Another poem from Shorts and shots – available from Amazon:
A Politicians lament.
The people have spoken, the bastards!
The public has voted me out.
They say that I cannot be trusted;
That should n’t be what it’s about.
They say that I fiddled expenses;
They claim my accounting is flawed.
So I made a few bob, I was good at my job
And it’s fair I received my reward.
It’s rumoured I’m owned by Big Business
And am paid in substantial amounts.
That cash is my paramount interest,
And the state of my offshore accounts.
When alleged that my deeds were illegal,
I was so overwhelmed with surprise;
I can honestly say, it was never that way
And it’s all been a tissue of lies.
It’s been said I’m misogynistic,
A rake and a letch and a grope.
What ‘s a man s’posed to do, if the girls go for you?
I was tempted, it was n’t my fault.
And that night at the fancy-dress party,
With my swastika, jackboots and gun.
What a hell of a mess when it leaked to the press;
It was only a matter of fun.
But the people have spoken, the bastards;
And there’s nothing to do or to say.
So I’ll cash in my bonds and my holdings
And siphon the money away.
After all that I’ve done for the country,
I’ve been branded, a knave and a fraud.
So I’ll clear-out my desk, have a well-deserved rest
And then take up my seat in The Lords.