Boris Johnson – ingenious new way of financing the disastrous No-Deal Brexit!

Boris Johnson has an amazing plan to save the day! Realising that Brexit is a complete disaster for the economy and that he has somehow got to finance all the public services that the Tories have destroyed during their term of office, Johnson has come up with a cunning plan! He has to raise tens of billions to cover the huge cost of a No-Deal and also find more tens of billions to mend all the services the Tories have wantonly broken in the last ten years! Where can he possibly get those huge sums of money? Particularly as the economy is due to shrink dramatically and the pound crash following the exit from the EU?

Don’t worry Johnson has a contingency plan!!

Always the man with his finger on the pulse he has noticed that Trump is feeling sore after being snubbed by Denmark. Trump had his sights set on buying Greenland but for some obscure reason Denmark don’t want to sell. In the process they called Trump’s proposal ‘Absurd’ which has really upset the American President – so he has taken his bat home and declared them rude!

This was Johnson’s great opportunity. He is planning to step in and sell both Scotland and Ireland to the USA. This will get rid of a bag-load of problems with the troublesome Irish nationalists and annoying SNP. It will raise enough cash to fund Brexit and plug the holes in the public services that austerity has created, will secure a majority in Parliament and will enable him to give even more money to all the wealthy investors he represents!!- WIN WIN WIN!!!

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