I was inspired to write a blog on boobs after reading a post by Jess from Half Girl Half Teacup.
Boobs – what a strange phenomenon or is it phenomena (there are usually two of them).
Everybody is obsessed with them.
Guys are nuts about them and can’t get enough.
Girls are worried about them all the time. They are either too big or too small. They pay billions for cosmetic implants. It’s the end of the world if they have to have a mastectomy. Young girls worry about not having any.
Boobs dominate everyone’s thoughts.
The Fugs
Boobs A Lot
(Yes, I like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
Really like boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)
Boobs a lot, boobs a lot.
(You gotta like boobs a lot.)…
But why?
They are obviously not there for the feeding of babies. Gorillas and chimps (our very close cousins) don’t have them and they feed their babies perfectly OK. In fact only 10% of a boob is glandular. 90% is adipose tissue (fat). If girls have boobs that are too big they find it hard to breast feed – the smaller the better is the rule.
So what are they for?
They are simply a secondary sex characteristic to attract males. Males like boobs a lot.
The trouble is that they are a bloody nuisance that women have been saddled with for thousands of years. They cause nothing but trouble (oh I know that a lot of girls like to flaunt their boobs and love the effect they have on men – but that hardly compensates in my opinion). Boobs get in the way. They are not built for running. They are not built for fighting. They have a short life (they head south rapidly if unsupported). They are cumbersome (guys – trying strapping two big bags of sugar to the front of your chest and see if they slow you down and get in the way).
They probably stopped women competing on a level playing field in primitive times. They could not hunt so well.
Women athletes tend to reabsorb their breasts.
The firmness of breasts denote fertility. Young girls are fertile. Older women are less so. The more pert the breasts the more fertile the girl.
Of course with modern technology women have conspired to keep their breasts pert longer and support them so they appear more pert than they are in order to subvert male proclivities. Men are easily fooled.
So why did something so useless and detrimental evolve?
Well Desmond Morris postulates that it is all to do with our bipedal evolution.
With chimps, gorillas and early man the quadrupedal nature of ambulation meant that the male face was lower down and the main focus of male attention was on the rump of the female – hence her rounded buttocks and reddened labia. The buttocks and labia were the main attractants.
When we walked upright the buttocks were nowhere near so visible so substitutes were selected. The boobs and big red lips took on the role of the buttocks and labia.
Aaah!! What does it tell us?
Men are such fools.
A little bit of lipstick and a push-up bra will take all the blood away from their brains. All they see and think about is boobs (and lips, labia and buttocks of course).
So many men like breasts (sorry but I hate the words boobs/tits) because not experiencing the closeness of being breastfed, simple. I do not understand what this obsession with having to have the perfect breasts is all about, if all women want to do is attract men, they cannot live without a man not love just sex – fine if that’s what you want but for goodness sake women should act like women not whores. Women can live without men without sex just as men can live without women. If women have to have their breasts enlarged there must be very little in their heads, but then with most men it’s not the woman’s brain they are after, as shallow as some women.
Boobs is another of those Americanisms. I can’t understand all the big fuss about breasts. It’s overinflated.
I find those huge breasts a real turn off. They are repulsive.
How do you know that word originated in America, mind you would not surprise me.You would find a joke! I agree with you I find these blown up breasts disgusting, to be honest I cannot understand any man that likes a woman with false breasts surely the truth is better all the time. They are kissing or whatever with silicone not reality.
Change the subject from breasts, as a man if you can get your mind off them!! Have you seen a film on tv called “The Partisan” Sky Premier 1, if you have not do, it is fantastic, well it would the much talented and very gorgeous, sexy Vincent Cassel stars. I think you will find it of interest and have something to say about it.
I can’t understand it either. They look horrible. The price of inflation!
No I haven’t seen that. I’ll keep a lookout for it! Sounds my sort of thing. Thanks for telling me.
ROFLMBO!!! (they head south rapidly if unsupported) I nearly choked I laughed so hard. I think this is one of my favorite posts you’ve ever done! And I’m not just saying that because I happen to own a pair! 😉
Cheryl I spend hours working out these ROFLMBOs – rich old flames love male biometric oddities? roll over for long multiple biodegrading Olympics? I can’t seem to get the knack of them. I had trouble with SWALK and BPARML.
I’m glad you liked the post.