Father Christmas

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. Dick Gregory

For a time, I believed not in God nor Santa Claus, but in mermaids. They seemed as logical and possible to me as the brittle twig of a seahorse in the zoo aquarium or the skates lugged up on the lines of cursing Sunday fishermen – skates the shape of old pillowslips with the full, coy lips of women. Sylvia Plath

For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you’d stay up until three in the morning. You’d hear the parents wrapping in the other room but you knew that also, maybe, they were in collusion with Santa Claus. Chris Pine

What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith and imagination, each with a payoff. Like cognitive training exercises. Chuck Palahniuk

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus. Joe Nichols

We have domesticated God’s transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level. Karen Armstrong

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12! Danielle de Niese

Everyone thinks of God as a man – you can’t help it – Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man. Patti Smith

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit… Santa, who was jolly – but, let’s face it, he was also very judgmental. Julia Sweeney

I’m concerned about my daughter because she will not believe in Santa Claus. No matter what I say to her, she just doesn’t buy it, and she’s 2. I refuse to give it up. I say, ‘There is a Santa Claus,’ and she says, ‘Okay, Mommy. In pretend world, right?’ She really doesn’t believe. Salma Hayek

Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year. Victor Borge

The idea of God as a fatherly figure who looks down on us and worries about how we’re doing or takes sides when we have fights – it’s more irritating than Santa Claus. The world and the universe are far more wonderful if there’s not a puppet master. Dave Matthews