Here you go – meet Gerald the All-Knowing – the founder of Geraldism – a new religion that has taken off throughout both blocs.

Come to understand what is meant by communal cleansing. They say that it’s a happy way to go – with a smile on your face!

The Prophet Gerald the All-Knowing lived a fairly short life. People said that he wore himself out in the pursuit of wisdom and understanding and spent far too much time communicating with God and cleansing his body. Sometimes he, and a small number of chosen acolytes, would be up all night communing and cleansing. Many of his chosen acolytes marvelled at his stamina. Though he was no longer a young man he willingly gave his body to the task and practiced what he preached.

His first step had been to set up his own ashram. That was not easy as he had little finance, following the divorce from his wife, and had to rely on donation from his disciples. Fortunately a number of them were wealthy and more than willing to give of their riches for the furtherance of their newly acquired faith.

As a result of these substantial donations a large multi-roomed ashram was constructed. It consisted of many small private bedrooms, communal dining and ablutions and a large room with soft flooring, cushions and couches for group adherence to the principles of Geraldism. Sessions went on every evening and the adherents applied themselves with gusto. Gerald himself was a stickler for the rules. Communal cleansing was a must.

Within the Ashram Gerald himself had a large separate accommodation. That was entirely necessary in case God wished to commune with him again. And indeed God did. From time to time Gerald would appear with another revelation – often a refinement that God wished to make to a section of ‘the book’. Nobody was permitted to enter Gerald’s inner sanctum. That was for him and God, but he did have a room for his own practice and communing in which selected acolytes were invited to join him and assist him to fulfil the commandments as prescribed. There was no shortage of volunteers. It was an honour for the young girls to have the privilege of worshipping with the master himself.

As the word spread, concerning the delight to be found with worshipping in the Geraldian manner, many more young people were attracted in to the order. It soon became clear that more Ashrams would be required. In order to finance this expansion God spoke to Gerald and provided him with the means. The new followers were to sever all ties with the evil State and its mindless parasites, to renounce all worldly consumption and goods and come to the faith as reborn, individuals, naked and free of all vestments of the godless society. They were reborn into the true faith and donated all their worldly goods and creds to the ashram as a token of their desire for rebirth. Cash poured in and more ashrams were set up.

Later on God spoke to Gerald again and assured him that it was permissible for followers to work in mammon as long as the profits of their labours were poured back into the ashram for the furtherment of the faith. This added boost of income heralded a new era of expansion. The increased funds enabled further ashrams to be established in increasing numbers and the cult began to send its root-hairs out through the subsoil of both empires.

I have put this out under my alias Ron Forsythe.

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