The Corona Diaries – Day 436

It was nice and sunny today! I went for an early walk up on to the Wolds. The agricultural machine that passes for countryside was resplendent in its patchwork of monocultures. The finches were playing in the road. The hedgerows were full of chirping with occasional strong bursts from particularly robust birds.

Back home I zoomed my writing group and exchanged pleasantries.

It was too nice to stay indoors and edit so I went outside and alternated between reading Philip Roth and cutting grass – a lot more Roth than blades.

Am I still in lockdown? Well yes and no. We are certainly still social distancing and wearing masks in shops. But we have met up with friends and family. We have even book a few music and theatre events. I’m off for an evening with Martin and Eliza Carthy. That should be interesting. It’s a talk. I want to hear about his early experiences in the Folk scene with Dylan, Harper and crew.

Meanwhile out in Coronaland the Indian variant is surging. We have gone up to over 4330 new cases and poor old Dido has had to get out of her deckchair, put aside her G&T and start doing something. Not sure what? Neither’s she! Still, at a few hundred thousand an hour I don’t suppose she cares. She’ll get paid whatever happens. She has been.

Hancock isn’t a lying incompetent – it’s official! It was only a minor breach of ministerial protocol. Nothing to worry about. Presumably that means he only lied a little and only did some wrong things. He shielded the Care Homes by giving them covid sick people to practice on.

Neither is Johnson. He has thoroughly investigated himself and is in the clear. He too has never lied or done anything at all wrong. No need for anybody else to investigate anything. He’s done it himself. Oven-ready, world-beating champion of the poor. No contracts given to chums. No lies about Brexit, No payments from donors for holidays or wallpaper. All above board. Honest.

Besides, they are people of the people. Prince Nut and Princess Nut Nut just got married. Lovely wedding photo. Barefoot (obviously couldn’t afford shoes), hired dress (probably £10) and couldn’t afford a proper wedding – so no guests or do.

Gosh I feel sorry for them! Great photo op though – really took the attention away from the fact that they still haven’t solved the border situation. Not only did he leave the borders open to India for four weeks before putting them on the red list, but they still haven’t sorted it out in the airports.

Current situation: you come into the country from India, covered in Covid, breathing covid, filling the air with aerosol, covering every surface you touch. No medical checks. No segregation. You get off your plane and mix in with loads of other people from green countries coating them with covid, filling their lungs with aerosol. You then go off to quarantine after you’ve infected the right number.

I think it will turn out that Johnson and Hancock are playing a little prank on dear old Dido!! Silly things!!

Gosh – 4330 new cases! That’s getting rampant! But we did have a day without a death!! Vaccine is great isn’t it?? What?? Two to three weeks before the deaths kick in??? That’ll be around the time we should be opening up!!

No going back!! Isn’t irreversible!! Dunkirk spirit and all that!! We’ll pretend we’re in the Blitz!!

Pile the bodies up!!

I can just see Johnson flicking Vs with a glass of bubbly in the other hand. Very Churchillian – but looking more like Worzel Gummidge on a bad day.

The question is – are we following the science? Or making it up?

Don’t worry. Worzel Johnson never makes anything up. I’m sure that £350 million a week will be heading into the NHS soon!

Stay Safe. The government’s in charge!!

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