It’s the day after my vaccination for Covid-19! I’m still alive! It was fabulous and I feel great. The only thing I have noticed is this bleep that goes off in my head every few minutes.
The whole experience was very easy.
As instructed I went along to the vaccination centre for my appointment.
I donned my mask and was ushered into a room with socially distanced seating. I did not have to wait long.
I was only there two minutes before we were taken into a room to receive our jabs. Before that we were asked a number of questions, some of which I found surprising.
There was my name, age, address and whether I’d had any reactions to previous vaccinations. Then there were a string of more personal questions that I found perplexing. Did I shop on line? Was I an Amazon Prime member? What political party did I support? How did I find Microsoft? Did I Google? How well did I think the government was doing in the pandemic?
They seemed very strange questions to me. I could not see what they had to do with being vaccinated but I did my best to answer. I assumed they were carrying out some polling.
It seemed that my answers were satisfactory enough and I went on to the jab.
My vaccination was interrupted. The woman next to me in the room had been quite belligerent when asked those questions. She told the poor vaccinator that she would not touch Amazon with a barge-pole, that Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates were exploiting scum, Boris Johnson was a clown who could not organise a water pistol fight in a swimming pool, and she would never vote for any of the self-serving greedy pillocks.
I noticed the woman’s vaccinator seemed very tight-lipped but she charged up her needle and injected the woman. Almost immediately the poor lady seemed to go into a fit, her face turned blue, she frothed at the mouth and went into a seizure. She was promptly carried out on a stretcher.
I was horrified but my vaccinator told me not to worry. She had merely fainted and would be OK.
You can imagine – I was very frightened as my nurse charged up her needle.
Anyway, I had nothing to worry about. The injection was painless and I feel fine.
Beep
In fact this morning I bounded out of bed. My arm felt a little heavy but it did not impair me from using the computer. I was full of extraordinary zeal. So many things to do.
Beep
I quickly updated my Amazon Prime and took advantage of the new ten year offer – very reasonably priced too. There were a number of things that I discovered I needed to buy! It nearly wiped out my bank account but it was worth it.
Beep
I answered the personal message from Bill Gates asking me how things were in Nafferton today and wishing me luck with the weather when I was taking my walk in the afternoon. Such a nice man.
Beep
Jeff Bezos thanked me for supporting him and being part of his on-line community. Such warmth, sincerity and friendliness.
Beep
I then checked out the Tory Party manifesto. I hadn’t realised how good they were. I vaguely remembered thinking that they were just a bunch of greedy capitalist elitists who represented the rich and conned us, but I had been wrong. The more I read about their philosophy the more I liked what I was reading. They really cared and had policies that would get the country on its feet. I joined up and, with the last of my cash, made a donation to their funds.
Beep
That Boris Johnson was not really a bad guy at all. I couldn’t think why I had ever thought him lazy and incompetent. He was a jolly nice guy who was tirelessly working hard for us all. He’d had a lot of bad luck. Nobody else would have done any better. So I sent him a supportive email.
Beep.
I’m so glad I decided to have my vaccination. I feel so much safer now!
Beep.
