‘Aah, Kathy – another construct from our distant past. The personification of evil,’ I called after her as she disappeared through the door. ‘I think we can do without that one as well. Surely we must realise by now that the universe is immense and we’re nowhere near the centre of it! The Devil is just another control mechanism.’ I followed her into the dining room to join Liz and Tobes at the table, bringing the bottle with me. I plonked it down next to the one Liz and Tobes had opened.
‘So what is going to be the basis of this book of yours?’ Kathy asked disparagingly, seating herself and looking across at me. ‘What are you going to put in it?’
‘I’m going to tell the real stories,’ I said firmly. ‘I’m going to pull religion apart and dissect it, tell it like it is.’
‘Enough,’ said Liz, scowling at me. ‘I can see what you two have been up to.’ She took the Jay off Kathy, took a small puff and passed it to Tobes. ‘Let’s talk about something else.’
‘I am going to write the Antitheist’s Bible,’ I assured Kathy.
1.
It was a time of change. I could smell it in the air.
I stood out on the balcony of my office like some patriarch surveying my land. That was how I felt. Below me the boys were out at lunch playing football on the field or gathering in small groups. It was hot; one of those rare July days when everything conspired to create the perfect English Summer day. There had not been a lot of them so far this year. The grass was still vivid green and the trees shimmered against a deep blue sky in which the billowy white clouds only served to punctuate the welcome heat and emphasize the swathes of blue.
I had all the windows open to allow the breeze through. It made the temperature extremely agreeable. I liked summer. I always thought that our ancestors were nuts to have left Africa. The papers rustled on my desk. Voices drifted up from the boys below. It was orderly and pleasant. In the distance, through the trees, the old church was bathed in sunlight. Idyllic. Everything felt right with the world.
My gaze wandered over to the common land beyond the fence. There were little signs of the modern world intruding, no evidence of the town. We might all be marooned in time. I watched the boys as they played so intently. They were so alive. They would grow and leave here but they would always take some of it with them just as part of all of them remained here in this place. We all shaped our surroundings. We influenced what was to come after.
This was my legacy. I had built this. I knew that it wasn’t and I hadn’t; not really. There was no one man or group of men who could claim as much. To an extent we are products of our day and age. This school would have existed without me and would go on existing after I’d gone. I was just passing through. I’d made a mark, a mark that would soon fade away.
Behind me Channel four reached the news bulletin. Another bomb had gone off in Iraq killing 50. The fools were killing each other over the interpretation of some mediaeval text. Sunni against Shia just as it had been Catholic against Protestant, Hindu against Muslim. I felt a wave of anger surge through me. We just had to mess it up, didn’t we? What the world needed was the power of education.
Yet, for all the madness out there, this place was like a bubble of sanity. For thirty five years I had striven to infuse tolerance, respect and empathy. I had fought for responsible actions and promoted fairness and justice. I had championed equality. It had been my life’s work. In my view the world had to grow more sane and intelligent to have a future. We were approaching a global population of seven billion people. We had technologies that could unleash nuclear missiles, fearsomely vicious chemicals or biological death. It was my belief that we either grew up and solved problems with intelligence or died in ignorance and superstition. It looked to me as if ignorance and superstition were winning.
Below me, on that field, were the young men who I knew also believed in fairness and justice. I knew that because we’d often argued it through in class. They filled me with optimism. They were the new world. They were also the proof that my philosophy could work. They were free, happy and full of vitality. They were a vindication. For thirty five years I had fought to instil my ideals into this place and here it was in operation.
On this summer day it felt like the perfect culmination of all that effort. This was a scene of harmony and happiness.
Yet this was the time of change. I could feel it. My deputy was champing at the bit, eager to take over. I had become old but there were still many things that I wanted to do and so little time. There was a life outside of this. I looked out over that peaceful scene stretched out below me and knew that I would have to leave it to run its course. I had steered it as far as I could and had to be satisfied. It was time to move on.
Yet I was reluctant to let go. There was still work to do.
This was so satisfying. It was hard to leave it behind not quite finished. But then it could never be finished, could it? But I knew that it would change and it would no longer be mine.
Yet change was coming. I could sense it; and I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be just to do with work.
I looked at the clock. Lunchtime. Time for soup.