Get Exit Done! Oven-Ready, World-Beating Liar Looking for future multimillion-pound employment! Job Application!

A man with great credentials for lying, cheating, evading, deceiving, writing soundbites, hiding in fridges, fooling gullible people and fornicating is looking for another position (not necessarily sexual – but yes that is the usual option). The role must have wallpaper, free meals at top restaurants, free luxury holidays, plenty of backhanders, crates of expensive wines, Russian connections, villas in the sun, limos, parties, much adoration, blow jobs in the office, a salary in the millions and involve no actual work.

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