Disabilities that enable
At school I used to arrange for various interesting people to come in to talk to the students. Dave was one of the most dynamic.
Dave was in his early thirties and had been paralysed from the waist down due to a back injury from a motorbike accident when he was just twenty one.
He had been a very active man who was very into his sport and mountain climbing. He’d come off his bike at speed and suffered a number of injuries. When he regathered his sensibilities he found he was in a hospital bed and couldn’t feel anything below his waist. The medics carried out a number of x-rays and tests and finally the doctor had informed him that there was nothing they could do. His spinal cord was damaged and he would never recover the use of his legs. He was paraplegic.
Dave told the students that he spiralled down into a deep depression. All that was in his mind was that he would never walk, never run, never play sport and never have sex. Life wasn’t worth living.
In the bed next to him was another young man who had also suffered a spinal injury from a motorbike accident. His had been more severe. He was paralysed from the neck down with only very limited use of his upper limbs. All he could do was move a finger and thumb on one hand.
‘I’m so lucky,’ the guy told Dave.
Dave could not really believe his ears. The guy was paralysed from the neck down and was telling him how lucky he had been.
‘It’s early days for you’, the guy continued. ‘You’ll see. If my break had been a centimetre higher I would have lost the use of my finger and thumb.’
‘Big deal,’ Dave thought.
‘No you don’t understand,’ the guy explained seeing the expression on his face. ‘That finger and thumb give me a life. I can operate a computer. I can use a wheelchair. I’m in control.’
It made Dave think. He had the full use of his arms. Life was a lot easier for him than the other guy. It was a turning point.
When Dave got out of hospital he was determined to do things. He made a list. He wanted to go sky-diving and skiing. Things that he had only thought about before. They told him it wasn’t possible. If he hit the ground without control of his legs he could suffer nasty breaks and injuries. Dave was undeterred. He invented protective devices for his legs and found someone who could take him in tandem sky-diving, skiing, then water-skiing, snorkelling and tobogganing. Whenever there was an obstacle he found a way round it.
He learnt to fly planes and became a pilot.
The kids were inspired by him. He had done so much with his life. He been more places and done more things that any of the able-bodied people they knew. He filled them with his lust for life. They could see that he was determined to make the most of what he had.
The last time I saw Dave he was heading off to the USA. He had enrolled on a helicopter pilot’s course. He was going to fly helicopters and there was only one place in the world that ran courses for disabled people like Dave.
Dave left us all with the words careering through our minds that his injury had not disabled him; it had enabled him. It had made him realise that the major obstacle that prevented us from doing things was ourselves. Dave said that it turned his button from ‘maybe sometime’ to ‘GO’.
Life was for living. You had to maximise your experience, not be put off by the obstacles and not allow your own lethargy or fear to hold you back.
I think he was the most inspiring, full of life, person I have ever met.
It is fear of the unknown and the terrible feeling inside of wanting to push yourself but something just pulls you back. I know if I did what I want to just once on my own I would be fine. I love going up to London and wandering around, but that makes me feel comfortable, do I make sense, it’s like screaming inside.
I know the feeling well. I think it happens every time we step outside our comfort zone. I felt it when I started teaching, when I became a Head, when I had to do public speaking. There’s a terror.
Yes there is a terror and I do not know if it is within me to overcome that, but saying that the story of your friend puts me to shame. I do not feel sorry for myself and if that is the impression I give, I am sorry. Someone like Dave who is carrying on makes one step back and look deeply at one’s self and see that I could do what I want it is all out there and time maybe running out for me who knows I should have the courage that Dave so clearly has.
Hi Anna. No you don’t come over as feeling sorry for yourself. Dave was one of those exceptional human beings who put us all to shame. I try to use his example to inspire me to deal with my demons and conquer that fear we all feel.
Having a bad time at the moment (nothing major). Everything seems to be going wrong.
The computer is really messed up. I cannot open things and it is so incredibly slow. I can’t do much at all. it is really frustrating.
The central heating has a problem. I had to fix it again this morning. The toilet was blocked and I had to sort that.
Books are all going badly. Nothing seems right.
I think I might have to take a break and stop being so manic. I’m beginning to feel down about it all. Nothing is working.
First of all I should have said good morning to you, but obviously it is not “good”. Join the club if anything is to go wrong it goes wrong here, we believe the house has been cursed, often thought of calling in a Priest to bless it? Mind you my so called sister lives here so it would be cursed, Bought a new plant the other day, tiny little thing straight from Sainsbury online, called a “Lucky Bamboo plant” oh my God the dreaded Bamboo am I mad! Well Jonathan done the euro lottery for me, next morning he said “you will never guess we have a win on the lottery” I thought at last San Francisco here I come,. yes we did have a win all £6 of it. Life as they say never runs smooth, are they joking I cannot remember a day when it ever goes right. Last night looking in on an auction of Rod McKuen’s personal belongings for sale David my Son (we were online live) when the four Gold Records came up that I wanted for $600 he did what he had to on the internet to buy them and it NEVER worked, the items ended up not sold, there you go Opher like you the bad luck is still going strong.
God I know how you feel about feeling down, I talk to myself so much and I shout well not so much as I did, this year has really seen me calm down but I scream inside when another day of “not again”. Your books are fantastic, you will even make them going badly sound great. If you want to rant I am here I do not mind.
There are days when everything feels pointless. I guess I’m having one of those. But central heating is partially fixed, toilet is unblocked. I can’t yet sort my books out. Can’t get on the internet – took me six attempts to open my mail. It’s so slow I’m wasting away.
Thanks for cheering me up. It’ll all come right in the end. Nothing seems right today.
Really inspiring.
Yeah. He was really inspiring. It makes you question whether you are really doing everything you can with your life. He lived it to the full.
Hats off for such an inspiring guy.
He was an amazing guy. Inspired me and made me look at my life and question whether I was maximising my opportunities.
We need more guys like him.
Imagine what a world of fun, ‘can do’, positive, pleasant people could actually be like? There’s not enough guys like him and far too many macho, hard, greedy, selfish, nasty types.