Our Second Wedding – Anecdote

Wedding Number Two

I enjoyed Wedding Number One. It was all up in the air and interesting. Nobody quite knew what was going to happen next, least of all us.
Wedding Number Two was scheduled for the next week in the morning. We were going to make the whole thing legal, bring all the family into harmonious rapport, bring world peace and solve the Vietnam War. We decided to only invite parents and brothers and sisters to this one. We wanted it to be as perfunctory as we could make it.
Liz’s father rang up the night before and begged her to call it off. Liz’s Mum boycotted this one as well. We were off to a good start – I still had hopes for world peace and Vietnam.
As Wedding Number Three – The Pagan ceremony – was in the afternoon we brought all the food in the back of the car. Liz had diced Cheese and butter, which was in plastic bowls, and cut French Sticks into slices. They adorned the back seat.
Unfortunately the car wouldn’t go. We were pushing it up and down the road in our wedding gear. Some guy offered to fix it for a fiver so we paid him – and he did.
We set off very late and hurtled round the North Circular – at that time unbeset by Speed Cameras. I was desperate to make up time as we were three weddings late.
We got cut up by some idiot and I had to slam on the brakes. We got deluged with cheese and butter and were picking lumps out of our hair. I think nerves were a little fraught and we found ourselves having our first (but not last) blazing row. I should not have jammed the brakes on!
We arrived only two weddings late.
Liz’s Dad was looking rather pleased. He thought we weren’t coming.
But we’d missed our slot. It looked as if we couldn’t go ahead.
Fortunately an old girlfriend of mine inadvertently helped us out. She was supposed to be getting married in the next slot and had forgotten to pick up the banns. So, much to the dismay of Liz’s Dad, we slyly slotted in to her space as if it was meant to be.
It was rather a sober affair. We went in with just our family (minus Liz’s Mum) and said our words, signed the certificate and went out.
My Mum tried to add a wedding atmosphere by giving my little sister a little silver horseshoe to give to us. She may even have thrown a little bit of confetti.
A strange day.
Wedding Two was done and dusted!

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