A push of the button

Life can be frustrating.

I have a habit of writing poems. When something inspires me I start to scribble. I fill pages with scribbles and then type them and work them to create what I call poems. I can condense my thoughts and feelings into some short flow of words. I find that process simple. I can examine my own head. I can express my thoughts.

I then publish them on my blog and save them in a document. When I have collected enough I publish these poems as a book.

It’s a system.

I know that my ‘poems’ have limited appeal to others. They are more of a personal expression. Not many people ever purchase a book of my poetry. I publish them for myself. I’m fine with that. They mean something to me.

Recently I had accumulated sufficient to begin to think of producing the next volume. That requires a bit of work – designing, writing an intro and blurb. But I enjoy that.

Last night I felt inspired to create a few more ‘poems’ and followed the same procedure. I put them on my blog and copied them into my ‘book’. I pressed save. My computer came up with an alternative name. Without thinking I told it to replace the existing document. I pressed the button.

Only then did I notice that some forty pages were missing. For some reason my computer had created another document and I had saved my new poems to this.

A press of the button.

Forty pages lost.

I’ve done this before. Once I had been working on a novel until four in the morning and, out of fatigue, pressed the wrong button and erased forty pages of writing.

Nothing to be done.

The press of a button.

You cannot go back.

Except, this time, I could. So I spent a frustrating hour retrieving the lost poems from my blog and restoring them to my book. An hour that could have been better spent.

This time a press of the button only caused minor irritation and loss of time.

Sometimes a rash decision has far more serious and far-reaching consequences!

Poetry – Putin’s Dust

Putin’s Dust

Bedding to ashes

                Houses to dust

Sure and certain

                Cities resurrected

Traumatised people

                Suffer eternally.

Pounded to rubble

                Killed to be saved

Liberators in khaki

                Dispensers’ of death

Following orders

                Mindless madness.

Committed to the ground

                Flesh to earth

Pulverised

                To pulp

Grandiose plans

                Paranoia and power.

Curtains to ashes

                Children to dust

Futures to earth

                Hope to rust!

Dreams dissolved

                Horrors unleashed.

Time does not heal!

                Time does not heal!

                                Time does not heal!

Time just moves on.

                It moves on

                                And takes the stains with it.

Opher – 31.3.2022

War traumatises all who come into contact with it. It traumatises. It breaks minds. It ruins lives

The jigsaw puzzles cannot be put back together.

Minds are broken, damaged.

There is a stain that lasts forever.

It damages the victors as much as the victims.

Putin will suffer.

Is this why we put psychopaths in charge? Because they have no feelings for the suffering they instigate?

Is this why we elect sociopaths because they enjoy inflicting pain?

Are these leaders human?

Do they not become disturbed by the death and suffering they unleash?

Cities are rebuilt but the stains remain.

People cannot be rebuilt. The survivors are often the unlucky ones.

Part of them is forever destroyed.

War.

Nothing can ever be normal again.

Today I wear Black

Today I wear Black

Today I shall wear black

In recognition

Of our lessening power and influence.

I shall wear black

In recognition

Of our weakening economy.

I shall wear black.

I shall wear black

In protest

At our jingoistic nationalism.

I shall wear black

For our loss.

For the loss of cooperation,

For the loss of my grandchildren’s dreams.

I shall wear black.

I will wear black

For the Eton boys and bankers

Who conned us

With their fear-ridden vision

From which they will profit greatly

I shall wear black.

I wear black for the victims of the next war

Born of isolation and arrogance.

I shall wear black

For the nostalgia

For a time that never was

For the Dunkirk spirit and terror of the Blitz

For rationing and poverty

As if these were wonderful.

And I shall wear black

For the things that we must now endure

The inequality and lies

The privilege and ignorant masses

I shall wear black.

For if we really understood

We should all wear black.

Opher – 31.1.2020

As we came out of the EU, burdening ourselves with more red tape and removing opportunities from our kids, it is a time of loss and sadness.

Wearing black is appropriate at such times.

Poetry -I’m Full of Holes

I’m Full of Holes

There is a hole where you once lived

Now that hole lives in me

Your sun set into a deepening sea

Its red glow now resides in me

I’m so full of holes and glows

I can hardly see

My eyes hazy

With salty sea

There is a hole where you once lived

Now that hole lives in me

Opher -2.7.2021

Thinking of friends, losses and partings

The Reduction of our freedoms!

Poetry – Your absence is noted

Your absence is noted

All the colours were the same,

Tinged with disbelief.

Inside it was clinical –

Curtain drawn around a bed,

And all was still and neat.

Outside, the sun shone as usual;

Another bright sunny day

Towards the end

Of a fabulous summer –

The warmth belying the mood.

Nothing was real

Until I touched the cold

Hard white marble of your face

Then the whole universe shifted.

Outside the window

It was now bleary.

A man walked his dog.

A woman entered the phone box.

An old man with a stick,

Bent and stiff,

Walked slowly past,

Carrying a bag of shopping.

How could it possibly

Be so ordinary?

Opher 13.5.2016

Poetry – THE END

THE END

 

That’s a body in that coffin

He’s gone

We will never see him again

Never talk to him

But there are a lot of things not in that coffin

His smile

His crazy laugh

A twinkle

His perceptive intelligence

That could penetrate walls

His barbed wit

His craziness

His individuality

Warmth

And madness

He was an irascible old bastard

An awkward old sod

An impetuous madman who knew no boundaries

He hurt people

And we loved him

He loved people

And we hurt him

He was a confused wonderer

A thoughtful targeter

A gleeful commentator

A worried madman

A poet, musician, father and a man

His poems, his music and his thoughts are not in that coffin.

He’s left them back here with us.

He is alive in our memories.

He goes on and on forever through the ripples we all pass along

The bastard touched us

And moved the world.

Miss Him?  It will be hard to live without him. But only part of him has gone.

Opher 12.1.02

I wrote this for a friend

Our lives are much too short. We only just get going and it is over.

Every friend gone leaves a hole.

All we leave are the ripples of our wake. They spread out endlessly to touch everyone, passing from one to another in an endless chain, like snooker balls, our ripples bounce off each other.

We may not touch others directly but we nudge and prod through others.

Friends are gone but they live on in our thoughts, our memories and the effect they had on us. They change us. We change each other.

Together we build a zeitgeist that changes the world.

I wrote this poem for a dear friend who is now a series of ripples that are resounding around this globe. I miss him. But I still feel him talking to me in my head. I take out my memories and dust them off. He still teaches me. He has left so much of himself behind for us.

It is wrong that he is gone, it makes me angry, but his ripples will live on for ever.