All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.
‘I should be in charge,’ said the brain,
‘Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.’
‘I should be in charge,’ said the blood ,
‘because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away .’
‘I should be in charge,’ said the stomach ,
‘because I process food and give all of you energy.’
‘I should be in charge,’ said the legs,
‘because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.’
‘I should be in charge,’ said the eyes,
‘Because I allow the body to see where it goes.’
‘I should be in charge,’ said the rectum,
‘Because I’m responsible for waste removal.’
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The ass hole is usually the one in charge!
He made plans but he always rectum.
Thanks John!
a small boy, the son of a big truck driver, lived in the outback in Australia. Because he was very small and weedy he got bullied at school.
One day when he was reading one of his comics he saw an advert for Charles Atlas body building. It said: Are you being bullied? Then send for this course; build your muscles and you won’t be bullied again.
The boy thought this was a great idea and so sent off for the course.
Over the next months he worked hard on all the exercises. He would get up two hours early and work-out.
Sure enough, he developed huge muscles. He was so fit that he used to run into school alongside the school bus! Nobody bullied him anymore.
One morning his alarm failed to go off and he overslept. He was late and did not have time to do his exercises. He grabbed his breakfast and rushed out of the house.
At the bottom of the garden was the outside toilet beside the river. He figured that he had a few minutes, enough to do a few exercises.
One of the exercises was to push against a wall so he pushed against the wall of the toilet. Unfortunately he did not know his own strength and the toilet toppled over straight into the river. He watched in horror as it sank and disappeared.
Not knowing quite what to do, he knew his dad would be mad, he rushed off to school.
When he got home there was his father standing there waiting for him – all six foot six of muscle.
‘Son,’ he said. ‘Did you push the toilet into the river this morning?’
‘No dad,’ he stuttered.
‘Son, I’m going to tell you a little story. One day when George Washington was a young boy he chopped down his father’s favourite cherry tree. His father called him into his study and asked him if he’d chopped down the tree. George Washington replied ‘Father, I cannot tell a lie. Yes, it was me who chopped down the tree’. His father said, ‘son because you have been honest I will not punish you.’
His dad stared at him hard. ‘Now son, I’m going to ask you again. Did you push the toilet into the river?’
The boy took a deep breath. ‘Dad, I can’t tell a lie. It was me who pushed the toilet into the river.’
With that his dad grabbed hold of him and beat hell out of him.
The boy picked himself up and said angrily. ‘Dad, you said that when George Washington told the truth his father didn’t punish him.’
‘Yeah, well, there was one big difference. George Washington’s father wasn’t in the cherry tree when George cut it down!’
Religious fanatics do like burnings and beheadings, don’t they?
We see that with the Taliban – music banned, women banned, education banned – just reciting religious text, praying and whipping and beheading those who don’t do as they are told.
That’s what it used to be like in Britain. Witches were burnt.
