The Offer of Infinity.
I have just been offered infinity over the phone.
At first I thought it was ISIS phoning or maybe the Jehovah’s Witnesses but it wasn’t. Infinity is quite an offer. I mean that is no short-term thing.
Did I really want infinity?
It set my mind racing.
I mean what would you do forever? It could end up becoming tedious after a few billion years.
I love my dead parents and liked seeing them and living with them as a child. But I remember that even after a day or two we could start getting on each other’s nerves. After a million years we’d be at each other’s throats. Forever is quite a big concept to deal with. How could you be with anyone for that long?. We might end up arguing!
I mean even the offer of Heaven is a mixed curse – hanging around in heaven all eternal day blissfully praising and singing. Even bliss might become monotonous and start to get on my nerves.
Then what if it was paradise she was offering? The idea of fifty three virgins sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Even twenty four could be a bit trying. It’s hard enough dealing with one woman. And all perpetual virgins? Or was there a rota and they were constantly replaced? Where did the virgins go after they had ceased to be virgins? And where did all these virgins come from in the first place? And why virgins anyway? What is this obsession with virginity? No I’d definitely prefer just a few ladies with a lot more experience!
So there was a lot going through my mind as I listened to the young lady on the phone. My mind was doing overtime.
It was when she informed me she was from BT (British Telecom) that I twigged that it was no fundamentalist group or evangelical minister.
I think I was disappointed. I immediately called her a liar.
I mean the service might be an improvement on what I already had – fibre optics is immensely preferable to copper – but infinity it is not!
I’m not usually so rude. She made me feel guilty.
The long and short of it is that I have signed up.
The good thing is that I get a brand new hub and a much better service with great download speed (though far from infinite).
The bad news is that I have to wait until next Wednesday week. That is another week of wading through treacle and not being able to open emails.
I have decided that BT is really just another religious order. They certainly make you pay now for promises of future rewards!
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