With this elitist burst of despicable nepotism showing absolute disdain for all of us I thought it was worth putting this out. It sums up my views of this unsavoury dishonourable human being.
The Ballad Of Boris Johnson
I was born with a gold spoon in my gob.
Clowned through Eton like a mawkish yob.
Had my fling with the Bullingdon boys,
Using poor people like they were toys.
Some are born to be great
It’s my fate
I couldn’t wait.
Never had to work but the cash flowed in,
Writing columns and drinking pink gin.
I blustered and joked like a complete clown.
Now I’m turning the country upside down!
Some have connections,
Social inflections,
Paternal protections.
Lots of young fillies, red wine at the club,
Boozy nights and lots of good grub.
Paternity suits and a portly build
Were no obstacles for me, down at the guild.
Some have the confidence,
Based on no evidence,
A matter of providence.
A marvellous gig on Have I got News
Secured wider appeal on behalf of the blues.
Before I knew it I was mayor of the City,
Clowning it up and living quite pretty.
Some have the luck,
The pluck,
To make big bucks.
I messed up and joked my way through it.
Many were the times that I nearly blew it.
Stuck on zip wires like a shambling fool;
Blustering and buffooning like a complete tool.
Some are born to be great.
I couldn’t wait.
It’s my fate.
But the people loved me, thought I was fun
They labelled me the chosen one.
I ran the Home Office off my cuff.
Got kicked out when the going got rough.
Some have the confidence,
Based on no evidence,
A matter of providence.
When it came to Brexit I changed my mind.
Here was an opportunity for me to find.
Thanks to Cummings I pulled it off;
Lying to the top with a huff and a puff.
Some have the luck,
The pluck,
To make big bucks.
I’ve blustered my way to the top of the tree
They put me in charge of the whole country.
With all this power I’m completely free.
With all that loot just waiting for me.
Some are born to be great.
I couldn’t wait.
It’s my fate.
Then came covid, that messed me up.
I was out of my depth, all tits up.
I’m dithering around like a complete dick.
Everyone can see I’m completely thick.
They’ll give me the boot
But I’ll have the loot
And I can scoot.
Opher – 21.9.2020