Amusing Photos to take your mind off whatever it is.

Some of these made me laugh. Thanks Graham!

Tommy Cooper Quotes – An hilarious man – not so much quotes as jokes.

Some people have such a personality that they are larger than Life. Tommy Cooper was like that for me. I only had to see him and the tears would be rolling down my cheeks. It wasn’t just the jokes, it was his persona, his facial expressions and the way he did it. There was an absurdity to him, a vulnerability and a pathetic appeal.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
I can visualise him saying it.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’
 That bewildered expression.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ’Can you give me a lift?’ I said ’Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.’
The fez on the head.
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet – it was a marriage of convenience!
I was watching the live television show where he collapsed and died. He went out to a standing ovation. Can’t get better than that.

6 Crazy Kids but the last one is the best

I loved this post from Shoaib. It is wonderful what kids come out with and these are classic.

Day 11 – a bit of levity

More great funnies from Raili!

Quotes – Dan Quayle – some utterances that leave you breathless.

The scary thing about someone like Dan Quayle is to think that this awesome intellect actually rose to become the second most powerful person in the world and, if there had been an accident or a stroke of ill health, could have had his finger on the nuclear button.

The other observation I would make is that the most hilarious things to come out of a person’s mouth are when an idiot speaks and is not trying to be funny at all.

This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It’s the other way around. They never vote for us.

It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure.

Bank failures are caused by depositors who don’t deposit enough money to cover losses due to mismanagement.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

He certainly made me chuckle. He also made me even more aware that these people are put up there as puppets. The real power lies behind the throne. There are unseen people pulling the strings. They don’t want leaders who are too bright.

Even more quotes – Robin Williams

This is something I believe. I don’t go along with the ones who say there is nothing we can do – there’s no point in trying. I don’t believe that. It is always worth trying right up until you roll over dead. What else is there? You try your hardest to put things right. That’s why I write and blog! If I was younger I’d be out with Greenpeace!

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills – no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

I miss him too! What a sad end to someone so full of life.

More Quotes – Groucho Marx – Rapier wit and hilarious views

Groucho Marx had a way of saying things that made you laugh and yet at the same time it said something pertinent.

Here’s a few of my favourite. I particularly like the politics one – it sums it up for me. Politicians poke their nose into things they know nothing about, pontificate, pass legislation and mess things up. There are many areas – like education – that they should keep their ignorant, dogma-filled, noses out of.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

The Whorehouse and the Church.

This interesting case was sent through to me from an old school-friend who now resides in Australia. I thought it was hilarious so I’m sharing it with you.
Thanks Graham!
What an interesting turn of events in Pahrump, Nevada..
 
Diamond D’s brothel began construction on an expansion of their building
to increase their ever-growing business.

In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the
business from expanding — with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer
sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D’s progressed right up until the week before the
grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to
the ground!

After the brothel burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the
church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about “the
power of prayer.”

But late last week ‘Big Jugs’ Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the
church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that
the church … “was ultimately responsible for the demise of her
building and her business — either through direct or indirect divine
actions or means.”

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously
denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building’s
demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff’s complaint and the
defendant’s reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, “I don’t
know how the hell I’m going to decide this case, but it appears from
the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly
believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation
that thinks it’s all bullshit

Humour – Viagra

 

A friend in Australia sent me this – so I blame it on Graham!

This is a medical warning!!!

Please take heed!!

big-nose

Comedy Relief

Raili really gave my day a kickstart. Made me laugh. Nip over and have a look at her site. There’s lots on offer.