Ode to a Fundamentalist – a poem

Ode to a Fundamentalist


If he had a woman she’d not be allowed to think

He’d keep her shackled to the kitchen sink.

When not popping babies she’d clean up the house

Then sit looking pretty as still as a mouse.

She’d have to obey his every whim

For as is obvious she’s not really equal to him.


And as for the faggots and those perverted by porn

He’d have them rounded up to be shot at dawn.

The wanking police would be knocking at your door

Checking for spills so they could give you what for.


Those that were guilty of teaching sex ed

Would be tortured and maimed until better off dead.

And as for the commies, those who crave equality

Death is too good for you, them and me.


And as for the stoners – those that get out of their head

There’s another group who’d be better off dead.

So round them up with the queers, sluts and wogs

Kick ‘em and lash them

They’re worse than stray dogs.


When he was all through and had cleaned up the perverse,

Using archaic texts in Arabic verse,

He’d proclaim the world free of perversion and sin –

Herald a new age and usher it in.


He would be King of the whole damned world

And all nature would die as his plans unfurled;

For the scientists all lie – there’s no extinction rate

And as for the climate – that’s going just great!


He knows that god wrote the words from his realm up in space

And gave them to us cos we’re such a disgrace.

So stone all the women and bash out baby brains,

Wage war on the infidel who are obviously insane.

They believe the wrong words from the wrong book

So bomb them to bits and hang them from hooks.


But the new age is the past in his universe

Where superstition rules with lessons so terse.

Rules that were written thousands of years gone

Now applied to the letter to right every wrong.

In his universe it’s all white and black

You do as you’re told and don’t dare answer back.


For in the new age we’ll all be white male

With a society like that you just cannot fail!

No room for inferiors or the depraved

They’ll all be wiped out or rightly enslaved.

They’ll be no point in arguing – no ifs and no buts

But fortunately ….. we all see …….. that he is just nuts!!


Other 17.6.2018



I wrote this for a particular religious nutcase who writes on a forum I contribute to. It is an accurate picture of what the guy believes. These people actually manage to get themselves in positions of power where they inflict their horrendous fundamentalist views on the rest of us.

Their misogyny, homophobia, racism and religious intolerance is scary.

This is the type of thing Margaret Atwood wrote The Handmaid’s Tale about.

They are real.

6 thoughts on “Ode to a Fundamentalist – a poem

  1. I irk at fundamentalists as much as the next guy, but why is this an Ode? You aren’t praising him nor exalting his beliefs, quite the opposite, and even from a satyrical standpoint, you only provide strophes, no lyrical chorus replying in antistrophe (which would make sense, since you oppose his views), and your epode is blended into the main structure, I’ve never seen that before in an ode.
    Regardless, I loved the distich rhyming and how the thoughts were condensely divided, you did an awesome job. I just find that calling this genuine composition an ode only undermines it’s value, giving it a status more strict than it needs to be.

    1. Hi Johnny – well I was using the term ode satirically. It was aimed at a particular individual and I was basically taking the piss out of him. That use of the word ode was intended to be part of that. I know. I shouldn’t have.

      1. I just wanted to take the shot at understanding, regardless of that minor semantic, the composition is really great, I’m glad you shared it.

  2. Opher, OK the prose is good. But I needn’t project on that as Johnny did a better job than I could as it’s really not my forte.

    So that explains a great deal to me. For you to be wasting all that precious time of yours on some fundamentalist on a blog, and thinking that whatever you say will ever change that bubble of myth-cloud that clown lives under. Why waste your time on that?
    It’s automatically explains why you perhaps have such a lacking of knowledge in a number of knowledge sectors, where it’s obvious to some readers including me, but are intent to argue your case with too little ready knowledge as back-up.
    You seem to have an increasing number of people coming on board contributing information that on first glance given your replies, doesn’t seem too familiar with you and perhaps you maybe on a learning curve with a lot of that content.
    What would be a better idea would be perhaps to accept it, learn from it and work with it.
    To constantly or at least all too frequently argue a cold stone negative on the narrative will ultimately lose you almost every debate you enter as debate and the application of subjective information is not your forte.
    You’ve got some good people popping up but you seem to do your utmost best to lose them in an instant. That’s why in general terms, by general comparison, your blog just doesn’t rank anywhere on any level. You need major contributors to instill energy as you haven’t got any (obviously) but let others speak. You haven’t got these qualities but they have. I’d be more interested to read what they have to say ever before what you have as it never up to very much. Consider yourself just the conduit. Raise the subject for discussion but back off and let it flow.

    1. No Martin. I like debate. I have well-reasoned arguments and a lot of knowledge over a wide range of subjects. What I don’t need is the same old stupid Troll popping up in a number of different guises just to be abusive, rude and contrary. I prefer grown up intelligent debate without rudeness or silly put-downs. If you think that the type of puerile responses that my troll has been making contains any intelligence then that reflects on you.

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