All views welcome!
Well I tried to take that on board. I amalgamated the two into one. Chopped the bits you identified and tried to knock it into shape.
Is it too long? Not punchy enough?
Blurb
How good it would be to have a time machine to go back to all the wonderful moments in Blues and Rock history; to be there when it happened. To see Tommy Johnson busking and Robert Johnson in that tavern, to catch Elvis in small theatres and The Beatles in Hamburg, Howlin’ Wolf in Chicago and Hendrix at the Speakeasy.
It was then that I realised I did have a time machine. My knowledge, experience and imagination enabled me to be everywhere in time and space. All I had to do was create a witness and set him free.
My ‘man with no name’ takes you on that journey. He was there. He saw it all, was part of it all and loved it all.
This is a novel of the History of Blues and Rock through the eyes of a man who breathed the air, tasted the food, slept in the beds and lived the music.
This is the real story of Blues and Rock told through the eyes of the muse, the witness. You’ll be there with Charley Patton in Mississippi, with Son House teaching Robert Johnson to play, then with Robert at the crossroads, with Elvis recording in Sun Studio, Little Richard battling it out with Jerry Lee Lewis, Muddy Waters and Elmore James in Chicago, Bob Dylan in Greenwich Village, The Beatles in the Cavern and a thousand more.
This paints the main events in full colour with background and social context, not as a set of dry facts but as a novel through a series of self-contained vignettes.
Seems concise and cogent to me.
Cheers Plato. Thanks for letting me know.
I think you’ve cracked it – makes me want to pick it up and dive in. Job done Opher.
Excellent!
Job done, I’d say … perhaps a punchier last sentence, keeping same ideas? … otherwise great.
Ok – I’ve made the last sentence a bit punchier! Thanks guys. That helped no end. I think it looks good! Appreciate the objectivity!
Yes, it’s good. The combination of the two adds more meat. Well done.
Thanks Cheryl. What a combination of minds can achieve is always greater than one alone.