Trump is having tea with HM Queen Elizabeth.
Trump: I think I’d like my country to be a Kingdom.
HM the Q: Well, you’d have to be a King to do that, and you are not one.
Trump: Well, an Empire, then.
HM the Q: Again, not possible, because you are not an Emperor.
Trump: Well, how about a Principality?
HM the Q: Well, the same problem. You are not a Prince. I’m afraid The US will have to remain a country.
On the night of his inauguration, Trump is visited by three ghosts.
Early in the night, FDR appears. When Trump asks him how he can make America great, FDR replies “Think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets.” Trump’s face sours, and he yells “FAKE NEWS!”
A few hours later, he is awakened by George Washington’s ghost. Trump asks “how can I make America great again?” Washington replies “I would suggest you never tell a lie”, which infuriates Trump.
Around three in the morning, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Again, he asks “how can I make America great again?”. Lincoln responds, “go to the theatre.”
I enjoyed that. Thanks Quora!
Someone sent me this through. Made me chuckle!
What is the funniest joke you’ve been told that you still think about to this day?
Three mice are sitting at the bar, knocking down a few whiskys. They get to bragging and the first mouse says, “yeah they put rat poison out at my place; I’ve developed a tolerance to it, in fact I kind of like it now—I sprinkle it on my cereal in the mornings.”
The second mouse says, “Meh, that’s nothing. They use those mouse traps at my place. I take the cheese and spring the trap, when the bar comes down, I grab it, do some chest presses to keep my pecs in shape, and then enjoy the cheese.”
The third mouse gets off his bar stool, puts on his flat cap and heads to the door; turning to the other mice he says, “God, I’ve had enough of this bragging. I’m going home to screw the cat.”
