I’ve put this out before but as I was tidying up my anecdotes for publication I found myself amused by this piece. So I’m putting it out again. I hope you will enjoy as much as I did.
Dark Matter becomes weirder than Sc-fi as Opher names the DM atoms and sub-atomic particles.
It appears that only 4% of the universe is visible, the rest is made of Dark Matter. That’s right – 96% of the known universe is made of something we can’t see.
And as for Dark Energy (DE to us buffs), that accounts for 70% of all the energy in the known universe and we haven’t a clue what it is.
All the ‘ordinary’ matter in the universe is made of atoms and all atoms are made of quarks. Everything is made of the same building blocks.
But Dark Matter (DM to us authorities on the subject) is made of something else. It does not appear to be quarks. So I will deign to name them prior to their discovery. I want it noted that the subatomic particles that make up the ‘atoms’ (or Goodwins, as they are now termed) of Dark Matter are to henceforth be known as Ophers.
I predict that there will be a number of different Ophers just as there are with quarks. Rather than calling them upward, downward, strange and charm as with quarks I want them named after my favourite Rock stars. So, depending on how many we later discover, in descending order, I want them named Roys (after Roy Harper), Dylans (after Bob Dylan) Beefies (After Captain Beefheart), Jimis (After Jimi Hendrix and Woodys (after Woody Guthrie). If there are more discovered then I would like them called Elmores (after Elmore James) and Nicks (after Nick Harper). Hopefully we’ll eventually discovered loads more and we can deploy Howlins (after Howlin Wolf) and Muddy’s (after Muddy Waters) as well as Beatles and Countrys (after the Fab Four and Country Joe and the Fish).
The interesting thing about Dark Matter is that it is probably all around us but we cannot see it or feel it. It is only detectable by its gravitational effect. There is a whole world out there made of Ophers all constructed out of Roys, Dylans, Jimis, Beefies, Nicks, Elmores and Woodys. There are people just like us moving through us right now having a conversation that is a conjecture about what the other 4% of their Dark Matter (our matter) might be made of.
I told you it was weirder than imagination.
Good afternoon Opher. The above you state there will be a number of different Opher’s – there is only one Opher.
Good afternoon Anna – It is alright – they are all clones.
I like the idea of 96% of the universe being made up of Ophers. But that is merely wanton megalomania.
Thank you for my laugh.
What? I was serious.
Haha… Everything is true until it’s a theory.. There might be more ophers…🙈🙈..
Hey, is your name Opher??
Yes. It’s a long story. It all started when I changed school at the age of ten. I became Opher. They had enough Chris’s in the class.
I am sorry but, I really don’t know the meaning of Opher.. I seems like you replied thinking that I know what’s Opher is🙈
Well my name was Christopher. They normally abbreviate that to Chris. But there were already two of those so they took the last part and I became Opher.
Seriously though, did you see they launched the satellite today. Yet more cutting edge science research from Glasgow University’s Science Park.
What’s that about Andrew?
To measure Einstein’s theory of gravitational wave forms. GU designed the measuring equipment.
And that’s in the satelite they launched today? Good stuff. The scots always did the world’s engineering and science. I’m glad I’m part scottish. I think it’s down to the climate.
Which one? I was over at a friends house up country last month. He’s 800 ft up and it was 1 degree at his and 12 degrees at mine when we left in the car 40 minutes earlier. Not for me!
You see – the climate is that variable in such a short space of time! Must affect people!
Perhaps we should try to be many different versions of ourselves in homage to things being various …
Don’t we already do that Dave?