This is so unfair! Nobody Told Me That Going To a Party Was Breaking The Rules On Not Gathering Together That I Myself Had Made!

My defence is that I’m too incredibly stupid to know that being part of a gathering is contrary to the LAW I myself brought in – that it was illegal to gather together (including with dying relatives). Why didn’t anybody tell me!

I’ve never told a lie in my life! It’s all a misunderstanding.

Partygate moved on from “there were no parties”, through “I didn’t know there were any parties” to, “I didn’t know there were any parties even though I was at them”.

My verdict: GUILTY AS HELL!!

This is the guy who consistently lied in every job he’s ever had and lied to the whole country to take us out of Europe. He’s the laziest bastard on the planet who thinks he can just wing it and make it up on the spot and it’ll all miraculously happen!

I don’t forget the oven-ready lies, the lies on funding the NHS, on fisheries, on agriculture, on worker’s rights, on environmental standards. The list of lies is enormous.

This man is the leading exponent of the post-truth era and has seriously damaged democracy. People tar everyone with the same brush.

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