Manifesto
When elected I will give every man, woman and child a new house, car and fifty thousand pounds.
I will build an electric fence around Britain with a machine gun watchtower every two hundred yards to keep out the rapists, terrorists, murderers and drug dealers and their small boats.
I will bring in strict nationality tests. Anybody who can’t speak the King’s English or is not fully conversant with British customs will be deported.
I will cut all ties with Europe, stop all trade and ban all European goods. No European ship or plane will enter our territory.
I will expand our territorial jurisdiction to a hundred miles in all directions.
I will make a trade deal with the USA so that goods will flow freely between our nations.
I will install Donald Trump as King of the UK and make Great Britain the 51 st State!