The Spider
It is that time of year again. The large house spiders are on the move. The big males are off hunting females to mate. They bounce across your carpet, veering and halting unpredictable.
They lurk in the recesses and under everything.
They are huge, dark and hairy. Their bristles are evil.
At night they emerge to climb walls and on to beds.
They appear in bath-tubs and showers.
They also loom even larger in my imagination!
I am an entomologist. I should know better. But childhood experiences combine with evolutionary instinct to tell me that these things are dangerous, evil and a malevolent force.
Nothing will persuade me otherwise.
We have a huge one in the house. My wife saw it scurry under the bath.
I know it’s there, somewhere.
The Spider
Malevolently scurrying across the floor,
Scuttling to a standstill, assessing,
Watching with its many eyes,
Weighing up the scene.
Then darting into dark crevices
Impossible to squeeze into
To lurk and plan
Its evil re-emergence.
When darkness falls
It is there
Under the cushion
Under the pillow
Brushing the sleeping face
With its bristles
Legs and gnashing mandibles.
Delighting in its success.
No web
Or patient wait
For this one.
He is quick
And unpredictable,
Equipped with
Many legs
And a brain
That intends
To terrify.
There
When
You
Least
Expect.
Huge
Dark
Hairy
And
Fast.
No ordinary spider.
Opher 3.9.2015
Hahaha! This is great! I’m sure it is planning and scheming to get you. You are an entomologist?
I really enjoy your writing, Opher.
Mary
Thank you – nice to hear from you.
I know that spider is after me. It’s still in there somewhere. It’s making me very nervy!
I’m OK about being an arachnophobe. Insects are cool but spiders are evil.
OMG! I was just getting used to being Zen about spiders — catch and release. Now I’m going to have to fumigate the bloomin’ house!
Sorry! It’s just me. Your spiders are probably really nice and friendly.
You just write about something that is a problem in my home. Spider!!!!! I have to buy Insecticide in my home because of cobwebs in my bathroom and my windows .
They’re everywhere. I think they are really quite evil.
Hahahahahaha
I know – it’s irrational. But that doesn’t seem to help.