The Corona Diaries – Day 182.

Posted on by Opher

‘I I I need to tell the great British people, aaaah, gashooks, that we are in great peril! Periculum magni! Gosh, it’s bad!’

‘There, there, there is only one answer. By Zeus. We’ve got to all come together to, aah, errr, fight this enemy. By Jove.’

‘We’ll um, er, wotsit, fight it in the fish and chip shops. Yes we will! In the supermarkets. Gosh. And in the pubs, yes the pubs. We, er, er, will stop at nothing!  We will never, er, ever, surrender!’

‘And, and, this is why I’m telling the British people, the er gosh, freedom-loving people of our great country, that we have to, awf awf, destroy this virus, by golly, drive it into the sea! We shall, er er, never bally stop!’

‘So today I am taking major strides towards, yew yew, aaagh, making us all safe. And, and and we have to jolly well follow the rules. It’s jolly important! So from today the pubs will shut at 10 pm! That’ll show the blighter! We’re changing, arf arf, aaagh, social distancing to aaah, 1 metre 26, outside and .954 of a metre inside, or something like that. I can’t quite remember what that Whitty fellow said. Anyway, keep apart, except if you’re very rich er er, then you can shoot grouse and party all night because, aaaah aaaah, you won’t be spreading the disease. teams can play sport but, aaah, aaah, arf, they can only have three in a team, unless, aaah, urgh, they are all from the same family, or or or similar families, then it can be up to, um um a hundred. But er, er, only if they wear knee-length boots to er protect against airborne virus on the grass.’

‘And, um, er, er, remember – you have to jolly well work from home – but nip out to buy sandwiches and er er gosh, always use public transport! And er arf arf, wear a mask – though not one of me – or aaaah that serial killer chappie.’

‘So, err, eat out to save my arse and stay in to aaaah,save yours.’

‘So, arf arf, my friends, remember, we’re all in it together. An an an to jolly well bring into line, all those arf, pesky youngsters out partying like there’s no tomorrow – well actually, there isn’t any tomorrow, is there arf arf – we’re going to um er er fine you all, well huh, not quite all of you, but those blighters not following the rules, to the letter. My good friend Rishi says we need the cash. This, er er bally virus, is costing us a fortune! So it’ll be £10,000 quid a pop! Straight, um um, from your bank into, er eer, my pocket!’

‘I’m jolly, er, glad, we cleared all that up! Now it’s bally well past two-o-clock – er errr, time for my bottle of red and, err er, my afternoon nap.’

I always find it exhilarating to hear our illustrious leader speak. He manages to clarify things in such a magnificent manner. His oratory and use of language reminds me of Churchill after his fifth bottle.

So nice to see him being allowed out to use the teleprompter. I bet Cummings had his heart in his mouth.

It’s so good to see that despite being in a terrible state with a fast-rising rate (up to 4,368 new cases yesterday and science experts predicting up to 50,000 cases a day if this rate continues, hospital cases rising fast and death not too far behind) Johnson is proposing to shut pubs by 10.00 pm. That’ll stop it! There’s nowt like firm, decisive action – and this is nothing like firm, decisive action.

In the States there was another 39,127 cases and 426 deaths, while in Brazil it was only 13,439 with 377 deaths!

Today, being the last day of summer and temperatures of 22 degrees here in Yorkshire, we headed out for the day onto the moors. Walked up to the Roman road and had a drive around – glorious.

Tomorrow the temperatures drop and autumn is upon us. I wonder what autumn and winter, under the heroic leadership of Johnson, Rees-Mogg and Cummings, has in store for us?

Stay Safe everyone!

 

36 thoughts on “The Corona Diaries – Day 182.”

  2. Opher, this is your best yet. Ridicule is what will bring down these bastards.

    And, unfortunately, martyrdom. Ordering me to virtue-signal by wearing a mask in shops is like ordering a Muslim to drink alcohol. Of course, I respect property owners’ rights to insist that you wear a mask on their property; provided that they provide the mask, and it is discarded into the trash when you leave.

    I’m about to become a martyr.

    1. Cheers Neil – I hope you are not about to burn yourself in front of the House of Commons! It makes such a mess in the road. Someone has to clear it up. Oh, do you mean you are going to blow yourself up, taking the cabinet with you??

      1. Lovely thoughts Opher, but I’m not Guy Fawkes. No: I will simply stick to my principles, and ignore their bad “laws” until they bankrupt me or physically restrain me.

      3. Agreed in principle – it is a personal choice to endanger oneself by not following rules (mask-wearing) – but if disobedience potentially endangers other people around you, that is wrong. Why would someone want to be so selfish and not wear a mask in enclosed public spaces like retail outlets and pose a threat to others? By my reckoning we each have a responsibility to ourselves and others to mitigate the spread of Covid.

        Those who are not key-workers, those who either have opportunity to work from home, or are retired etc, have greater opportunity of minimising the risk of contracting C-19 since they can pick and choose the occasions when exposing themselves to risk. Key workers, such as staff in retail outlets, do not have that same choice, and are reliant upon personal vigilance and most importantly full compliance of mask-wearing rules and social distancing measures by members of the public.

        Greater powers should be given to retailers to refuse entry to customers who are breaking the law and cannot prove they are exempt from Covid rules.

        DN

      4. I agree. Not wearing a mask is antisocial. It exposes others to risk. I fear the conflict that will come out of this.

      5. Last night a You.Gov poll published the result of a poll showing strong support for government measures: 78% of Britons support the new lock-down measures announced today, including 44% who “strongly support” them. Personally, I don’t think the new restrictions go far enough to lower the R-rate.

        Earlier in the year, a number of measures combining collectively was required to get the R-value beneath 1. BoJo is reluctant to impose this level of restriction, and instead prioritizes the economy over public health. Whilst a balance between these two is essential, such decisions surely rely upon the working effectiveness of Test and Trace, the state of preparedness of the NHS (and Care Homes) and the government’s delivery of clear, concise messaging. Only today we read that chemicals and machines needed to hit Testing targets of 500,000 daily tests by end of October are ‘a few weeks behind’. Clearly the government and Dido Harding are behind the curve yet again and their statements on world-beating nothing more than hollow lies. Another failure.

        Should furlough be abandoned, and financial support for businesses be removed, the rise in job-losses will be substantial. Social unrest is a very real prospect as the U.K returns to unemployment levels last seen in the 80’s. Combined with shortfalls in council budgets that will see many local/national support services weakened, and a no-deal Brexit effecting large swathes of the economy, the toll on communities will be severe. The London School of Economics has suggested the economic cost of a no-deal Brexit could be two or three times worse than the impact of Covid…the effect of which will last years. All-in-all, it’s not a pretty picture.

        DN

      6. I don’t think they will make the slightest difference – all cosmetic. We need something stronger – or a complete rethink.
        I think Johnson is held hostage by the extremists he has sided with.
        He purged anybody with any sense.

      7. Deluded and delusional, the U.K government are out of their depth, out of ideas, and out of time. It would have been better for BoJo to purge himself of toxic political ideology than rid himself of those with better sense, better understanding, and more noble qualities. The man is a liability.

        Piling on the misery, Gove announced today there could be queues of 7,000 lorries in Kent in January if firms are not ready for Brexit. Acknowledging the size of government failures on Brexit, it appears Gove has already started to shift the blame onto businesses. No doubt Tory MP’s in and around Kent will be delighted with their parties hapless preparation, and be keen to celebrate the environmental damage as swathes of Kent are paved over or subject to increased pollution. Most probably it will be Nature’s fault for existing to close to the vehicular turmoil about to be unleashed on the U.K.

        DN

      8. Part of me is almost gleeful. I want to see the reaction to the mess they are busy creating! I hope it’s a big enough hole to bury the lot of them. No doubt they will all crawl off with their ill-gotten gains.

      10. I fear that Starmer is a watered-down Tory. Still, I just hope that they prove better than this lot of jerks. Can’t be too hard can it?

      11. Starmer is a Knight of the Realm Opher – an establishment figure – he’ll neither rock the boat nor excite with progressive policies. If however Labour remain honest, sincere, open and transparent, and make policy work for the betterment of all, then he will likely fair far better than the shambolic, self-serving, duplicitous Tories.

        There’s a long, long way to go before the next GE. During that time, Starmer’s performance will be closely judged by an disquieted electorate quickly waking-up to the utter mess created by a succession of Tory governments.

        DN

      12. That about sums it up Dewin. I had hoped for something better but improvement is probably the best we can hope for. We’ll see. As you say, there is plenty of time.

      4. With a person like Trump or Johnson, both of whom are so full of crap, one would only need to be in the same city to smell the reek.

      7. HaHaHa LOL when the racist epithet sticks to you, “That doesn’t make sense”!!!! Yet you imagine that your attempts to apply the same epithet upon me … Oh for sure that makes sense. LOL what a contradiction, what a total joke.

      9. Moshe, there is only one of us using racist language or putting down whole races of people. There’s one of us talking about subhumans and hoping a whole people suffer. There is only one of us racially abusing people.
        I despise Trump and Johnson because they are stupid and their policies are intolerant, racist, misogynistic and exceedingly harmful to the environment. Not because of their race.

      10. The race bunk expresses Nazism. Totally and absolutely discredited. Only a subhuman would actively seek to exterminate entire peoples. Like the Europeans and Americans did with the native Indians. You say these disparaging terms but never once attempt to show how their policy match your disgusting picture.

  4. I see you’ve delved into your inky bag of tricks and pulled out another winning script-writer’s piece. Much enjoyed Opher, you must write more!

    Reading between the lines of BoJo’s address to the nation, it becomes clear that the government have lost control and the public – the freedom loving Brits – are being lined up to take the blame for government failures responding to C-19.

    BoJo’s new restrictions (not really new given that they are already in place locally) do not go far enough and will do little to mitigate the spread of C-19. Closing pubs at 10pm will have minimal impact given that multiple different households can interchangeably meet up.

    There was no mention of Test and Trace – currently failing to reach about half of all contacts of infected people in worst-hit areas – which is pivotal for successful control of the virus, and helps to explain why local lock-downs have not proven effective – cases are rebounding in these areas. Little wonder BoJo threw a little tantrum when mention was made of Germany’s success with Covid compared to the U.K. He knows his government have been incompetent, and that he as a leader has failed

    Yet another government U-turn, this time regarding government’s insistence that workers should return to the office. Now it is work from home if possible. His messaging is confusing and inconsistent.

    If the scenario laid out in Vallence and Whitty’s address is accepted, there is a rough six months ahead and the possibility of excess deaths as a result of exponentially increasing C-19 case-numbers. Unless we are compliant with rules – masked not muzzled – there will be dark days ahead.

    Enjoy day 183

    DN

    1. Glad you enjoyed it Dewin. It’s not difficult sending up this bunch of clowns.
      Yes, Cummings will no doubt weasel his way to putting the blame on others.
      Track and Trace and Moonshot were very absent. I wonder why?
      His leadership has been lamentable. They have dithered around with stupid contradictory statements. It was obvious that urging people back to offices was stupid given the situation with pubs, schools and universities.

      5. I have to admire your optimism Opher, but with an 80 seat majority and four more years before the next election, there is still plenty of time for a whole heap of pain to rain down on us yet.

        DN

      6. Yep – a lot of pain to come – but nothing that can’t be undone! Maybe it will teach some people a few lessons. You can never trust a Tory.

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