Tory conference

Conference week was a thing of contrasts. There was the jubilant Labour Party with its radical agenda of change, unifying at last and preparing for government, and there was the despondent Tories, torn apart, rudderless and heading for the rocks.

Watching the Tories at work was like watching a slow-motion crash. The usually slick machine that was honed on presenting a flawless image to the public and making the most inedible of policies sound edible was visibly disintegrating before your eyes. The gloom was palpable. They knew it was all over bar the shouting. The hall was half empty. The cheer-leading by the very people already putting the knife in was evidence of the end of May, if anyone needed further proof. The hypocrisy reeked,

Theresa May took to the stage to give her clarion call and reunite the fractured party, instill it with hope and rekindle the spirit, and fell flat on her face in embarrassing fragility. This was no Henry the Fifth – once more unto the breach. This was more like Frank Spencer in Some Mother’s do have them. In panic, like a rabbit in the headlights, she tried to steal Labours clothes, borrowing from Miliband and even trying on Corbyn’s codpiece. What came out was hollow, lying and desperate. She even tried to steal their motto – FOR THE MANY – NOT THE FEW – but it came out as another deceit – Building a country that works for everyone. If that was the case then why have they spent the last seven years fleecing the poor, the public servants, the teachers and nurses, the disabled and weak to give tax cuts to the rich and the corporations? Why haven’t they closed the tax loopholes so that people like Wayne Rooney, earning £300,000 a week pay less tax than a teacher? We’re all in it together as austerity made everyone poorer except for the wealthy – who doubled their money. Tory mendacity knows no limits.

The Tories, desperate for power, see it slipping away. The slow motion crash is happening and they are powerless to do anything about it. There are many hands on the wheel but they are all pulling in different directions.

Moving to watered down Labour won’t fool anyone. Tory values are immoral and always will be. They can never be the party of ordinary people no matter how many porkies they come out with. They represent the rich and powerful. That’s why they were formed and that is what they always do. That’s what this mob did from the start.

I watched the set fall apart as she gave her speech. I watched the huge security lapse as a known comedian prankster carried out his publicity stunt and presented her with a UB40 unemployment card on behalf of Boris. Luckily it wasn’t a real knife. When things go wrong they go spectacularly wrong. The Tories can’t even put a stage set together or manage basic security anymore. It has descended into farce.

As for Theresa – her gambit had failed. She stumbled, coughed and choked through her speech and looked as if she might actually die on stage. The confident strutting madam had become the terrified fool.

The hall was the scene of collapse and morbid nightmares with all the atmosphere of a crematorium. Meanwhile, out at the fringe, the aspiring leaders played to packed houses and enthusiastic cheers as Boris, Mogg and other potential leaders wowed their factions. For that is what it has become – a series of warring factions. It will be bloody. There is more hatred between these groups than anyone else. They’d rather UKIP, the National Front or the Communist Party got elected than the other guy. Labour getting elected would be almost a relief.

The Tory party is pulling itself apart. It is highly visible.

Why?

Europe.

Stupidly the arrogant May pressed the button before settling the differences and gaining unified support within her party. She knew that would not be possible. She somehow thought that by doing the deed it would all quiet down. Far from it. It sparked greater hatred. The right wing were gleeful as Davis cavorted, Rees-Mogg preened, Fox gloated and IDS lurked. They thought they were invincible. They took their arrogance to Europe and were told to stuff it. The pro-Europe Tories set about producing their different vision and there was all-out war. Bet she wishes she hadn’t pressed that button now!

As the clock ticks there is no consensus about what type of exit Britain is looking for. There is much posturing and chaos. And May presides over a crumbling party that is ripping itself to bits. It is visible in her own body. Her sagging spine is more rounded, her dark, heavily bagged eyes are more cadaverous and her voice trembles and breaks.

She put all her eggs in a resounding election win to give her the credibility to push it all through and quieten her critics. She lost all of that credibility and is now a husk waiting for the guillotine. She has the look of Major. The only thing saving her is that all other candidates are unviable. They would all rip the party in half. There is nobody who could unify the rabble it has become. The Tories are over.

Her betrayal of the British people must weigh heavy on her. The enormity of the catastrophe she has unleashed is staggering. We are now sleep-walking towards a disaster, She is proving that a car can’t be driven by a group of drivers. They’re heading for the wall. They are going to be many casualties – the worst of which are going to be the British Public.

Hopefully they will spectacularly go over the cliff in time and Corbyn will be there to save the day and pull it all together.