Poetry – John Phillips – The Ballad of Dodgy Dave

Time for a reprise of John Phillips. I do enjoy his political poems. As Trump, Johnson and Bolsonaro continue to make a cock-up I think it’s always good to understand that they promise the earth and deliver sod all – particularly Tories and Republicans.

The Ballad of Dodgy Dave


When Cameron was Prime Minister

That’s when it all began.

He thought he could do anything;

He was that kind of man.


The Tories thought him wonderful,

Their fortunes, he could save;

Whilst Labour sought to bring him down

And called him Dodgy Dave.


When faced with an election

He laid a cunning plan.

He’d hold a referendum

And win himself some fans.


Right-wingers were a problem;

They hated the E.U.

He’d give them rope to hang themselves;

That’s what he planned to do.


He launched his manifesto;

The promises ran free.

They won him the election,

By stealth and bribery.


But Dodgy Dave could not evade

The meaning of his words.

The date was set, the promise met

In manner most absurd.


Then politicians on both sides

Campaigned with all their might

Without regard for truth or lies

Or what was wrong or right.


Now Dave was feeling confident

When voting day arrived.

With all his usual arrogance,

Opponents he decried.


But when the votes were counted,

The answer loud and clear;

That Dodgy Dave had lost the game

And ruined his career.


So Dodgy David Cameron,

He did n’t even try

To sort the awful mess he’d made;

He simply waved goodbye.


Now Dodgy Dave is past and gone,

A pawn of history.

The Man Who Ruined Britain,

Will be his legacy.


The moral of this story

Is painful, stark and clear.

Don’t ever trust a Tory,

It’ll all-ways end in tears.


From the book ‘Shorts and Shots’ by John Phillips.

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