Opher Goodwin – Tory Leadership Bid!

Posted on by Opher

Yes – I have looked at the candidates and think that my pet rat could do a better job than any of these so I have decided to run against them.

Here is my manifesto:

I would immediately revoke article 50 and save the country from ruin.

I will kick all extreme right-wingers out of the party (basically most of them).

I will cut off all ties with big business.

I will plug all those tax loopholes.

I will properly fund all the public services.

I will raise the basic wage.

I would ensure that all workers’ rights are properly protected.

I would overhaul the welfare system to ensure people were treated fairly and given incentives to work.

I will introduce student grants instead of loans.

I will raise taxes for corporations and the rich.

I will nationalise the railways, electricity and gas.

I will subsidise all green energy initiatives.

I would look to protect nature across the whole country and beyond!!

I would then disband the Tory party so that they can never inflict their injustices on us again!

So vote for Opher Goodwin – a Leader who really cares!!

Opher Goodwin for PM!!

 

37 thoughts on “Opher Goodwin – Tory Leadership Bid!”

  1. Ha ha, good man Opher! Anyone who likes rats is a suitable candidate in my opinion. You’ve got my vote!

  2. Opher, with that platform you’ll have to rush over the Atlantic and take over the Presidency of the U.S. in your spare time.

    You’ve got Tubularsock’s vote and Tubularsock has a talent for the art of stuffing ballot boxes!

    FULL SPEED AHEAD!

      1. I may think about it if you’re willing to add the following to your manifesto:-. 1. Compulsory crossings for frogs, hedgehogs and squirrels on all major roads. 2. A free weekly bottle of Sanatogen tonic wine for everyone 50 plus.
        😁

      2. Ellem – I am always willing to bargain for a vote as long as it stays within the parameters of my philosophy and moral code! I find fault with your first point because it discriminates against toads, newts, shrews, dormice, voles, hares, rabbits, otters, pine-martins etc. – so I would extend it to include all those.
        I would agree with the free Sanatogen and add a tub of salted caramel ice-cream!

      3. 😂😂😂 I own up to the discrimination, albeit unintended. I am deeply ashamed and will make a point of being more inclusive in future. Caramel ice-cream sounds good!

      4. That’s great! Let’s get going! I’ll ring up the distributors of Sanatogen and salted caramel ice-cream.

  9. Salted caramel is disgusting. I didn’t realise you were a Conservative. (Do you have to be to run for leader?).
    Perhaps it would be better to campaign for Jeremy (Corbyn not C…). JC4PM.

    1. Aaah!! You’ve spotted the fatal flaw in my campaign!!
      I’d no more be a Conservative than self-castrate myself with a rusty penknife.
      Long live JC!!!

      2. No – but I did once discover blue cheese ice-cream and found it surprisingly good. Who would have guessed that?

      1. It would be fortunate were I able to sympathize with your current plight…., but then I would, of course, be lying. You and I find enough things upon which we might agree so I’ll stick to those.
        Gave a listen recently to The Fall’s Iceland , from Hex Induction. I’m sure Mark would strenuously disagree, but I’m hearing a lot of Velvet Underground. Whatcha think?

      2. Lol – good to hear from you.
        Yes I think you are right. I hear a lot of Velvets, Captain Beefheart and New York Punk.

      3. Comes from his NY-Chicago years in early 80s. I think it was 82 he moved back to Prestwich. Few years later inspired My New House……the place he bought off the Baptists 😝

      4. Aah! That might well explain it! Though the Velvets and Beefheart were big influences on the Punk movement over here in the mid seventies – along with New York Dolls, Ramones etc. It got ingrained into the system.

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