Breaking News: Match Makers NOT on strike!!

Fortunately for the factories and smokers match-makers are one of the few people left in the country who are not on strike!!

Can the GDP go into negative values I wonder?

After twelve years of Tory misrule everybody’s pay was so low that they could not afford to eat and heat. Some are working three jobs and still not getting by.

A Tory spokesperson said: ‘Silly buggers. They should have donated to the Tory Party. They’d have been given millions for doing nothing.’

Meanwhile, Peeress Mone is not going to attend the House of Lords. A spokesperson said: ‘She can’t be arsed! £332 a sitting is peanuts! The interest on her £20 million will do nicely!’

Britain’s new multimillionaire Tory donors are feeling the pinch. Maintaining a superyacht and two penthouse suites with a country mansion, all fully staffed, requires a bigger income. A spokesperson said: ‘We’re calling on the government to start another pandemic or at least have another Brexit!’

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