casual attitude to the suffering and cruelty meted out to wild-life – the mass slaughter of the ducks and geese on the lake and the description of how boats used live tortoises for ballast. They were easier to collect that rocks. They put thousands of them in barrels in the bilge alive – and dumped the putrefying bodies into the sea when they the arrived in port – there were plenty more where they came from.

I think future generations (if there are any) will look back in horror at the cavalier way in which we have cruelly treated living creatures. We will be viewed as barbarians.

This is a book that I will go back to read again. I think I need to absorb more that one can glean from one reading.

Margaret Atwood in York! New book Hagseed! One of the world’s greatest writers!

Well I had quite a literary day yesterday and this morning. I went to see Margaret Atwood talk about her new book Hagseed (a reworking of the Tempest – she calls it a reimagining.).

I don’t write this as a review so much as an homage.

I rate Margaret as one of the greatest living writers (along with the likes of Iain McEwan, Haruki Murakami, Salman Rushdie and Kasuo Ishiguro) so it was a rare opportunity to see and hear a living legend.

She talked about the new book and the themes that were in it and urged us to watch the Helen Mirren film of the Tempest before reading the book – which I shall do.

She talked briefly about The Handmaid’s Tale and the way fundamentalists only want to ban the things people want to do. In this age of religious madness (hopefully its death-throes) I think it should be compulsory reading – if only to see the misogyny in religion.

She also talked about the death of the oceans, from which between 60% and 80% of all the world’s oxygen is made, and that the rich were probably at this minute constructing their underground homes with oxygen making facilities and looking forward to being rid of us all. (There’s a book in that!).

I shall watch the film and then read the book. It was a pleasure seeing a living legend.

p1140537

The graphics before the show were great. The words from Hagseed were used as figures walked through them or they squiggled about. p1140538 p1140540 p1140541 p1140542

Margaret was lucid and delightful.

p1140543 p1140544p1140545

New novel – Danny’s Story – Chapter 2 – any suggestions?

IMG_0556

At this first draft stage I need a bit of help. If anybody has any suggestions about style or content that would be helpful.

What do you think?

Chapter 2 – Refuge from the storm

The moment that Danny set eyes on the place he knew that it was ideal. He stood outside of 301 Green Lanes looking up at the decaying brickwork of the old house with its peeling paint and rambling rooms and knew it was exactly what he required. It was the type of place he could get lost in. He could crawl away from the world and lick his wounds. It looked battered and dilapidated and in need of a lot of love. But it also looked cosy.

Suzie pointed out the two little windows on the fourth floor with their flaking green and cream paint.

‘That one’s the bedroom,’ she enthused, ‘and that one is the living room.’

Danny was not really listening. He was enthralled. This was heaven.

Suzie took his hand and led him up the flight of steps to the front door. Danny allowed himself to be led as if in a dream. He took everything in though. The steps leading down to the basement flat, the freshly painted bright red front door with its array of doorbells, each with a name scribbled in biro next to it. Danny noted Suzie and Charlotte were there at number eight on the fourth floor.

‘Here’s the phone,’ Suzie said, indicating a black phone in a small booth in the hallway. ‘If someone phones for you, or calls at the door, Mr Rose will ring the doorbell. As we’re on the fourth floor it’s four times for us.

Danny frowned in wonder at the thought of the landlord actually answering the phone and summoning people. It seemed a duty far in excess of his role.

They clattered down the passage giggling and laughing like lovers. Suzy dragged him up the four flights of stairs, pointing out the shared bathroom and rattling off names for all the people behind the doors that went in one ear and out the other. Danny allowed himself to be pulled along and even caught up in Suzie’s high spirits. Already he could feel his mood soaring.

They reached the flat and Suzie turned the key, pushed the door open, and then handed the key to Danny and stood aside to let him through.

Danny found himself standing in the small passage that served as a kitchen. There was a small stove at one end with a narrow cupboard to the side of it, a sink with two taps, one of which was dripping, and a small shelf with nails sticking out to hang mugs. The flooring was some swirly green lino and the walls drab patterned wallpaper. He pushed the door open into the living room. There were two old dark green armchairs with wooden arms, a motheaten sofa, a telly in the corner balanced on a painted chest of drawers, a carpet of indecipherable colour and walls that seemed to be covered with orange patterns, which turned out to be just faded and aged watermarks on a beige textured wallpaper. The recess had the window they had seen from the courtyard. It had a single frame with four small panes and was so dirty it hardly let any light in. Danny stepped back and took two steps down the passage to push open the other door, the door to the bedroom. There was a built in wardrobe and double bed and the twin of recess and window.

All Suzie and Charlotte had done in the way of decoration was to stick up a bunch of posters round the place to try to brighten it up. Danny looked at the pictures of the Osmonds, Sweet and T Rex and made a mental note not to talk music with Suzie.

The place felt cold and dank with a rather unpleasant odour.

Suzie ushered him back into the living room and into a seat. She flicked on two bars of the electric fire in the hearth and then bustled off into the ‘kitchen’.

‘It’ll soon warm up,’ she called. ‘I’ll rustle up some tea.’

She went out the front door to the hall where the small fridge sat on the landing. There wasn’t room for it inside. ‘You’ll have to have it black I’m afraid,’ she called. ‘You can have all the furniture. Most of it was here when we came anyway.’

Danny looked round at the furniture he had inherited.

Suzie babbled away from the kitchen as Danny sat and tried to take it in. Eventually he heard the sound of the kettle trilling and then the clink of stirring.

Suzie came in with a big beam and two mugs of black coffee.

‘No tea,’ Suzie informed him. ‘I’ve done coffee.’

‘Coffee’s fine,’ Danny responded with an attempt at a smile. He was finding it hard to think of Suzie and Charlotte living in this place.

‘Peter Noone from Herman’s Hermits used to live here,’ Suzie enthused.

Somehow that did not add to the cache of the place in Danny’s eyes. But it did not detract either. He’d put his hold-all in the corner and had already moved in. As Suzie babbled on about the meter for the gas and keeping a store of shillings, about the neighbours, Mr Rose and something about the garden, Danny’s mind was already making plans. He sipped his sweet black coffee and tried to keep focussed on Suzie so that he nodded in the right places.

Danny already felt at home.

Books I have read since retiring – update

I like to keep my reading quite far ranging. I’ve been writing so much recently that I have not had too much time for reading. But I’ve got into a few good ones.

Books I have read since retiring Sept 2011

1.Just Kids Patti Smith
2. Wolf Hall Hilary Mantel
3. Norwegian Wood Haruki Murakami
4. Kafka on the Shore Haruki Murakami
5. Maggie Girl of the Streets Stephen Crane
6. Great Singers of the 2oth Century David Spiller
7. East of Eden John Steinbeck
8. God is not Great Christopher Hitchins
9. The Alchemist Paulo Coelho
10. Full Dark No Stars Stephen King
11. 3 Cups of Tea Greg Mortenson & David Relin
12. Birdie Kurt Vonnegut
13. 11.22.63 Stephen King
14. IQ84 – Book 1 Haruki Murakami
15. IQ84 – Book 2 Haruki Murakami
16. IQ84 – Book 3 Haruki Murakami
17. Good Man Jesus scoundrel Christ Philip Pullman
18. After dark Haruki Murakami
19. After the quake Haruki Murakami
20. Long walk to forever Kurt Vonnegut
21. The Optimist Lawrence Shorter
22. The Atheist’s Bible Joan Konner
23. The portable Atheist Christopher Hitchins
24. The vanishing elephant Haruki Murakami
25. Salmonella men on planet porno Yasutaka Tsutsui
26. The Chrysalids John Wyndham
27. Heart of Darkness Joseph Conrad
28. A long way down Nick Hornby
29. Blind willow, sleeping woman Haruki Murakami
30. My dear I wanted to tell you Louisa Young
31. Grimus Salman Rushdie
32. South of the border West of the sun Haruki Murakami
33. The Return Victoria Hislop
34. Stonemouth Iain Banks
35. The girl at the Lion D’Or Sebastian Faulks
36. The Long Song Andrea Levy
37. Underground Haruki Murakami
38. My Family and other animals Gerald Durrell
39. One Flew over the Cuckoos nest Ken Kessey
40. Hard boiled Wonderland and the end of the world Haruki Murakami
41. Red Gary Neville
42. The colour of Magic Terry Pratchett
43. The light fantastic Terry Pratchett
44. Dance Dance dance Haruki Murakami
45. Portnoy’s complaint Philip Roth
46. The lost Symbol Dan Brown
47. Guards Guards Terry Pratchett
48. What I talk about when I talk about running Haruki Murakami
49. A Maggot John Fowles
50. Who I am Pete Townsend
51. The story of Free & Bad Company Steven Rosen
52. Sputnik Sweetheart Haruki Murakami
53. Mr Stone and the knights companion V S Naipal
54. The immortal life of Henrietta Lacks Rebecca Skloot
55. Mister God, I am Anna Finn
56. The Birthday book Haruki Murakami
57. A precocious autobiography Yevgeny Yevtushenko
58. The wind-up bird chronicles Haruki Murakami
59. Siddharta Herman Hesse
60. Hydrogen Sonatta Iain M Banks
61. The bonesetters daughter Joy Tan
62. Keep the Asphidistr flying George Orwell
63. Birds, animals and friends Gerald Durrell
64. Garden of the Gods Gerald Durrell
65. Andy Warhol Diaries Andy Warhol
66. First born Arthur C Clarke
67. Sweettooth Ian McEwan
68. Arguably Christopher Hitchins
69. Bring up the bodies Hilary Mantell
70. Equal Rites Terry Pratchett
71. Mort Terry Pratchett
72. Cutting for stone Aham Verghese
73. Sourcery Terry Pratchett
74. The particular sadness of lemon cake Aimee Bender
75. The dovekeepers Alice Hoffman
76. The Ginger Man J P Donleavy
77. The great Gatsby F Scott Fitzgerald
78. Dharma bums Jack Kerouac
79. For whom the bell tolls Ernest Hemmingway
80. A wild sheep chase Haruki Murakami
81. Fug you Ed Sanders
82. A hat full of sky Terry Pratchett
83. Ring world Larry Niven
84. Wintersmith Terry Pratchett
85. The Quarry Iain Banks
86. Stoner John Williams
87. Blowing the Blues Dick Heckstall-Smith
88. The heart of things A C Grayling
89. Things the Grandchildren should know Mark Oliver Everett
90. Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck
91. The Comfort of Strangers Ian McEwan
92. The Trial Franz Kafka
93. Tarantula Bob Dylan
94. Bound for glory Woody Guthrie
95. Flaubert’s parrot Julian Barnes
96. Talking it over Julian Barnes
97. Raw spirit Iain Banks
98. The favourite game Leonard Cohen
99. Beautiful losers Leonard Cohen
100. Corrections Jonathan Frantzen
101. The Stranger Albert Camus
102. The three Musketeers Alexander Dumas
103. After the flood Margaret Atwood
104. Hellraiser Ginger Baker
105. A Casual Vacancy JK Rowling
106. Wind through the Keyhole Stephen King
107. The Ragged Trousered Philantropists Robert Tressell
108. Maddadam Margaret Atwood`
109. Ringworld Engineers Larry Niven
110. The sense of an ending Julian Barnes
111. Ringworld children Larry Niven
112. Breakfast of champions Kurt Vonnegut
113. The blind assassin Margaret Atwood
114. The Midwich Cuckoos John Wyndham
115. The Rights of Man Thomas Paine
116. Wyrd Sisters Terry Pratchett
117. Juliet Naked Nick Hornby
118. Confessions of a crap artist Philip K Dick
119. Doctor Sleep Stephen King
120. White Rooms & imaginary Westerns Pete Brown
121. Moral disorder Margaret Atwood
122. The hare with amber eyes Edmund de Waal
123. Apocalypse D H Lawrence
124. The Cosmological eye Henry Miller
125. The last continent Terry Pratchett
126. Thud Terry Pratchett
127. A tale for the time being Ruth Ozeki
128. Survivor Chum Mey
129. Falling leaves Adeline Yen Mah
130. Catch 22 Joseph Heller
131. Go Now Richard Hell
132. Bluebeard’s egg Margaret Atwood
133. Life before man Margaret Atwood
134. Life after life Kate Atkinson
135. The Who & the story of Tommy Nigel Cawthorne
136. Mr Mercedes Stephen King
137. Umbrella Will Self
138. The Eyre Affair Jasper Fforde
139. The Children’s act Ian McEwan
140. The Magic of Reality Richard Dawkins
141. The Shack Wm Paul Young
142. The last interview Kurt Vonnegutt
143. Strong motion Jonathan Franzen
144. Soul Music Terry Pratchett
145. The sun also rises Ernest Hemingway
146. The Woman who died a lot Jasper Fforde
147. Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki Haruki Murakami
148. On the Road – original scroll Jack Kerouac
149. Discomfort zone Jonathan Frantzen
150. The Establishment and how they get away with it Owen Jones
151. The Kill List Frederick Forsythe
152. The Song of the Quarkbeast Jasper Fforde
153. One of our Thursdays is missing Jasper Fforde
154. No Matter What Sally Donovan
155. The story of my heart Richard Jefferies
156. Time must have a stop Aldous Huxley
157. Immortal coils Kurt Vonnegut
158. Chavs Owen Jones
159. Revival Stephen King
160. In God I doubt John Humphrys
161. Phil Ochs Death of a rebel Marc Elliott
162. In Watermelon Sugar Richard Brautigan
163. Blues for Mr Charlie James Baldwin
164. Stone Mattress Margaret Atwood
165. The Music of Captain Beefheart Chris Wade
166. Something rotten Jasper Fforde
167. From Here to Infinity – Scientific Horizons Martin Rees
168.  Laughter and forgetting Milan Kundera
169. Saturday Night & Sunday Morning Alan Sillitoe
170. Black dogs Ian McEwan
171. This Boy Alan Johnson
172. Please Mr Postman Alan Johnson
173. If this isn’t nice what is? Kurt Vonnegut Jnr
174. Lunar Notes Zoot Horn Rollo
175. The Martian Andy Weir

Kurt Vonnegut Jnr on Humanism – from ‘If this isn’t nice, what is?

IMG_5965

Kurt had a light way with words that struck my funny bone. This is a short extract:

‘I am incidentally, honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great science-fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that utterly functionless capacity. We Humanists behave as honorably as we can without any expectation of rewards or punishments in an afterlife. We serve as best we can the only abstraction with which we have any real familiarity, which is our community.

We had a memorial service for Asimov a while back, and at one point I said ‘Isaac is up there in Heaven now.’ That was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of Humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored,

If I should die, again God forbid, I hope some of you will say ‘Kurt’s up there in Heaven now.’

That’s my favourite joke.’

Go buy the book – you’ll love it.