Opher Goodwin – Tory Leadership Bid!

Yes – I have looked at the candidates and think that my pet rat could do a better job than any of these so I have decided to run against them.

Here is my manifesto:

I would immediately revoke article 50 and save the country from ruin.

I will kick all extreme right-wingers out of the party (basically most of them).

I will cut off all ties with big business.

I will plug all those tax loopholes.

I will properly fund all the public services.

I will raise the basic wage.

I would ensure that all workers’ rights are properly protected.

I would overhaul the welfare system to ensure people were treated fairly and given incentives to work.

I will introduce student grants instead of loans.

I will raise taxes for corporations and the rich.

I will nationalise the railways, electricity and gas.

I will subsidise all green energy initiatives.

I would look to protect nature across the whole country and beyond!!

I would then disband the Tory party so that they can never inflict their injustices on us again!

So vote for Opher Goodwin – a Leader who really cares!!

Opher Goodwin for PM!!

 

31 thoughts on “Opher Goodwin – Tory Leadership Bid!

  1. Opher, with that platform you’ll have to rush over the Atlantic and take over the Presidency of the U.S. in your spare time.

    You’ve got Tubularsock’s vote and Tubularsock has a talent for the art of stuffing ballot boxes!

    FULL SPEED AHEAD!

      1. I may think about it if you’re willing to add the following to your manifesto:-. 1. Compulsory crossings for frogs, hedgehogs and squirrels on all major roads. 2. A free weekly bottle of Sanatogen tonic wine for everyone 50 plus.
        😁

      2. Ellem – I am always willing to bargain for a vote as long as it stays within the parameters of my philosophy and moral code! I find fault with your first point because it discriminates against toads, newts, shrews, dormice, voles, hares, rabbits, otters, pine-martins etc. – so I would extend it to include all those.
        I would agree with the free Sanatogen and add a tub of salted caramel ice-cream!

      3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I own up to the discrimination, albeit unintended. I am deeply ashamed and will make a point of being more inclusive in future. Caramel ice-cream sounds good!

  2. Salted caramel is disgusting. I didn’t realise you were a Conservative. (Do you have to be to run for leader?).
    Perhaps it would be better to campaign for Jeremy (Corbyn not C…). JC4PM.

    1. Aaah!! You’ve spotted the fatal flaw in my campaign!!
      I’d no more be a Conservative than self-castrate myself with a rusty penknife.
      Long live JC!!!

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