Tim Martin was rabid about Brexit. Now he’s complaining. I say Ho Ho. He can’t get the staff who want to work on such low pay and bad conditions.
He used immigrant works. Now he can’t get them. Ho Ho.
I hope the ignorant tossers business goes under!!
Tim Martin Whining About Brexit Again – YouTube
I wrote this back when May was PM and the hardened Brexiteers were pressing for a Hard Brexit. We have that hard brexit. They won. Now we are counting the cost.
Mrs May What Are You Doing Today?
‘Well Mrs May, what are you doing today?’
‘Whatever they tell me’ I heard Mrs May say.
‘That nice Mr Mogg and Mr Fox too, they’re always telling me just what to do.’
‘We’re pulling up the drawbridge and sailing away.’
‘Why Mrs May, why are we sailing away?’
‘To be free of the foreigners making the rules
And to have more money for our nurses and schools.’
‘We’re sailing away to have better say.’
‘Is that all, Mrs May? The only reason for sailing away?’
‘No that’s not all – it surely is not!
From terrorists and immigrants we want to get shot!
They’re blowing up places and taking our jobs
The whole country’s swarming with unwanted yobs.
We’ll send them all home and away from the fray.’
‘But what Mrs May, will happen to those who now stay?
Who work in our schools and hospitals too?
Who take all our elderly off to the loo?
And help our children on with their shoe?
Who’ll wipe the bums and tickle the tums?
Who’ll toil in the fields for pickles and plums?
Who’ll do the jobs when our own folks don’t want to play?
Mrs May, got all hoighty and just looked away.
‘We’ll make them all work by cutting the pay
Of the ones on social who are scrounging indoors
With their hundreds of kids and lousy in-laws,
The crooks and pretenders with bodies so sore.
We’ll give them all a real what’s for!
We’ll make them all work the gig economy
And steer the whole country back to the land of the free.
That’s how we’ll deal with those who won’t play!’
‘But how Mrs May, will our leaving pay
When the economy shrinks and power ebbs away?’
‘Mr Davis tells me we’ll be bigger than big.
We’ll have so much money we’ll eat like a pig.
We won’t need to fear when we get our own way.’
‘But Mrs May, they’ll be tariffs to pay!
The economy will dive and the future looks grey.’
‘No silly boy! Boris says it’s not true!
‘They’ll be plenty to gorge on with new trade deals too!’
We’ll be fighting them off once we’ve broken away!’
‘But Mrs May, the experts all say
That the future looks grim – there’ll be hell to pay!’
‘Fake news, says old Govey, in him I’ll trust.
They’re giving me the power for which I still lust.
They surely wouldn’t let it all crumble to dust –
Once we’re gone we’ll be rolling in hay.’
So when Mrs May, does the trigger come to play?
What will come to pass on that uncertain day?
‘Well the button is pushed and we’re going ahead
Into the valley with cannonball and lead
Staying behind we’d be better off dead,
With them holding a loaded gun to our head.
So 30th of January two thousand eighteen,
The whole country will see that I mean what I mean!’
‘So Mrs May, who are these people leading the way?’
‘They are the nicest of people – all British – OK?
They want our country to be great once again
With fortunes to be made and much wealth to gain
We’ll be ruling the waves of that, we’re certain.
With bulldog spirit and Dunkirk holding sway.
We won’t let Johnny Foreigner get in our way.’
‘So Mrs May, does the future look gay?’
She gave me a look that’d frighten zombies away!
‘Do we need a second vote to be sure?
Now that we know what is really the score?
Let the people decide before we do any more?’
Her piercing eyes turned living flesh to grey.
‘Brexit means Brexit!’ I heard Mrs May say.
‘They’ve already voted and we’re heading away!
Once is enough for that sort of stuff.
The people have spoken, even if it is tough,
We’ll just have to learn to take the smooth with the rough.
No more of this nonsense, not a glimmer or ray!’
But Mrs May, who is going to pay
When it all goes tits up and the banks flee away?
‘Don’t be silly dear boy it’ll be tickety boo.
Boris and Govey will see it all through.
With Foxy and Hunt what could possibly go wrong?
We’ll be getting trade deals for a dance and a song.
They’ll be juicy deals to hook and waylay.
Leave the whole thing up to Davis and May.’
Opher – 9.2.2018
I wrote this for a bit of fun. I think it’s a balanced view, don’t you? The utter mess of Brexit has to be seen to be believed. These people are in charge of our future. We’d be better with a bunch of clowns. It’s a bit like a ham-fisted comedy.
We were told it was going to be a glorious future. We would save billions! The NHS would finally be funded properly!
The EU was holding us back from lucrative deals with the rest of the world!
We threw out decades of cooperation and friendship.
We were told about wonderful ready-made deals, world-beating futures and a glorious future.
We were told that the Union was safe.
We were warned that all the warnings were project fear.
Well trade has gone through the floor, the oven-ready deals were not there, the union is breaking up, Project Fear is becoming Project Reality.
Our fishing and farming is in ruins.
Great stuff Cummings and Johnson. But at least all your mates made a lot of money out of it!!
We’re looking forward to hormone-rich beef and chlorine-soaked chicken!
The Tories are taking control of the BBC, they own the papers, they are changing the boundaries – and they think they can get the British Public to believe anything!!
The saddest thing is that they are probably right!
I do love Chris Riddell! Thanks John Peachey for sending them through.
There is a great irony in Dominic Cummings. He’s like a jilted lover. His lies are what powered Brexit and propelled Johnson to the Prime Ministership. Will he now gain his revenge by telling the truth?
He was the one who cooked up all the lies about the oven-ready deals that turned out neither to be world-beating nor oven-ready. He was the one who lied about the £350,000 on the side of the bus and stoked up the xenophobia and racism with scare stories of terrorists, five million Turks and being swamped with Eastern Europeans. He was the one who created Project Fear and had all the sane Tories kicked out.
The man was the mastermind behind a right-wing coup that has put Britain in a very dire situation.
Now the man has the inside information on the sleaze and incompetent that is the very centre of Johnson’s corrupt regime! Will he spill the beans??
Instead of spinning lies will Cummings seek revenge by telling the truth for once??
The DUP Blues
We’ve got Davies and Rees-Mogg paving the way.
We’ve got Boris and Fox and Theresa May.
They’re all driving the car towards the edge of the cliff.
We’re all speeding over with a bang and a biff.
I’ve got the DUP Blues
From my head to my shoes.
We’ll I’m voting for Corbyn
He’d better not lose.
With got holes in our roads and the roofs of our schools.
We’ve got nurses on breadlines because of these fools.
We’ve got no police on the streets and cuts to our pay;
A hard Brexit looming and no hope of a say.
I’ve got the DUP Blues
From my head to my shoes
We’ll I’m voting for Corbyn
He’d better not lose
In the land of perpetual austerity it is all still the same.
They can’t find a single penny to change that sad game.
Our teachers and doctors are suffering great pain.
While the greedy old bankers are still counting their gain.
I’ve got the DUP Blues
From my head to my shoes.
We’ll I’m voting for Corbyn
He’d better not lose.
I’m moving to Ireland where the roads are now good.
Put the kids into school in a gleaming neighbourhood.
They’ll have champagne with dinner and caviar with tea.
Paid for by May, and the likes of you and me.
I’ve got the DUP Blues
From my head to my shoes
We’ll I’m voting for Corbyn
He’d better not lose
Opher 27.6.2017
Incredible that there is no money for the nurses, teachers, police, council workers, socials workers, doctors or courts but just when the Tories need to bribe someone in order to stay in power there is a big money tree.
All us ordinary people have austerity while the bankers and executive have big pay rises and multimillion bonuses.
The DUP with their bible-bashing flat-earthers now hold power. They’ve pocketed a cool billion. All they have to do is vote as they’re told. They can call the tune. If they choose they can bring down the government.
Who said politics is about ideals and the will of the people? It’s about power; it has always been about power.
Once we had free trade with our neighbours, seamless, with no tariffs or red tape.
We threw it away.
Now we have restrictions, tariffs and mounds of red tape.
Instead of shipping goods a few miles across the channel we are looking to ship it to the other side of the world. As if that makes any sense?? The extra costs?? The extra fuel used?? The extra transport?? The extra greenhouse gasses and pollution?? The extra time???
Does this make any sense??
On top of that we are now beginning to see the effects of these wonderful new deals with those glittering opportunities – the opportunity to buy food smothered in chlorine and stuffed with hormones. The opportunity to retire all our hill farmers and crofters. The opportunity to destroy more rainforest abroad. The opportunity to pay more for less. The opportunity to employ more customs officers. The opportunity to fill in forms. The opportunity to duplicate all the work we were doing with our neighbours (at huge cost). The opportunity to fall out massively with our friends.
Thanks John Peachey for sending it through.
Brexit in Bed with two Possibilities
Soft or hard;
In or out;
Political Viagra
Is what it’s all about.
We don’t want it hard
It would be too stiff.
It’s better soft
Not off that cliff.
Hard or soft;
Out or in;
We’re all stuffed
And it’s a sin.
Opher 9.6.2017
I thought a bit of fun and a cheeky bit of sexual innuendo was appropriate for this serious business of Brexit.
Brexit is proving a lot messier than sex but the outcomes are just as serious. It could greatly affect your future and your health just as much as a pregnancy or a STD.
What is obvious is that it is not going well but all that should have been obvious from the beginning. Relationships rarely break up with any winners – everyone suffers. By hell we are all going to suffer from Brexit. Already it has cost us dear and when we have finally done it and our economy dives, our house prices dive, our jobs evaporate, and prices soar; when our country loses influence in the world; when people realise that bad can become worse; when the fascists march in your street – then people might wake up to the fact that we’ve been led up the garden path by a bunch of extreme nationalists and we’re all fucked.
