Featured Book – The Antitheist’s Dictionary – Pt. 9


The clergy are foot soldiers of the mighty pixie. They go into battle with ordinary folk. Their job is to use whatever means to twist the minds of gullible people into believing.

Some use helping the poor, bereaved or sick – sort of getting to them when they’re vulnerable. Some use hypnotism. They drone on and on until the congregation is mesmerised into a state of quiescent vacancy so that they’ll believe anything as long as it will stop. Others use fire and brimstone to cause a major evacuation of the large intestines. Most aim to implant their evil time-bombs in the brains of young children so that they can never be free to think for themselves ever again – for religious doctrine is like the most addictive crystal meth – once addicted you are an addict for life.


Colossal is a word that means of immense size. It can be deployed to describe the magnificent awesomeness of the universe or to portray the gigantic lie that is at the centre of all religion. There is no evidence of a god, an after-life, or a purpose for existence. To categorically state that there is would be a colossal lie. There is however an immense universe out there. It is awesome.


Confession is one of the best ideas the Catholic Church ever had.

A great way to deal with all the guilt that builds up because you can’t manage the absurd set of rules laid down by the hypocritical guilt racked clergy.

Have a wank – take a Hail Mary – all is good with god.

It is psychologically brilliant. It made the church first choice for a lot of sinners – ‘Hey guys – do what you like all week and get blessed on Sunday!’ You start the next week as pure as a newborn baby. Doesn’t that make you feel good? You can’t beat a good dose of religion, can you?

But what was that stuff about original sin?


Confucianism is not so much a religion as a philosophy. It deals a lot with morality rather than gods and souls although many treat it as a religion and Confucius is worshipped in temples all over China.

I’m not sure what he would have made of this though. Confucius gave us many pearls of wisdom. He said such things as ‘man who cooks potatoes and peas in same pot is very unhygienic’ and ‘woman aviator who flies upside down will have crack-up’. ‘war not determine who right. War determine who left’ ‘man who sleep in bed of nails is holy’ ‘man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic’ ‘girl who sit on judge’s lap get honourable discharge’ ‘support bacteria – is only culture some people have’ ‘man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor’ ‘man who masturbates in cash register come into money’. As you can see Confucius was a man of great wisdom and I’m sure his teachings are worthy of further study but times have moved on in the course of thousands of years. I’d rather have the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights any day.


Consecration is when something or someone becomes associated with the sacred. People can become consecrated and ground can become consecrated.

For me it is an all or nothing. Either everything is sacred on the basis that it is absolutely awesome. Or nothing is sacred on the basis that there are no supernatural beings or events. One day I believe that science will explain the things we currently call supernatural. There is much that remains to be discovered.

I do find it a bit sick that they choose to bury executed murderers in quicklime to dissolve them in unconsecrated ground. For people that believe in that mess it is plain vindictive. The only thing is that the executed murderers would never notice?


 This is like the playboy club for the religious. All these women go around in costume. They lead a simple life of talking to the invisible, tending the garden and making simple meals. Some convents specialised in making their own clothes but they had to put a stop to it because it was habit forming.

Convents are very good for women who are nervous about sex. There are a lot of these women in religious countries because the churches and temples and mosques spend so much time telling them how terrible it is to put anything near your vagina, let alone a penis. You’ll be instantly damned to eternity, besides you’ll get a disease that’ll rot your insides, get pregnant which will not only damn you but put your life into shame for ever more and what’s more it hurts like hell. Women’s bodies are really sinful. Best cover them up and sublimate the sexuality into talking to yourself while seated in a pew.

Nuns are lucky they don’t have their clitorises chopped off and their labia sewn up like millions do in some misguided parts of the world.


Religion is such a negative force on the planet. The biggest issue we face at present is overpopulation. We’ve hit 7 billion and rising fast. It is causing immense pollution, environmental damage, ravaging of limited resources, climate change and destruction of nature. There have been two major environmental catastrophes in the past when asteroids collided with the planet. We are the third. Never have there been such a wave of species destruction since the Gulf of Mexico asteroid put pay to the dinosaurs and most of the rest of life on this planet.

So what is the religious response to this disaster?

  1. god gave us the world and all the creatures on it to do with as we wish
  2. Go forth and multiply

I despair of their stupidity and blinkered view. It is so selfish and greedy, so cruel and uncaring.

Despite all the mounting evidence the major religions continue down the path to annihilation on the basis of; ‘We’ll outbreed the other heretical bastards’. They are nuts.

As a biologist I love animals and plants and it pains me to see them being systematically destroyed through greed and religious indifference. It almost seems to me as if some of the nutters actually welcome this destruction of the planet. It is some apocalyptic nightmare that will fulfil their wildest fantasies. In their horribly twisted minds they think that if everything is destroyed it will complete the prophesy and the End of Days will ensue.

They are lusting to bring it on. Anything they can do to help destroy the place is bringing them closer to god’s will. They can’t wait for the end to come. They are on a par with the suicide bomber. At least both types of nutters will not be disappointed when they are dead. They won’t be anything.

Overpopulating the world to the point of destruction is seen as fulfilling the command to go forth and multiply. The fact that it will cause that destruction is an added bonus. It brings the end nearer!

They are so indoctrinated they are stark raving, dribbling saliva, mad.

Religion is evil.


A convert is a deluded individual who, while in the state of immense confusion, has been snared by the devious psychology of organised religion coupled with their desperate wish to believe that magic is real.

Poor sods.

Cor Blimey

Probably the worst swear words possible a few centuries ago. How times change. Back then you could call someone a fucking cunt in genteel company with no blink of the eye. But use a religious term and that was blasphemy. People have been burnt for less.

Cor blimey is a corruption of God Blind Me. Other corruptions like Gee and Jeez and Golly were also popular. Crikey, the lengths people go to – zounds, gadzooks.

Me – I wouldn’t know what blasphemy was and seriously doubt that it is at all possible.


This is the agreement the supernatural fictitious pixie made with the jewish people. Seemingly they are the special ones chosen by the pixie. The rest of humanity can rot.

The christians disagree with this. To them the Old Testament was the first covenant but that was superseded by a second covenant which is the New Testament brought in by Jesus and featured a god who has mellowed a bit over the years. This does present a few difficulties in trying to bring the two into line. The whole tone and lessons are different and it’s as if it’s a different pixie altogether.

Never mind – it’s all phantasmagorical anyway.

Crazy Horse

North American Indians kept their names secret. To know their names gave you power over them. Crazy Horse took his name from a vision. He dreamt he was on a prancing horse that was painted in a particular way. He believed that the magic symbols on the horse made him invincible. Subsequently he painted his horse with these symbols before he went into battle.

The American Indians had some great philosophies about living as hunter gatherers on the plains of America. Their lifestyle was hard and at times extremely idyllic. Most of us secretly crave after a simple life of a similar nature. It is the lifestyle of our ancestors.

Unfortunately it was also a lifestyle that was full of ignorance and superstition in regards to science and the supernatural. It is no wonder they got wiped out by superior technology when they go about believing daft superstition like Crazy Horse did. No matter what magic symbols you plaster on your horse it’ll be no match for a bullet. You can dance and wear your protective Ghost Shirts but soon find out that bullets pass straight through.

You don’t really need telling. No matter how seductive it might sound; no matter how much you want to believe it; if I was to stand you ten metres away from me and tell you to paint yourself with any amount of magic symbols while I pepper you from a machine gun you would, unless you were a complete religious nutter, feel a little uneasy about doing it. That is because you know, in your heart of hearts, that all this religious, supernatural nonsense from our primitive past is nothing but mumbo jumbo.

The North American Indians found out with their last desperate ‘Ghost dance’. That didn’t work either. They were virtually annihilated in one of the worst acts of genocide in history (on a par with Cortez and the Incas – as, ironically, illustrated by Neil Young and Crazy Horse).


According to the great fairy tale this was carried out by the supernatural fairy in 7 days flat.

I’m not quite sure how you measure days when you don’t have a revolving planet yet but we’ll brush over that. I’m also not sure if he’d already done the rest of the universe and was just doing a few finishing touches with the odd planet here and there and earth just happened to be the last, or whether he filled the backdrop of the trillions of galaxies later.

Doesn’t it make you wonder?

The races of man all have their little stories concerning the creation of the universe and the creation of man. They are all really nice to study. They show the lack of understanding of science and the brilliance of human imagination when it comes to story telling. The christian one is not one of the best. There are a lot better.

The Hopi one is good. Seemingly this is their fourth world. They got chucked out of the other three because of …… yes, you’ve guessed it …. Sexual promiscuity!

There are so many different ones.

Just think what you would believe if you’d been born into a different community elsewhere on the planet or at a different time.

Then we’ve got Adam and Eve with Eve being made out a rib. What’s that about? Did the all knowing being simply forget to provide a mate in the first place?

I like the myth where the supernatural being is a baker and he makes people. He bakes some and they’re underdone and come out white. He bakes them for longer and they’re overdone and they come out black. Then he gets it right and the come out brown.

There are some things all the thousands of creation myths have in common:

They were believed by the people in that culture as being true;

They are fun;

They are complete bullshit.


Creationism is a complete insult to the intelligence.

Only out of America with its religious fanaticism, indoctrination, poor standards of education and levels of arrogance and guilt could such a perverse stupidity arise.

Contrary to all the scientific evidence of the fossil record, carbon dating, genetics, astronomy, geology and biology they persist in saying that they world was created in seven days and is only 100,000 years old. They also believe that the whole universe was created at the same time (but we are the only important bit – he made it all for us!). I know! Nuts! Some even base the age of the Earth on the reported ages of people in the bible. Evolution didn’t happen. God put all the fossils in the rocks and created everything at the same time. Men and women walked with dinosaurs. People were made in god’s image and so are perfect (I don’t know what went wrong when he put my body together!). The ideas are so absurd they’d make you laugh out loud if it wasn’t taken so seriously. Only in America could a bunch of ignorant, sometimes intelligent but highly blinkered, fools persist with such a stupid idea.

The worst aspect of it is that they want to officially put it in schools and brain-wash kids with it. It is monstrous. This Tory government has ridiculously allowed the insane creationists to set up Free Schools and Academies over in this country where they can set about indoctrinating our children.

The worst thing of all is that some of these twerps are exceedingly rich and they are after setting up schools all over the planet to snare young kids.

The UN should set up a law preventing stupidities like this. It should be covered under human rights legislation. It’s child abuse.

Creationism is disgusting, an insult to intelligence. I’m with Christopher Hitchins who commented on the evangelist TV nutcase Jerry Falwell and said: ‘If you gave him a big enough enema you could fit him in a matchbox.’.

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