Off Your Coaches, Out Of Your Cars – Passports, Fingerprints and Hassle!

Off course, the queues, red tape, delays, extra costs, hassle and inconvenience are nothing to do with Brexit!!

The loss of GDP, the wrecking of the public services, the lack of money, nothing to do with Brexit!

Haven’t we just had another brilliant trade deal?? That’ll put on 0.4% of GDP in the next ten years. Another ten of them and we’ll be back to where we started!! That’ll make it all worthwhile.

So let me see – immigration up lots, trade down lots, loads of extra costs, red tape, bureaucracy. How’s this Over-Ready Deal going? See any hint of sunlit uplands any time soon? Secured our borders? Made Britain Great Again?

Lucky Today

Lucky Today

I was lucky today,

                I managed to book a slot to be ill,

Someone cancelled,

                Probably died.

So on May the twenty eighth at ten fifteen

                In two thousand and twenty eight

The doctor can see me

                And prescribe me a pill.

I have five years

                To think about

                                What might be making me unwell.

Let’s hope it’s nothing serious!

I am on a roll.

                I managed to find an appointment

To sort which teeth I might want to fill.

                That’s in twenty twenty-nine.

So I’ve got six years

                To save up

So that I can pay the bill.

My kids are being taught

                By a homeless guy

                                The school took in off the street.

He has no qualifications

                But he was cheap.

They’re holding an lottery

                For a loaf of bread.

I might buy a ticket.

                Only a pound.

I know thousands will be trying for it

                But it’s my lucky day!

Opher – 15.3.2023

I was listening to Hunt’s budget in which he handed out lots of promises, gave lots of money to the rich as usual, and told us how brilliant they’d been for the past twelve years and how marvellous it was going to be in the future.

Outside in the streets the whole country is on strike because of starvation wages, cuts and austerity, shelves are empty and everything is horribly broken.

Dental appointments, hospitals, ambulances, trains, GPs, restaurants, farms, fishing, you name it. Costs too high, staff shortages, red tape and poor wages – the joys of Brexit.

At least we’ve taken back control and given it to Rees-Mogg!!

Tell Me Lies About Brexit

Tell Me Lies About Brexit

I don’t want to hear about lorry queues,

                All the red tape

                                And the extra cost blues.

Just tell me lies about the sunny uplands

                The fairy-tale trade deals,

                                The extravagant plans.

The Brexit dividend

                The border control

That we haven’t dug ourselves into a great big hole.

I don’t want to hear about rotting fruit

                About job losses

                                And lack of recruits.

Just tell me lies about the sunny uplands

                The fairy-tale trade deals,

                                The extravagant plans.

The Brexit dividend

                The border control

That we haven’t dug ourselves into a great big hole.

I don’t want to hear about the GDP,

                The loss of growth

                                And how that affects me.

Just tell me lies about the sunny uplands,

                The fairy-tale trade deals,

                                The extravagant plans.

The Brexit dividend,

                The border control

That we haven’t dug ourselves into a great big hole.

So tell me about £250 million on the side of a bus!

Not how many billions it’s really costing us!

Tell me about how good it will be

Not how much it’s costing me.

Tell me Rees-Mogg didn’t make a million or two.

That they weren’t lying – the whole ERG crew.

Tell me that I can still study, travel and work

Without a thousand forms from some Whitehall berk.

Tell me how great it will be

Different to what these eyes of mine see.

Just tell me lies about the sunny uplands

                The fairy-tale trade deals,

                                The extravagant plans.

The Brexit dividend

                The border control

That we haven’t dug ourselves into a great big hole.

I don’t want to hear about the empty shelves

The petrol prices or the energy.

I don’t want to hear about the lack of nurses

Or fewer drivers with the HGV.

I don’t want to know that it was a pack of lies

That the Turks weren’t coming

Or all the cucumbers weren’t the wrong size.

I don’t want think as I sit in this queue

That it didn’t have to be like this

                What did we do?

Just tell me lies about the sunny uplands

                The fairy-tale trade deals,

                                The extravagant plans.

The Brexit dividend

                The border control

That we haven’t dug ourselves into a great big hole.

Opher – 28.7.2022

Sadly, we were conned! We didn’t wrest back control from Brussels. We are still not in control of our borders. They are still as porous as ever. We are merely replacing, at enormous cost, the cheap EU labour with more expensive labour from India and Africa.

They used racism and fear. We weren’t about to be flooded by Turks.

They used nationalism and patriotism to divide and create an us and them.

They used fear of immigration, Eastern Europeans and Muslim terrorists.

We have put billions in the pockets of greedy Tories and consigned ourselves to decades of austerity. We’ve given power to a bunch of self-serving Bullingdon boys who arrogantly treat us like fools.

They told us it would be easy without mentioning the tariffs, border checks, delays, red tape, shortages and extra costs. They told us they had ready-made trade deals. They forgot to mention all the cost-saving cooperation or easy access to the best market twenty miles away. For some reason it seemed a good idea to ship stuff to the other side of the world in preference to France.

They said they weren’t racist but they just hate foreigners.

Red, white and blue!! Red white and blue! Long live the Queen!

The folly of nationalism and patriotism once again deployed by cynical scoundrels for their own benefit.

They got the billions and the power; we pick up the bill!

The benefits of Brexit!

The main benefit is that Rees-Mogg, among others, made millions out of it!

Benefit number two is that it managed to get a bunch of inept ultranationalists elected with a whacking 80 seat majority so they can do what they like and make loadsa money.

Benefit number three is that it enabled the loony right to completely take over the Tory Party and oust all the moderates so that they were unopposed.

Apart from that there are no benefits. All those easy trade deals never materialised. It’s costing us £37 million a year and all the fears about trade and firms leaving the country came true. All the higher costs, red tape, tariffs and destabilisation of the UK came true. All the shortages of labour, delays, long queues, loss of freedoms and subsequent price rises came true.

We took back control from the EU and handed it to a bunch of rabid, lying, corrupt, overprivileged, overgrown Eton schoolboys who are buggering everything up while profiting greatly!

Brexit and Project Fear!! Contracts and Tax havens for the wealthy!!

Wasn’t this exactly what the Remainers said would happen?? Isn’t this what was labelled Project Feat???

The rich made a fortune out of it!! The poor pay!!

The tax havens are safe!!

Project Fear – Who could have predicted that?

Wouldn’t it have been nice if they had been honest and said – this is the price you will pay for wresting our sovereignty back from the EU and giving it to a bunch of self-serving Eton twats:

Higher prices

shortages of goods

Job losses

lousy trade deals

Enormous hit to the economy

Louse environmental costs of shipping stuff around the world

Firms shutting down

Companies fleeing into Europe

Fishermen hit hard

Farmers hit hard

Massive increase in red tape

Musicians and performers stopped from playing in Europe

Students unable to study/work and travel

Work opportunities restricted

Lower standards

Lower wages and worse conditions

Enormous costs (in tens of billions setting up customs, lorry parks and duplicating all the stuff done in collaboration)

Shortages of workers for hospitals, care homes, fruit and veg pickers, lorry drivers, hotels, restuarants……..

Shipping in workers from India and Africa.

But, of course, all that was PROJECT FEAR!!! It would never happen!!

And all hidden up in the smokescreen of COVID!!!

When will we ever learn???

Johnson, Gove and Farage have cost this country tens if not hundreds of billions! They have divided the nation, created hate and fear and split families and friends. They have empowered rabid nationalists, xenophobes and racists and created a nasty grubby country.

They should all be locked up for the lies they told and the mess they have created!!

So this is GLOBAL BRITAIN??? A country where cronies, profiteers and the wealthy make a killing while everyone else is left with decades of austerity.

Brexit Trade Deals – Chris Riddell cartoon

Once we had free trade with our neighbours, seamless, with no tariffs or red tape.

We threw it away.

Now we have restrictions, tariffs and mounds of red tape.

Instead of shipping goods a few miles across the channel we are looking to ship it to the other side of the world. As if that makes any sense?? The extra costs?? The extra fuel used?? The extra transport?? The extra greenhouse gasses and pollution?? The extra time???

Does this make any sense??

On top of that we are now beginning to see the effects of these wonderful new deals with those glittering opportunities – the opportunity to buy food smothered in chlorine and stuffed with hormones. The opportunity to retire all our hill farmers and crofters. The opportunity to destroy more rainforest abroad. The opportunity to pay more for less. The opportunity to employ more customs officers. The opportunity to fill in forms. The opportunity to duplicate all the work we were doing with our neighbours (at huge cost). The opportunity to fall out massively with our friends.

Thanks John Peachey for sending it through.