What spiffing fun!! Johnson using nostalgia for a time that never was to distract us from his lies and lawbreaking!!

Here we go!! Johnson is trying to tap into the Brexit theme that worked so well for him. He thinks there’s mileage in it and that we are all stupid! He thinks he can distract us from reality so we forget about the incompetence, lies and entitlement.

He really does think we are fools.

Back to Imperial measurements! Instead of using a decimal system that makes sense, we are heading back to the distant past!

He knows the old folk like pounds and ounces so we’re bringing back the barleycorn, leagues, rods, perches, furlong, cubit and coomb. He reckons that people having to work out how many bovales and virgates are in a carucate it’ll take their minds off him and his partying.

It’ll be great for schools too! Instead of dividing things by units of ten they’ll be all manner of numbers flying about.

Kids will spend many happy hours working out how many tierces, chaldrons, drachm and minims there are in a bushel and peck. Forget decimals and simple units – what we want are sixteens, fourteens and difficult sums!

Then we can bring back farthings, bobs, crowns, tanners, florins, angels, marks and groats! Surely we can work out things in twelves, twenties and two hundred and forties!

Bloody foreigners!! Imposing simple systems on us!!

Little did those EU twats know that we really craved nails, cloves and tods!! We love a good dram, Jack, Gill and pottle or a firkin – just as long as it has the Queen’s head on it!!

Johnson’s on a winner here!! He’s already brought back starving children and impoverished families just like in Dicken’s time! With a bit of luck he can bring back football hooliganism and get the murder rate back up to Victorian standards!

Kids will be so taxed trying to work out the weights, measurements and currency that they won’t have time to study politics!

Forget how many billions it cost us to change over to bloody metric! Chuck it all out and let’s get back to worshipping the robber barons!!

We’ll soon be forgetting about this incompetent bunch of profiteers and liars!!

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